“I felt guilty that Gina’s pictures weren’t out. I felt like I was betraying her memory that they weren’t out. I felt like shit, I felt guilty, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.”
Well, damn…every bit of anger, hurt, and doubt that I had been feeling dissipates and is replaced just as quickly by empathy for Zack. Before I can say anything, he takes a step closer and squats down beside my bed. His hand comes out and rests on my leg. “I’m really sorry, Kate. You didn’t deserve that. That was my pill to swallow and I tried to shove it down your throat instead.”
“It’s okay,” I say softly, my hand reaching out to tug on his shirtsleeve. “You’re entitled to be an ass every once in a while.”
“I’m trying,” he says as he looks at me with naked honesty in his eyes. “I really am. You’ve thrown me for a loop, Kate. You’ve made me feel shit I didn’t think possible and it’s all confused in my head. I just want you to bear with me for a bit while I work through this.”
I nod at him, my heart cracking wide open and trying to suck him inside. “I can do that.”
“I can’t promise you anything,” he says just as gently. “I still don’t have anything to offer you other than what we have right now. There may never be anything else other than sex. I’m just being honest, but you can’t hold out hope for some romantic fairy-tale ending for us, okay?”
I wait for my heart to start breaking again, but it doesn’t. It instead opens a bit wider with complete acceptance of the fact that Zack is a broken man and he may never heal enough to be what I need. But he is enough for me right this very minute.
“So it’s still only sex between us, huh?”
“Yeah,” he says, his head tilted to the side and apology in his eyes. “But I am really sorry for hurting you a bit ago. The last thing I want is to hurt you.”
“Well, peachy keen, jelly bean,” I tell him with an inviting smile as I lie down and scoot over on the mattress. “If this is just sex, then how about we get to that part of what we at least do well.”
Zack’s eyes flash hot as I pull the covers back and invite him in. He stands up and whips his shirt off, his hands then going to the button on his jeans. He stills for just a moment. “You’re sure?”
“For right now,” I tell him truthfully. “Right now…at this moment…I’m sure.”
Chapter 25
Zack
In just two and a half days, Delaney, Kate, and I have the house almost entirely unpacked. The only thing left to do is sort through some of the shit in the garage that I wasn’t sure if I should keep or not but hadn’t had the time to go through before we had to move. That can wait until after the playoffs, though.
The doorbell rings and I get up from the couch to answer it. Delaney is in the kitchen, preparing everything for a spur-of-the-moment barbecue I decided to have. I called up Ryker and asked him if he wanted to come over and have some burgers, and he was all for that. He just sent his girls back up to Boston after a short visit from them and I figure the dude has to be lonely after that.
Opening the door, I see Ryker standing there with a six-pack of microbrews and a grin on his face. “Dude…nice house.”
“Thanks,” I say as I step back for him to come in. He holds his hand out and I give it a quick shake.
“Brought you some housewarming beer,” he says.
“Sweet,” I say as I take it from him. “Come on in the kitchen. Delaney’s getting everything ready. I’ll give you the grand tour later, but right now I have to start the grill.”
“Man’s work,” Ryker states.
“Damn straight,” I tell him. “And grilling the burgers too.”
He laughs behind me as I lead him through the living room. Once we get into the kitchen, I introduce him to Delaney. She can’t do anything more than give him a smile of welcome since she’s making the burger patties. I entrust Ryker to her care, though, so I can go start the grill, and even think briefly to myself, I wonder if they’d have any interest in each other?
Probably not. Delaney is a workaholic and she’d never leave Manhattan.
I step out onto the back deck and my eyes immediately go to Kate and Ben. She’s sitting in one of the swings while Ben is working the monkey bars.
My eyes shift back to Kate, and she looks so beautiful sitting there. Everything seems to be back on track with us now, and for that I’m grateful, because I sure as hell don’t know what I’d do if she kicked me out of her bed. I’m fucking addicted to her special combination of goofy charm and blazing-hot sexiness.