a reason to live(45)

Turning for the door, determined to fall into bed and end this day, he stopped and turned when he heard a vehicle pulling into his drive. Rising to his full height when he saw who was driving, he planted his feet shoulder-width apart to steady himself, to prepare for the battle.

Sage climbed out of her Jeep slowly, tugging at her sweater so her cleavage was less revealing, but it only brought unneeded attention to her ample breasts. She stepped hesitantly toward him, fiddling with her hair as she approached, and he wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you,” she explained when she reached the stairs. “There’s been enough arguing to last a lifetime.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To say I’m sorry.”

Sage climbed the steps, and he stood his ground, but the closer she came, the faster his heart raced.

“I don’t want or need an apology from you,” Shane replied, fisting his hands to keep in control.

“Well, you’re gonna get one whether you want one or not.”

She was standing less than a foot from him, and he could smell her hair.

“What the fuck do you wash your hair with?”

“Pardon?”

He shook his head to clear it.

“Nothin’. Just say what you have to say, and then leave.”

“All right.” Sage nodded. She looked around for a moment, fidgeting with the bottom of her sweater, then she licked her lips and began. “I was . . . I was unfair today. I accused you of being a coward and that’s not true. Not by a long shot. The truth is, I’m the coward, and I transferred it to you. I spent too many years afraid for one reason or another and didn’t fight hard enough because I was scared. I should have known better than anyone how you felt, but I ignored it, ignored what I knew to be true for my own selfish reasons. You blame yourself for Emma Jane’s death just as I blame myself for not protecting her. I haven’t moved past how weak I was, so it’s wrong of me to expect you to change how you feel just because I want you to.”

“You weren’t at fault for what that bastard did. That’s the difference between you and me,” Shane bit out, “I was.”

Her face paled when she realized he knew about her past abuse, and the urge to hold her was as basic an instinct as breathing. He resisted at first, but when a tear trailed down her face and she tried to wipe it away, Shane grumbled, “Fuck,” and reached out, pulling her to him. “That bastard shouldn’t have laid a hand on you,” he rumbled low, his hand coming up to cup her face.

“How did you know?”

“Chester told me,” he answered, wiping the tears away with his thumb as they trailed down her face.

“I should have been stronger. Should have tried harder to find help.”

Shane couldn’t pry his attention from her lips. The memory of the kiss they shared earlier replayed in his mind, and he found his head dipping closer to hers.

“You were a kid, baby. It wasn’t your fault,” he answered, lowering his mouth even further. When she licked her lips, inviting him to taste, he whispered, “I’m no good for you, Sage,” then he brushed his mouth across hers. “You need to leave before I hurt you. You deserve a man who can give you everything. Who will make you his whole world.”

“What if I don’t want to leave? What if I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give?”

Raising his head, he scanned her face, looking for the lie. All he saw was the truth. His need for her was eclipsing his control, and he answered without thinking, “I can only offer you tonight.”

Sage raised her hands to his face, running her fingers whisper-soft across his cheeks.

Jesus.

It would kill him to let her go, but he had no choice. She deserved a man who wasn’t broken.

“I’m tired of being alone; tired of being afraid. If one night is all you can offer, then I’ll take it.”

Need, hot and wild, surged violently, and his blood rushed from his head to his cock. Shane stopped breathing until his lungs demanded he take one. Taking three deep breaths to stop his urge to claim her, hoping they’d both step back from the edge of their desire if he didn’t react, he lost the battle when she leaned forward and nipped his bottom lip.

Hissing, Shane spun Sage around and pinned her against his door, raising her hands above her head. He pressed his face against the side of hers, cheek-to-cheek, and inhaled, memorizing her scent.

“I can’t get you out of my head. I’ve tried, but I want you so fuckin’ much I’m burnin’ with the need to claim you.”

Blindly reaching for the doorknob, afraid to lose their connection, he turned it, kicking the door open as he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He made his way to his bedroom and put a knee to the bed, dropping Sage on her back. Reaching over his head, he pulled the shirt from his body, never taking his attention off her. She sat up as he dropped his shirt and reached out, running her hands down his chest to his stomach, leaning in to brush her mouth across his nipple, and his head fell back. She lowered her mouth, trailing kisses as she burned her way further down his body, and he hissed.