Evan parted from his thoughts. The corners of his mouth lifted in a joyless smile. “‘Penny for your thoughts’.”
The Queen nodded. She leaned forward in her seat and rested her chin in her palm. Her eyes searched him quizzically. “You’re not here with me, Evander. Where are you?”
His hand went automatically for his hair, bringing back unruly tufts with his fingers. He had so many questions and no idea where to direct them. He could talk to Thea first and ask her about Zoe, tell her he found her on Earth, but what would that do? No matter what information he gave to her, her life was a certainty. She stole from the Queen and aided in kidnapping the King. Her life was over, and it was only a matter of time before she was eliminated by order of the Queen.
The book! The book had the answers he was looking for and so much more. He saw the chart himself; the Thanatos name printed in the ancient texts. There must have been a record of Zoe somewhere in there. If only he had thought to look before handing it over to the Queen.
His thoughts were interrupted again by her hands on his shoulders. Her palms spread out wide, fingertips extending out over the width of his shoulder, cupping the muscle in her hands with great care.
“Where do you go when your thoughts take you away?” she whispered in his ear. His eyes closed at the sound, her voice a soft purr that had whispered many things to him when they were alone.
“I’m sorry, Your Highness. I’m just preoccupied.”
“Things will be taken care of, Evander. You have nothing to worry about.” She rubbed his shoulders gently, relaxing the nerves and tendons beneath his skin. Her hands moved to his neck, circling around them as she moved to his front. Without much effort she straddled him in his seat, keeping her body close to his as her hands moved up and down his neck from his hairline to the collar of his shirt.
Evan’s arms move autonomously to her waist, holding her protectively. In his arms she looked like the Kyra he had come to know in private, the side of the Queen she kept hidden from the rest of the world.
“You’ll see,” she declared. She brushed her hand across his head, pushing locks of hair off his forehead. “Everything will go back to the way it was.”
He took in her dark eyes, the shape reminding him of Zoe again. The similarities were unsettling. Surely, it was his conscience speaking to him, forcing his heart and mind to stay on the same page. He, too, wanted things to go back to normal, but for him that meant something different.
He wanted to see Zoe again, not to question her lineage or birthplace, but just to stand with her in her world. As long as he and the Queen continued their affair he couldn’t be the kind of man to Zoe that she deserved. He couldn’t go to Earth to see her and then come home to be with Kyra. There wasn’t room in his heart for both.
“Kyra,” he spoke. Her mouth on his silenced him before he could speak further. She was sweet and a little gentle, but he could feel that she wanted more. He had to fight wanting to kiss her back in order to maintain his focus. His hands moved against her hips and slowly pushed her from him. The kissing stopped abruptly as she teetered backwards, caught herself on her feet and stood in front of him. She looked confused, angry, and a little humiliated.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
He hadn’t meant to physically pusher her off of him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” he exclaimed. He desperately searched for an excuse but all he could think of was what Zoe would think if she knew what he was doing. “I just remembered some things I need to take care of in Gaia. On Earth.” It was a lame excuse and not good enough to quell her irritation.
The Queen’s chest rose and fell rapidly as she stared at him, incredulity in every feature of her face. “You’re thinking about Gaia?”
“No, I’m thinking about you. I just remembered a matter I left unattended and it’s going to bother me if I don’t make peace with it,” he explained bringing his hand back to his head.
“The gates have been deprogrammed for Gaia,” she affirmed, her voice calming down to its usual tone. “Whatever you’ve forgotten will just have to stay that way.”
He could barely manage to swallow. He felt like she had just slapped him. “Deprogrammed? Why?”
The Queen looked down at him indignantly; the private side of her she shared only with him was gone. “What does it matter why? This is your home, Evan! Not Gaia!”
He was too stunned to think. Before he was conscious of his movements he found himself walking briskly to the door, ignoring the Queen’s protests as he walked out and ran as fast as he could to his private residence.