a reason to live(59)

“What?”

“I said, that looks like a bear print,” she explained, and he followed her outstretched arm until he saw what she was pointing to.

“Grizzly,” he answered, staring down at the claw marks. It was a print he knew well. Booboo had broken one of his claws trying to break into Max’s house, so he left a unique pattern in the dirt.

“Do you have your bear spray?”

“Don’t need it. That bear’s a pain in the ass, but he’s harmless.”

“How do you know?” she asked wide-eyed.

“It’s one of Max and Mia’s pets. We’re on the outskirts of Max’s land, and Booboo is king in these parts.”

“Do you think he’s still around?’ she asked, excited, looking deeper into the forest.

Shane scanned the forest and then whistled three short bursts. It was the call he used when he wanted the bear to know he had come to feed him.

“Does he come when you call?”

“If he’s around, he’ll come thinking I have food,” he explained.

Shane kept watch for Booboo as she continued to gather wood. With the last branch she placed in his arms, he noticed for the first time that the pinky finger on her right hand was slightly crooked.

“What happened to your finger?”

Sage glanced at her hand then looked away.

He knew instinctively it was from the abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, and he seethed, “That bastard did it, didn’t he?”

She looked off into the distance, no doubt remembering the abuse, then she turned back to him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago and I’ve moved on.”

“Yeah, but you have to look at the evidence of what that bastard did to you every time you see your hand.”

“True, but I still moved on. I have moments where I beat myself up for not trying harder, as you well know, but it doesn’t control me.”

“You don’t move on from something like that. You learn to cope, try to forget, but it’s always with you,” he argued.

“You don’t ever forget, Shane. But you do learn to move on. It was out of my control, what happened. Even when I smarted off knowing it might incite his anger, I wasn’t responsible. Simple as that.”

Her words slammed into his chest, into that place he kept his guilt buried. He opened his mouth to argue, to defend why he was right, but he couldn’t come up with a solid rebuttal.

“We need to get back.” Shane started toward the camp, still trying to find an argument that held water.

He could hear Sage following as she snapped twigs under her feet, so he kept moving. He needed space from her, from the feelings she provoked.

They were fifty yards from the river when a grunting sound reached his ears and he stopped. Turning to the left, he peered into the forest and found what he was looking for.

“Get your ass out here, you overgrown fleabag.”

Sage turned her head and squinted into the gloom, so Shane dropped the wood they’d gathered and pointed.

Booboo was big for his age and would be huge like his father when he was full-grown. His dark brown coat was tipped with a lighter beige that glistened when the sun was out, giving him the grizzled appearance brown bears were known for.

His powerful legs lumbered slowly as he made his way toward them. Shane pulled a protein bar from his front pack, opened it, and held it up for the three-year-old bear to see. He sniffed the air then picked up his pace, running toward them. Sage stepped behind Shane, peering around his back as Booboo came to a stop in front of them and grunted. Shane put out his hand to pet the bear, but Booboo decided it was time to play. He reared up on his hind legs and batted Shane down to the ground. Shane laughed, wrestling with the cub.

“At least you don’t stink anymore,” Shane gruffed.

Sage looked stunned as she watched them act like a couple of kids wrestling on the playground. When Booboo licked his face, he noted she finally relaxed and giggled. Standing, Shane reached out his hand. “Come say hi.”

“Hey there, big guy,” she cooed, moving forward cautiously.

Booboo turned his head, sniffed her outstretched hand, and licked her fingers. Her breath hitched at the contact and she smiled, her eyes shining brightly in amusement. Shane watched her carefully as she ran her hand through Booboo’s fur. Her mouth was open in amazement as she took in the three-hundred-pound bear. When she turned to Shane and smiled, her pale-green eyes radiated laughter. Her calm and open nature, lust for life, and fresh-faced beauty captivated him like nothing had in his life, and he felt his defenses weaken.

He continued to watch her silently as she tried to feed the cub. When Booboo snatched the protein bar from her hand, she threw her head back and laughed with abandon for the first time since he’d met her. The husky quality of her voice punched him in his chest as she turned and locked eyes with his. He looked deeply into those green pools for the first time since they’d met. So deeply, he saw an alternate future than the one he’d envisioned, and the ground beneath him shifted, then tilted on its axis.