beautifully broken(69)

“I told you I don’t want to talk to anyone,” he says, his tone the same monotone it’s been since we stepped foot in our house. It hasn’t lowered or risen since.

“Lauren told me that but I knew that you’d make an exception for me,” Helen says playfully.

“What do you want Dr. Lyce,” he asks stoically.

“I came to see how you’re doing. If there was anything I could do to help you.”

“I don’t need any help I’ve never felt better. I’m completely fine,” he says, grabbing the remote beside him and turning the channel. The patience I’ve been holding on to these past two weeks is starting to wear thin.

“You’re not fine Chris!” I interject. Frustration outweighing the patience I’ve been holding on to by a thread since he’s been acting like this. He briefly glances at me but doesn’t say anything. Helen shoots me a warning glare and I let out a sigh as I sit on the couch opposite from them.

“How do you like Chicago?” she asks, changing the subject.

“It’s fine,” he says.

“Is there anything that you miss about being home?”

“This is my home now,” he says without missing a beat.

“Are you happy Chris? Does being with Lauren and Caylen make you happy?” she asks, and this is one question I’d love to hear the answer to.

“I don’t want to talk about them with you,” he says, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen. I follow behind him.

“Well, talk to me about it. Are you happy here, with us?” I ask him as he searches through the refrigerator almost like I’m not here. Since that night he treats me like a piece of furniture or something.

“I’m here,” he says casually.

“Are you?” I ask him, looking into his eyes. I wave a hand in front of him and he just steps around me and heads back to his seat in front of the television with his soda in hand. I shake my head and laugh at myself.

“Helen I’m not going to talk to you. You can go ahead and leave whenever you’re ready,” he says in that same indifferent tone that is making me want to scream.

“I’d like for her stay,” I say, annoyed.

“Whatever,” he says and takes a swig of his drink. He then sits next to Caylen on the floor and starts playing with her and her blocks.

“Lauren, I need to be going but I’m going to run and grab something from my car I have for you first,” she says getting up and walking to the door.

“Do you want me to come with you?” I ask her with a sigh.

“No it’ll only take a minute,” she says before leaving. I sit down back on the couch my arms folded as I watch him live in a world that no one else is a part of. That he won’t let me be a part of. At least he interacts with Caylen.

“I wish that you would talk to me,” I say aloud.

“I do talk to you,” he answers promptly. Which he makes sure to do, but he only answers when I ask him something, it’s like trying to bounce a stone off a brick wall.

“You respond to me. You don’t talk.”

“I didn’t know there was a difference,” he says, his attention on the wall he’s building with the little blocks Caylen plays with. He has enough walls up, if she wasn’t over there I’d go and kick it down. I’ve tried being patient, understanding and meek but I am at the end of my freakin’ rope with him. He can’t think that I’m going to live like this, with a robot, that’s what he’s acting like. He gets up he showers, eats, cooks, plays with Caylen, watches TV and plays his guitar, which he won’t even play in front of me. He goes in the guest room and plays and plays. He goes to sleep in the same bed with me but he doesn’t touch me, we’re in a humongous king bed but we might has well have those little twins they show on the old TV shows—that's how far apart we are. I could live with Chris, I could live with Cal but whoever this is, I can’t do this. I thought Helen could help, but how can she help if he refuses to talk to her. A few minutes later my phone vibrates. Helen says to meet her down at the café.

“I’ll be back,” I tell him, grabbing my keys.

“Yup,” is his only response, he doesn’t even look up at me. It’s not unexpected but still makes me want to scream. When I make it down to the lobby café, Helen is standing outside of it.

“You see what I’m talking about?” I say when I reach her.

“I do. It’s not completely unexpected with everything that’s happened. He doesn’t talk to you at all?” she asks.

“About as much as you saw up there. He’s shut me out completely,” I shrug, trying to not show how much it hurts me.