But still –
Michaela loped up, beaming, her laptop clutched in her big arm.
“Girl, I swear you’ve been trying to avoid me.”
“I can’t avoid you. You’re, like, my roommate.”
“That’s true.” Michaela linked her other arm around Kate’s and together they walked to the library. “I know you’ve been holding out of me and I know I have no right to ask you to tell me anything you don’t want to, but damn, girl, I miss you!”
“But I’m right here. I’m your roommate.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Other people passing them gave them amused stares. And why not? Michaela was a humungous big black girl with her arm linked with another big, albeit far smaller, white girl.
“What do you mean?” Kate demanded, although she knew exactly what Michaela meant. She had been there . . . but not there.
“I mean us talking. We used to talk all the time.”
“We still do.”
“Yeah, but you won’t tell me who you’ve been seeing.”
“I’m not seeing anybody.” Kate squirmed. She had always been bad at lying. But it was one of his rules of engagement. If you want this tryst between us, tell no one. Not your best friend. Not your sister. Not your mother. And not even your shadow.
“Liar.”
“OK, but I made a promise not to tell anyone about it. Please, Michaela, I love you, but I did promise. Please!”
Kate sounded so beseeching that Michaela relented.
“OK, but you have got to tell me one day.” She spun Kate around and bored her brown eyes into Kate’s orbs. “You’re different, and I’m worried about you. Whoever this guy is, he’s not good for you. You’re too quiet these days. What’s the word for it? Pensive. Like you’ve permanently lost your dog.”
“I am not!”
“You are. You don’t notice things like these, but I do. You’re mooning around sometimes like you want to kill yourself, and other times, you’re just like a kid with candy at Halloween. These mood swings are worrying me, girl. You’re losing weight.”
“I am?” Kate cried in horror.
Michaela started to laugh. “Look at yourself. I’ll bet a month ago you would have given anything to lose weight. And right now, you should just see the look on your face. It’s like hell just froze over.”
Kate grimaced. “I mean – ”
Michaela was right. She was a mess.
“Girl, if you’ve got a problem, I want you to tell me about it, OK?” Michaela turned serious. “There’s no use you pining and not doing something about it. Whatever it is – drugs, pregnancy, a guy who’s been cheating on you – you tell me about it and I’ll fix it. You hear? That’s what my Mama always said. If you have a problem, you tell someone who can fix it. My Mama always fixed things, and I inherited that from her.”
Kate nodded. “I promise, I will. But I’m not in trouble.”
Not yet.
Michaela gave her a fierce bear hug, and then together, they walked into the library, the best of friends.
*
Funny Michaela should mention pregnancy.
Because that was the least of Kate’s problems.
That day – after she had seduced Rust O’Brien in his office for the second time after their tryst in the Alpha Men’s Club – he asked her:
“Do you want to continue this?”
Her heart leaped. She didn’t even hesitate or play hard to get. After all, she was the seducer.
She said, “Yes.”
“Are you on the pill?”
“No.”
“You have any conditions that would contraindicate you to be on the pill?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Great.” He zipped up his pants. His face was flushed and his expression was that of a very satisfied cat. A huge, striped, furry cat.
She was pleased – though she would never say so to him – that she had given him so much pleasure that he asked her if she wanted to continue.
“Why do you ask . . . sir?” she said. She still wasn’t sure what to call him. ‘The Perfesser’ seemed too perfunctory.
He did not contradict her, or ask her to call him ‘Rust’. He stood up.
“I like fucking without condoms,” he said. “If you would be exclusive to me, that wouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Exclusive to him? The thought thrilled her.
“Yes,” she said boldly. “But what if you are not exclusive to me? What if you . . . catch something from someone else . . . and pass it on to me?”
Wow. She couldn’t believe she said that. But she was on a high after the sex.
He stared at her for a long, long time. His expression was one of amusement.