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a reason to live(49)



“Keep fighting; I have no choice. I owe him that much for taking care of Emma Jane. Even if the only thing that happens is he forgives himself. That would be good enough for me.”

“That’ll be interesting to watch. How did he react this morning?”

“He could barely look at me. Said he had to let me go or he’d hurt me. So I told him I was fine and left.”

“Oh, Lord,” Maxine chuckled shaking her head.

“Oh, Lord, what? I was trying to give him space, show him I was strong enough to sleep with him one time and still get on with my life. Was I wrong?”

“No, not wrong, but you won’t have to wait long to interact with him. He’ll find you.”

“Because I said I was okay?”

“Yep. ‘I’m fine’ is code for ‘I’m not fine.’ Shane knows this better than anyone does. He’ll hunt you down before the day is done.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Make him coffee, maybe breakfast. Talk on your phone before you left to show him you have a life and can survive without him. That you’re a strong enough woman to sleep with a man, make him breakfast in the morning with no strings attached, and then walk away without regret.”

“Jesus, I’m gonna screw this up without even trying. I can counsel kids through horrific circumstances, but I can’t even manage my own life. You have to help me, Maxine. I’ve had one relationship and a handful of ugly dates. I know nothing about matters of the heart. Can you write the rules down somewhere so I don’t cut myself off at the knees?”

“Not showing you were upset should have been obvious,” she pointed out.

“Well, yeah, in the light of a new day and coffee in my system, it’s crystal-clear. But I had to make a quick decision, so I went with my gut like you said.”

“Send him a text,” Mia shouted. “Tell him not to worry, that you’re fine. Say you were meeting me to see the bears and you had to run off quickly this morning.”

I looked at Maxine to see what she thought. “Is lying to make him feel better on the list of dos and don’ts?”

“Mia, I think it’s time for a list.”

“No, Maxine. No list. Your list had my head spinning. She needs to be true to herself or it won’t work with Shane. Just come with me to see the bears and then you’re not lying or playing games. If he comes looking for you, he’ll find you right where you said you would be.”

“But isn’t pretending to be fine when I’m crying inside playing games?”

“Will you survive Shane if he never changes his mind?”

“Of course.”

“Then it’s not a lie, therefore, not playing games.”

Mia scoffed down the line and I grinned.

“Why do I get the feeling that with you, the difference between playing games and not is what side of the bed you wake up on?”

Maxine threw her head back and laughed. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and winked.





Seven


The Barbie Twins





The Tom Hunter Nature Preserve sat directly on Max and Mia’s property. In an attempt to keep her in Trails End and keep trigger-happy hunters from shooting the bears, Mia told me Max had designated a portion of his land as a nature preserve. Now the bears had an environment where they could raise their young without fear of hunters or loss of habitat due to Max’s logging. After our heart-to-heart, I’d met Mia at her cabin, and we drove to the preserve so she could document the bears and see how Nala’s new cub was growing. When we arrived, I expected her to stay in the Jeep like she’d told Maxine, but she promptly got out and sat on her hood with binoculars. I followed as any friend would, of course, but with bear spray in hand. Maxine had slipped the spray into my hand on my way out the door, so it was obvious to me she knows her daughter-in-law well.

“I thought you said you were staying in the Jeep?” I questioned as I climbed up next to her.

“I just said that to get Maxine off my back. I admit to having vertical issues, but I’ve overcome a lot of them since moving here. What Maxine, or Max for that matter, doesn’t know won’t—”

I raised the can of bear spray and shook it.

“Maxine?”

“I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think you’re fooling anyone.”

Mia rolled her eyes and picked up her pen and paper, resting them on her lap. “Figures,” she mumbled, raising the binoculars to her eyes with her other hand.

I scanned the meadow for any sign of the bears then remembered Maxine talking about one called Cowboy.

“Did you find a mate for Cowboy yet?”