His jaw twitched as they mulled over their choices. After a minute and a deep sigh of resignation, he jerked his head in agreement. “I’m in. Let them have their fun while we keep a close tab.”
“We could teach them a lesson,” Max threw out.
“Have no doubt; Jenn’s ass will become intimately familiar with my hand once we’re home.”
“That goes without sayin’,” Max grunted, “but I was thinkin’ more along the lines of scarin’ the shit out of them.”
A slow grin pulled across Shane’s mouth. “I’m listenin’.”
“They’re lookin’ for a ghost, right?” Max grinned. “I suggest they find one . . .”
***
With the cemetery searched and hazards pointed out to an incensed Mia, we headed back to town for dinner. Jenn pulled up in front of a steakhouse called Lumberjacks. It was rustic, log-framed, as one would expect, and had matching carved Lumberjacks flanking the door dressed in black and red-checkered flannel shirts. Mia stopped in front of one and inspected it.
“They got the height right, but he isn’t near as handsome as Max,” she giggled.
“Wait until you taste the steak,” Jenn said as she pulled open the door. “Melts in your mouth.”
When we entered, we immediately ducked. The waiters were throwing rolls to the diners, and one had gone wide, hitting the wall behind us.
“It’s a war zone,” I laughed.
A man with a nametag that read Frank came bounding over when he saw us, smiling brightly.
“So happy to see you, Mrs. Gunnison,” he beamed. “Is it just the four of you or will the Sheriff be joining you?”
“Frank, this is Jack’s Aunt Maxine and her daughter-in-law Mia. And this is Sage Sloan, a friend of the family. It will just be the four of us this evening; Jack is working.”
Grabbing menus from the hostess station, Frank led us to a booth and we settled in.
“I’m starving,” Mia stated.
“I hope you’re starvin’ cause you’re carryin’ my grandchild,” Maxine mumbled, eyeing Mia with a caustic look.
“Give me a break, Maxine. I’ve barely settled into Max’s cabin.”
“Are you planning a family so soon after marrying?” I asked as I looked over the menu.
“She’s not ready,” Jenn replied without lifting her head.
“How do you know I’m not ready?”
“You sat in jelly at the kitchen table and had to change your clothes.”
“I’m confused. How does that tell you I’m not ready for kids?”
“Because a mother would have wiped the jelly of with a wet paper towel, not changed her whole outfit.”
“Yes, but that was my favorite bear t-shirt and faded Levi’s. You can’t get jeans like that without scouring thrift stores. I didn’t want them to stain.”
“Exactly. When you’re dealin’ with kids, you let go of what’s important and wear stained clothes.”
“The clothes are the easy part,” Maxine jumped in. “It’s never having sex again without interruption that’s the real hurdle.”
“Quietly when you do get the chance,” Jenn laughed.
I was giggling as I listened, still scanning the menu, when I noticed the table went quiet. When I looked up, all eyes were on me. “Don’t look at me; I’ve only been with Shane a few days. I’m not ready for kids.”
“Good thing, too. She’ll need to practice bein’ quiet,” Maxine chuckled.
I gasped then hid my face in the menu. Blood rushed to my cheeks and my face burned with embarrassment, but instead of laughing at my discomfort, they started throwing out advice.
“Practice walking across nails or something equally sharp without crying out, and you’ll have it mastered. In a pinch, though, you can always turn on the TV really loud to cover your moans.”
“Um, okay. Why nails?” I asked.
“Legos. Men must have invented them to torture their wives. They end up everywhere, and you’ll walk on them in the dead of night. If you can do that without waking up your kids, you’re a pro.”
“I’m having second thoughts,” Mia mumbled.
“Well, have third and fourth thoughts and then get to multiplyin’ like the Good Book says,” Maxine insisted. “I’m not gettin’ any younger.”
“Please, you’re the youngest one at this table,” Jenn scoffed.
Maxine grinned and nodded.
“I am. Age is just a number, not a guideline for how you should act. Each one of you possesses the same spirit; it’s also what attracted your men to you. You have a zest for life that keeps them from gettin’ bored, keeps their attention on you and away from all others.”