chapter 17
Lauren
We left the day after the bomb was dropped. Mrs. Scott left before us, headed to her sister’s. She’s not sure what she’s ultimately going to do but she says she can’t stay in that house with Mr. Scott any longer. We offered for her to come to Chicago with us whenever she wants. She says she would take us up on the offer. Well, it wasn’t really us that made the offer to be honest, it was me.
Chris.
I don’t even feel right calling him Chris anymore, because he’s different. That night he found out everything from Lisa he was so angry and acted completely out of character but I’d prefer that to whoever he is now. He’s withdrawn, quiet and moody.
Just a shell of himself.
When I heard Lisa’s secret I knew things were about to get bad, but the moment the words left his mouth, that he has a little sister, there are no words for that. I knew it was going to be an uphill battle when we were already stationed so far underground, but it's how he’s been acting that I didn’t expect. We’ve been in Chicago for three weeks and he hasn’t cried, he doesn’t laugh, he barely speaks. He’s like a droid drained of any personality whatsoever. The only time I see a hint of himself is when he plays with Caylen. I see a flicker of joy, a moment of happiness every now and then, but besides that, nothing. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, not even his mom. She calls every day to check on him and he just sits on the phone giving one or two word answers. Everyone else he’s shut out completely.
It’s expected that he won’t speak to his dad or Lisa. They both call several times a day. Not together, well as far as I know. I told his dad he needs time. Probably a whole of time. Lisa, well I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t think that’s a relationship that’s ever going to be the way it was. He won’t even speak to Aidan either, he barely speaks to me. The only familiar thing he does is play his guitar, and he stays on my iPad, which is little strange since he’s never really been into electronics. Every single day for hours and it’s beyond annoying.
“He’s been like a zombie and I have no idea what to do. I can’t tell him I know how he feels, that everything will be okay. His dad cheated on his mother with his best friend who she has a secret child by. Is that something you can get over? His family is destroyed. Now when I look at him I don’t see Chris or Cal,” I tell Helen. She’s been out of town since I arrived back in Chicago and it feels so good to be able to talk to her now.
“…and this may sound crazy, but whenever I leave the house I get this weird feeling that I’m being followed,” I tell her, laughing at the absurdity of it. “I think I may be starting to lose my mind,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee from the bistro in our building lobby.
“You’re not going crazy, Lauren. You have been under a lot of pressure and I commend you for holding up so well,” she says, squeezing my hand.
“What’s wrong with him? If Cal is his alter and helps him when these things happen, where is he?” I ask frantically.
“I believe that Christopher has shut himself down emotionally. He has dissociated himself from reality entirely. He’s locked Cal out. This is what I say when I mean that Cal and Chris are one. Even when Cal isn’t at the forefront of his conscious state he is always with Chris subconsciously. There cannot be a Chris without Cal, Cal without Chris. They both make up the man that you know and love,” she explains and I let out a deep breath.
“So what do we do? How do we fix them? He can’t be like this forever can he?” I ask anxiously.
“I need to see how far gone he is,” she replies.
“He told me he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone,” I tell her.
“If he’s not exhibiting any emotions then he won't exhibit anger, annoyance or frustration,” Helen retorts.
*
When we walk in, Chris barely glances up us. His eyes remain on the TV that’s been stationed on Nick Jr. since I left.
“Hey babe,” I say cheerfully. He doesn’t say anything, as per usual, only slightly nodding.
“Christopher, it’s so good to see you,” Helen says enthusiastically. When he doesn’t reply she picks up Caylen.
“Hi beautiful. I’ve missed you so,” she squats, kissing Caylen on the cheek.
“She looks so much like you, Christopher,” Helen says standing in front of him. He doesn’t say anything.
“I am sorry about what happened with your parents,” she offers, sitting next to him. He glances over at me before staring back at the television.