beautifully broken:if i break 3(23)
chapter 7
May 10, 2008
A bust. A fucking bust! Why does everyone I hire have to be such a fucking idiot? It’s better to do things yourself than to depend on anyone else. The dunce detectives I hired lost him. How the hell do you lose a 50 year old alcoholic with a limp? Fucking dummies. I should have gone as soon as they told me they found him. I should have hopped on the jet and went straight there.
“We’ll be landing in five minutes Mr. Scott,” the attendant on the jet tells me, looking at the glass on the floor from one of the bottles I threw across the room.
“I will be back in to clean that up for you,” she says. I wave her off.
“I’ll do it, don’t worry about it,” I say, frustrated.
“Fuck!” I say aloud. I almost had him. Right in my grasp. I was going to be able to break his fucking neck, and they lose him. I lean back into whatever foreign material seats Dexter probably paid a million fucking dollars for. Thinking of him makes me pissed off even more. He thinks he’s so slick, saying he can’t find Clay, to give him time while he sits back twiddling his damn thumbs. It’s fine though. Maybe it’s time to twiddle my own thumbs for a while. He thinks he's the only one that can play that game? Fuck Dexter Crestfield, I’ve been too nice, too calm, too relaxed. I’ve learned that doesn’t get you anywhere. My phone vibrates and I see it’s a text message from my driver Byron, letting me know they’ve arrived at the landing site. It surprises me that I feel my anger and frustration dissipating, thinking of the package he’s bringing me.
Lauren Brooks, hopefully wrapped in a nice tight little bow for me. This definitely isn’t a good night for me to see her. I’m frustrated and need a release. I haven’t had sex in almost three weeks which is a record, for me at least, and after this shit today I need a girl I can have climbing walls tonight. I try to push aside the image of how she’d look as I make her come.
I’ve never tried this hard to convince myself to not have sex with a girl before. She’s beautiful, hot as hell, but she’s funny, and sweet, and smart and she likes me and that’s the problem. Most girls don’t like me, they like how I look, the cars, the money, the places I take them.
Which is cool since I usually just like the way they look, smell and feel under or on top of me, but she’s different. She’s dangerous for me. She doesn’t even know it, I can’t let her know it. I need to get a fucking grip. I’m pulling out the Aston tonight. One of Dex’s many toys, I don’t even know why, we could have just taken the limo like I planned but I want her to see it. It worries me that I want to impress her. I usually don’t give a shit and it isn’t even hard to impress girls. The universe didn’t give me much but it gave me looks that make girls wet and usually the more of a dick you are the more girls like you. Since I’ve been told I’m naturally a dick, it works out for me, but around her I don’t want to be an ass. I call her and she’s excited, her voice is high but sometimes in the conversation it’ll drop an octave, becoming low and seductive, and I wonder if she knows what it does to me. She seems innocent, which makes me think of how fun it would be to corrupt her, even though I like her just the way she is.
It’s a catch 22.
I make my way out of the plane and when I see her it’s the first time in my life I want to freeze the moment. She’s waiting for me outside the limo, and her beauty smacks me in the face. The dress she’s wearing reminds me how sexy she is, it isn’t tight but short, revealing just enough to make me want to know what’s under it. And it’s thin enough I can rip it off in seconds. The closer I get to her the more adrenaline I feel, my blood already pulsing through my entire body. She smiles at me as I get closer to her, a smile I could see every day. One that reminds you of your childhood, fresh baked cookies right out the oven, and as my eyes make my way down her body I feel hungry for anything but food.
“You look,” I have to stop myself from saying something that will scare her off. I don’t usually censor myself so who knows what the hell will come flying out of my mouth. I want to stop looking at her but I can’t and I have to see the full view.
“You’ve got to do a spin for me.” I take every inch of her in. She starts to blush, looking away from me bashfully, and I’m even more turned on.
“Hold that thought,” she doesn’t have to move an inch. I walk behind her to get a better view. She’s a ten from front to back. I have to touch her, but once I do I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. Still I can’t help myself. I won’t touch her where I want, that’s a lie. I want to touch her everywhere and not stop but I control myself. I’ll just touch her waist, her stomach, those are safe zones. My hands slide across the thin material and I feel her relax as my hand slides across her stomach as I pull her toward me. She feels so good, she smells good, I’ve got to stop or we won’t even make it to this opening.