All the feelings I’d been holding on to that day came crashing through my system at once and I spit out, “Don’t do me any favors, Shane. I don’t want your pity any more than you want mine.”
He spun around at my outburst before he could check himself, and I saw his emotions mirrored my own.
Vulnerability.
Fear.
Desire.
They all swirled at the same time.
Without thinking, just acting on instinct, I stepped toward him and whispered, “Shane.” He didn’t move away, so I took another step forward. I could feel my mouth run dry as my heart began to race, so I licked my lips. Shane’s attention dropped to my mouth, and I could see the naked heat reflected in them. Feeling emboldened by his smoky depths, I opened my mouth to ask if he wanted to get a drink sometime, but he stepped back, cutting off my question.
“Get on home now and change,” he ordered.
The hope which burned bright an instant before, crashed at his dismissal. I nodded reluctantly and stepped back, hurt and disappointed. I knew when I decided to stay, my presence might be an issue, but I’d prayed I was wrong. The counselor in me knew not to push him, but the woman in me ached to try—especially after the laid-back fun we’d had on the river.
“Later,” he rumbled low, then turned and headed for his truck.
Feeling rejected, I headed to my Jeep and climbed in. I pulled out and watched from my rearview as he followed. When we reached the main road, he turned one way and I turned the other. It felt like a metaphor for our relationship or lack thereof. We were like magnets as our opposite forces pushed away from each other. He was the North Pole and I was the South, and Emma lay in between as we pushed and pulled at each other.
Still hurt by his rejection, I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear fell onto my lips.
I headed to Maxine’s to shower and change. When I arrived, there was another Jeep in the drive. As I entered the cabin, I could smell chocolate in the air, so I headed toward the kitchen. I found Mia stirring a large pot on the stove as Maxine was placing what looked like chocolate suckers onto wax paper. Maxine turned as I entered and smiled, picking up one of the suckers and thrusting out her hand.
“Cock-o-late?” she asked. My eyes grew wide as I stared back at a spotted white chocolate penis.
“I’m afraid to ask,” I answered as I took the cock shaped sucker.
“Cookies and cream flavor,” was her reply.
“Yes, I can see that. But why?”
“They’re party favors,” Mia said over her shoulder.
“Okaaay . . .”
“Maxine and Martha sell sex toys and have monthly parties. You came to town at the right time, she has one tonight.”
My mouth dropped open . . . “That explains the catalogs.”
“Mia helps me out, and since you’re here now, you can too. I’ve got a new line of lingerie I want you and Mia to model for me tonight at the party.”
“Model for whom,” I squeaked out.
“My party guests, who else?”
“Maxine, I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable—”
“Pish posh, sure you can. It’s just a bunch of women,” she explained then grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the kitchen toward the bedrooms. “I put the samples on your bed. I want you to try them on for me so I can see what they look like.”
“But I have to take a shower and go grocery shopping for Gregor.”
“Speaking of Gregor, how did it go with Shane this morning?”
“Fine. He taught me the right way to row and float.”
“That’s it?”
“Should there have been more?”
“A hell of a lot more if he would pull his head out,” she groused. “Is he takin’ you out again?”
“He didn’t say.”
“He didn’t say?”
“No.”
“That man,” she huffed. “Take a shower and I’ll call him.”
“Why are you gonna call him?”
“I’d rather kick his ass,” she mumbled, “but I’ll call him. You need more time with him, uh, more time on the water, I mean.”
“I can practice on my own, there’s no need to bother . . . Wait, why do you want to kick his ass?”
“Cause he’s worse than Max.” She sighed dramatically then turned and marched down the hall.
Worse than Max about what?
I swear every conversation I had with that woman, I felt like we were talking about two different things.
***
Pulling backward into a parking spot, Shane watched a car drive down Main Street and pull into the ever-growing yards of vehicles that had turned out for the carnival. He was parked across from Gregor’s office, debating his sanity. Being in Sage’s company had left him on edge and he wasn’t thinking straight. In the course of a few short hours, he was debating his decision to keep her at arm’s length. Their attraction to each other was strong. She tempted him at the most primitive level. Brought out his protective instincts at a frightening rate. However, in the long haul, he was sure the elephant in the room would eventually destroy whatever feelings developed.