Lifting her apron, Felicity thrust it hastily in her pocket, then moved across to the sink. She really must talk to Nurse Jones about leaving the place in such a mess, she thought mechanically as she swilled away the fallen leaves and petals of some recently arranged flowers.
"Nurse Dene? Oh, there you are!" A red-headed nurse poked her head round the door. "I couldn't think where you'd got to, Mr. Elver is on the ward and asking for you."
"I'll come straight away ... but Nurse Jones, just a moment." She beckoned the girl into the room. "I was just clearing up this mess, why, I can't think." She forced a laugh to cover her own confusion, it was so obvious why she had been clearing up-at least to herself-she had longed for some occupation, anything to delay for a few minutes her return to the ward. "You really mustn't leave the sink in this state. I know patient's flowers are a nuisance but they are all part of the routine and you can't leave the odds and ends lying about. Now finish clearing up and hurry about it."
"It's Watson I want to talk to you about," Philip Elver began as Felicity joined him on the ward. "Mr. MacFarlayne discharged him this morning ... I expect Sister told you ... but that 'walking plaster' is to be refixed first, I wondered if Sister could arrange for it to be done this evening?"
"Sister is 'off', but I expect I can do it," Felicity agreed, then went on, "Morgan is to go too, that gives us two beds."
"Yes, I know, I want to talk to you about admissions too."
While they had been speaking they had made their way towards Sister's office and now, on the threshold Felicity paused. "Do you want some tea?" At his nod of assent Felicity instructed a probationer to bring it along, then entered the office and closed the door behind her. "There is a waiting list for this ward, isn't there?"
"I'll say there is," Philip laughed. "About a mile long!" He studied a paper he held in his hand. "Brenton leaves Friday, doesn't he? That will free a bed." He concentrated on the paper in his hand, a frown creasing his forehead. "How about moving that hip case along there, that man must be an awful nuisance to the others in the ward, he'd be far better in a private room, his language at times is quite appalling."
"You mean Morati, that disagreeable old so and so?" Felicity smiled, but the smile hid the sudden shock which Philip's suggestion had unwittingly provoked. Yet why on earth should it matter, hundreds of patients had occupied that cubicle and would go on doing so, surely she wasn't harbouring any ridiculous notion of keeping it sacrosanct since Guy Brenton had occupied it for a brief spell. "Yes, I suppose you are right. I-I'll discuss what you said with Sister first thing tomorrow."
The entrance of a probationer carrying a tray with tea momentarily disturbed their conversation, but with his cup balanced on his knee and a plate in one hand, Philip began again. "I understand that Brenton is going down to Buckinghamshire to recuperate. I don't imagine you'll be sorry, nursing him must have been rather a strain. He is making such a slow recovery, too, perhaps getting away will hurry his convalescence." He rose to his feet and flicked a speck of ash from the lapel of his jacket. "I suppose I'd better be moving, I've got a session of O.P.s with MacFarlayne this afternoon. I don't mind telling you I'm getting a bit sick of that old dodderer. I shan't be sorry to have Brenton back, at least he knows what he wants. Old MacFarlayne dithers around until I don't know whether I'm on my head or my heels." He swung the chair he had been using back into its place by the window, and glanced out. "Filthy day. I'm told we needed rain but surely the supply is exceeding the demand."
"I think it's clearing a bit." Felicity spoke mechanically, then went on. "You do think Mr. Brenton will come back, don't you?"
"I thought I noticed a slight improvement this morning, the nerve reactions seemed better, I've got a hunch he'll be all right in the end, if only he'd make the effort. It's odd how unco-operative he has been all along. If he didn't return I believe you'd miss him as much as I would."
"Yes," Felicity admitted, while for a fleeting second she tried to visualize St. Edwin's without Guy Brenton. "I'm going to miss him as a patient too."
"First rule of nursing, never get too interested in one patient." Philip laughed as he spoke with assumed pomposity. "Quite against regulations, Nurse, a patient should remain a mere cipher, never, never a person. Just think of it-a nurse falling in love with her patient-why, the whole nursing profession would shudder at the very idea." With a laugh Philip turned to the door. "So long, thanks for the tea, I'll be along in the morning to see what Sister's fixed about those admissions."
Felicity could hear the ring of his footsteps getting fainter as he turned from the office door and made his way down the stone corridor towards the lift. They stopped and a strange, still silence enveloped her, yet it was not quite silent, the small confined space still seemed to echo Philip's words-"a nurse falling in love with her patient"-a foolish thing for him to have said-a ridiculous insinuation. Of course he had only been joking, he'd be the first to laugh his head off if he thought for one moment she'd taken it seriously. Felicity leaned her elbows on the desk and rested her forehead wearily against her hands. Her thoughts were in a turmoil. What was the matter with her, what did it all mean? Scarcely aware of the action she fumbled in her pocket for the ring, the light from the window caused the facets of the large diamond to sparkle between her fingers, it was as if it returned her gaze, unflinchingly, mockingly. With a hasty gesture she returned it to her pocket, she hoped Alaine Jason would soon call in to claim it, she'd be glad to be rid of it, to hand back to Alaine this symbol 'of a man's devotion.'
Felicity was thankful that Sister's absence that afternoon made her far too busy to spare much time for her own thoughts. From the time following Philip's departure until well into the evening she was too occupied to dwell on her own troubles and she couldn't help being glad that the extra work gave her a legitimate excuse for leaving Guy Brenton in O'Brien's charge. On any other afternoon she might have resented the fact that number four's extension tackle should choose Sister's half-day to become temperamental or that Tom Brent in number seven should decide to have a rigor at that particular moment. She was in fact grateful for her many additional duties.
Even Alaine on her arrival had realized that Felicity's impatience to shorten their interview was justified, and with the ring safely on her finger she herself appeared to have no wish to prolong it. With a gushing show of gratitude she had left Felicity to her work. "I can take my gloves off this visit!" she had exclaimed with a laugh as she had hurried in the direction of her fiancé's room.
It was some time later that Felicity realized that within half an hour Night Sister would arrive to relieve her. She could scarcely go off duty without a peep at her patient, so, instructing her junior about the last remaining jobs, Felicity steeled herself to the task.
"Where on earth have you been all day?" Guy Brenton greeted her. "You've not been near me since this morning!"
"I'm sorry." Felicity crossed the room and drew the curtains across the window, shutting out the last of the fading daylight. "Sister has been off duty. I have been even more pressed than usual." She knew the excuse must have sounded unconvincing. Sister's half-days were a regular institution and previously she'd never let Guy Brenton feel any neglect. She could have got into him if she'd wanted to-seen personally to his tea-tray-tended to those little things which had added so much to his comfort-she just hadn't wanted to, she'd been putting off the moment when she'd have to face him with that acute sense of guilt which she felt sure must be written on her face for all to see.
"Oh, well, never mind. I've been up most of the afternoon, O'Brien has just settled me back in bed. I'd better walk around a bit more tomorrow, I must get on to my feet before I leave at the end of the week."
"Yes, I think that would be a good idea." Felicity moved round the room straightening a chair, plumping up a cushion and obviously seeking some occupation.