a reason to live(63)

Sage was prepared to enter her raft, so he moved toward her and grabbed her by the arm. He wanted to make sure she was clear about the conditions they were getting ready to battle.

“You remember everything I taught you?”

“Yeah.” Her eyes were round, flecked with fear as she watched the water rushing past.

“Babe, this river is runnin’ so fuckin’ fast everything I taught you flies out the window. If you go over, turn on your back, tuck your knees to your chest, and keep your eyes on me.”

“This is a grade five rapid, isn’t it?”

“This is grade heaven and hell,” he answered. “Heaven because your blood races with the speed of the water. And when you make it to the end, it’s like the best orgasm you’ve had in your life. Hell because if you don’t know what the fuck you’re doin’, it can send you straight there.”

He didn’t think it was possible for her eyes to grow wider, but there it was. She looked spooked. So spooked that if he’d had access to a truck, he’d haul her ass back to town.

“Eyes on me, Sage. If you go overboard, keep your eyes on me, and I swear to Christ, I’ll get to you.”

Sage nodded she understood, but she hesitated to get on the raft. Shane took the opportunity to check her PFD and helmet while she gathered her composure.

“Gregor’s as good a guide as I’ve seen. You’re in expert hands with him. Just follow his instructions and you’ll be fine.”

“Right,” she mumbled. “I can do this. I’ll be fine.”

“That’s my girl,” he praised before he could stop himself.

Sage stiffened and looked away.

He’d wanted to push her away so he could breathe, but he’d gone too far, got caught up in the emotions swirling around in his brain. Now sadness clouded her expression, and it burned his gut he’d been the one to put the look on her face.

“Time to leave,” Gregor called out, saving Shane from having to cover for the slip. Sage turned immediately and climbed into his raft, securing her feet under the thwarts.

“I’ll keep your girl safe,” Gregor said as Shane turned to leave.

“She’s not my girl.” The word liar ran through his head, and he locked his jaw.

“And Mia ain’t the clumsiest woman in the world. We can argue the point all day long if need be, but it doesn’t make it not true,” Gregor hooted, slapping Shane on the shoulder before he headed for his kayak.

Shane looked back at Sage to see if she was listening and found her back was turned to him. The day before, she’d smiled and interacted whenever possible, now she had a wall up. It didn’t sit well with him, but it’s what he’d wanted. At least, he kept telling himself it was.

“It’s for the best,” he mumbled as he shoved off the bank and entered his kayak.

Gregor took the lead again, directing the rafts down the meat of the hole as they picked up speed. Shane had his throw bag—a weighted bag with a length of rope used to rescue a rafter—at the ready. He knew today would be an exhausting exercise in rescue and recovery.

The gear boat finally headed through the hole and Shane followed. The river was fast, too fast. His kayak jarred him with each wave he hit, throwing water in his face, restricting his visibility, and jarring his teeth.

They made it a quarter of a mile before their first mishap. Raft 2 didn’t follow Gregor through a hole correctly, they hit it river right and were caught in an eddy. He heard Jared call high side, but the hydraulics upended the raft and spit the rafters out. Jared held his position at the rudder and rode the vortex until it let go of the raft, then began maneuvering toward the fast moving rafters. Shane made his way to a rafter and tossed out his throw bag, then held on as Jared made his way over to him. He repeated this four more times until all were back safely in the raft heading down the river to where Gregor had paused to wait for them.

Rinse, repeat and do again. That’s how Shane spent his morning.

They made it to the designated take-out point, and Joel was waiting as he’d done the day before. When Gregor banked the raft, Joel extended his hand to Sage.

“The man has a death wish,” Shane grumbled as he pulled his kayak from the water. Then he remembered he had no right to be jealous. And had to keep reminding himself as he watched Joel interact with Sage as he secured his kayak.

“Let her be,” he said under his breath. “Get used to seeing this." As much as he wanted her, he wanted to protect her from his demons more. That meant letting her go. Unfortunately for Shane and his vow to step aside, Joel decided to reach out and smooth her hair out her face. Sage balked, and Shane reacted immediately. He strode with purpose and grabbed hold of Joel’s arm, escorting him to the trail that led back to his truck.