“Really, Cal?!” I shout at him. I can’t believe he just said that. Well, actually, I can believe it but oh my God!
“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. The pussy grew a dick—a scientific anomaly.” He winks at me.
“Hang up the phone,” I say tightly, walking over to him. He backs away from me.
“I didn’t have anything to do with it. It was all him, trust me,” he continues, dodging my attempt to snatch the phone away from him. “If it makes you feel any better. I plan on fucking him right out of her memory,” he says with a wink.
“You are such an asshole!” I shout at him. Jenna’s not one of my favorite people. She’s actually my least favorite person but she deserves to hear about Chris's absence a helluva lot better than that.
“I’m the asshole? I’m not the one who screwed her fiancé,” he chuckles.
“Do you hear yourself?” I say angrily. “You’re mad at me because I slept with you? I let you touch me, your hands, your lips. You don’t trust me because of that?” I laugh hysterically and his face hardens.
“I don’t trust you because you turned on me!”
“Turned on you?” I ask in disbelief.
“You weren’t supposed to give up on us, remember?” he says bitterly.
“You told me you’d never look at me like I was the villain,” he continues, walking towards me.
“I’ve never looked at you like that!”
“How do you think you’re looking at me right now?” The quietness is eerie. For a second, I see vulnerability in his eyes. This man hides behind his arrogance, his cockiness, the hard façade. I have to remind myself this unbreakable man I’ve come to think of as Cal, isn’t right. He has a mental illness. He is broken, more broken than I’ve ever been and it’s entirely possible that he, in fact, sees what I did as a legitimate act of betrayal. I let out a sigh and lean on counter nearby.
“Are we going to be able to get past this? Are you going to hate me forever and never trust me again? Is this it for us?” I ask him sincerely.
He looks away from me. “I’m going to go get some groceries. Maybe you can make use of some of those cooking lessons you’ve been taking,” he says before leaving out the door. How much does he remember? Is it everything? How does he know all and Chris knows nothing except what Cal wants him to?
chapter 5
April 30, 2008
I don’t go on dates.
I haven’t had to since I’ve been here. I like to have fun. I like things to be easy and I usually like my girls like that. Uncomplicated. Girls I can see through. This girl’s different. I’m not sure if I like it or not but I guess I do because I’m here with her. It’s the first time I’ve been around a girl that doesn’t look like she dressed up for me—that she tried at least. She’s still gorgeous; I don’t think she couldn’t be if she tried. I haven’t been around a girl in a long time who didn’t have on a skirt that barely covered her ass, with tits on high alert. Even dressed how she is, she’s one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. In the club, she looked different. There, she was playing dress up. This, I think, is the girl behind the mask. Or maybe I’m wrong. I’m pretty good at reading people but I read her wrong when I first saw her.
Something about her scares me. She seems innocent, breakable, and that terrifies the fuck out of me. I’m used to dealing with girls that have already been fucked up so it’s not on me. I hope I’m not screwing myself in this. I’m just going to make up for throwing her into the disaster I put her smack in the middle of. That’s it. She’ll feel better, I’ll feel better, and we can both move on. If only she didn’t look at me with those wide hazel eyes and that innocent smile. Fuck, I hope she’s not a virgin. Nah, she can’t be. I couldn’t see that douchebag she was with dealing with waiting on a virgin.
“Uhm, where are we going, Cal,” she asks nervously as we make our way to the bridge. I try to cover the wide smile growing on my face. Getting her on the back of my bike was difficult. When I tell her what we’re doing here, she might freak the hell out. I stop and turn to face her and take her hands. Her eyes widen and I ignore how my heart speeds up. She lets out a little sigh. I force my eyes away from her lips.
They’re perfect and begging me to kiss them. “How open-minded are you?” I ask her, closing the distance between us.
She looks at me skeptically. “You’re not taking me to a giant wilderness orgy are you?” she jokes. Huh, she’s funny.