Zombie Field Day(3)

“So here’s what you have to read.” Leo handed Chad a sheet of paper. “But first we have to get Principal VanSchlossen’s permission.”

“I’ll win him over with a sick armpit fart.” Chad pumped his hand inside his T-shirt to demonstrate.

“This is serious, Chad. Principal V barely ever lets kids do morning announcements.”

“But nobody can resist the charms of The Chad. Check it out.” Chad held out the paper and read aloud in his deepest voice:

“Fellow Students and Staff of Rotfield Middle School: You may be in serious danger. A zombie virus is likely spreading within our school walls. Do not panic! The source is yet to be known. In the meantime, protect yourself by following the Three-Point Zombie Code of Conduct.

“Rule #1: Do not touch anyone. No hugs, no high fives, no tagging, nothing.

“Rule #2: Do not make loud noises. This could trigger a zombie attack.

“Rule #3: Do not eat strange food. This includes school food.

“Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Stay tuned for updates from your zombie research team, Leo Wiley and Chad Romero.”

“Perfect!” Leo said. “Now comes the hard part.”

“No prob,” Chad said. He was already leading the way to the principal’s office. Leo could suddenly feel his intestines squeezing the ham sandwich he’d had for lunch.

Principal V’s door had a smoky white glass window. In an arc across the top of the window were gold capital letters that said, “EVIL GENIUS AT WORK.”

“Ooooh,” Leo groaned. He leaned against the wall and hugged his stomach.

“It’s just a joke,” Chad said. He stood on his toes to peek through the window. “He’s at his desk.” And before Leo could get more nervous, Chad was pounding on the glass.

The door creaked open slightly. “Who goes there?” The principal had clearly been in the middle of something. He glared down at them through tiny square glasses on the tip of his nose. A black rubber band kept the glasses on tight. It stretched around his fluffy ball of hair and dented the middle so his head looked like a fuzzy gray mushroom. He was wearing spotless white gloves. White cloths hung from his belt like a hula skirt.

“What do you want?” He spat a fine mist that sparkled on Chad’s curly brown hair.

Chad began, “Sir, we’re here because—”

“How dare you interrupt me when I am doing my work?” the principal said with a huffy breath. After a moment, he opened the door wide with one foot and waved them gruffly into his office.

“Whoa,” Leo said. Every wall was lined with narrow shelves from top to bottom. Each shelf held a long row of perfectly spaced pointy objects. And under each object was a number.

“What are those?” Chad whispered to Leo. He thought he could make out a white horse—a unicorn?—with the number 632 below it. Next to it was—another unicorn? This one had pink hooves. Leo’s eyes skipped across the room. Number 32 was, yes, a unicorn—a clear glass one. Next to it was another glass one with a purple horn.

“Obviously,” Principal V fake smiled down at them, flashing perfectly white teeth, “I’m far too busy to entertain right now. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of dusting the 700s shelf of my miniature unicorn collection?”

“Of course, sir. This will just take one minute.” Chad fluttered the paper he was holding. “We’d like to show you our important announcement—”

“What part of busy don’t you understand?” Principal V hissed, his pink tongue flicking behind his teeth.

“It’s just that, sir, it’s very important—”

Principal V leaned down and peered straight into Chad’s eyes. “What. Is. Your. Name.” It was a threat more than a question.

Chad coughed into one hand and took one tiny step backward. For the first time Leo could remember, he saw Chad unsure of what to say.

And just like that, anger swirled inside Leo. It scraped away his queasy fear. He pushed in front of Chad and looked straight into the principal’s small, mud-colored eyes.

“I’m Leo Wiley,” he shouted. “And we’re trying to save the school from a zombie attack!”

“Ahhh-haaa-haaa-ha-haaaa.” Principal V’s laugh came out in hot, sour blasts. Leo blinked as each one hit his face, but he did not step back.

“Yeah, that’s right, zombies!” Chad had recovered from his speechless moment and slung an arm around Leo’s shoulder as if for protection.

Principal V stood up to his full height. He smoothed the ring of cloths around his belt. “That’s ridiculous,” he snarled. “Now get out.” He whipped out a cloth and snapped it in the boys’ general direction. And with a blast of air, the door slammed in their faces.