Zack(76)

Then he turns back to Alex and ignores me the rest of the time we are eating.





Chapter 23


Zack


I wonder if there will ever come a day when I don’t suffer from some form of guilt. Whether it be the accident, the fact I didn’t give Gina what she truly desired, or the way in which I know I’m fucking with Kate’s feelings, it seems I do nothing but swim in a thick, viscous pool of remorse.

I feel like absolute shit about Kate’s birthday. Not that I missed it, because how was I supposed to know what day it was? I mean…yeah, I could have looked at her application, but seriously…I’ve never been good at remembering that shit. It’s a guy thing.

No, I feel like shit because of the fact that Kate clearly would have never told me about it because she believes deep down inside that I don’t care about her birthday.

I didn’t think it was important, she said.

The translation was easy enough.

She didn’t think I would think it was important.

I’m trying to remedy the situation, even as I know that I’m again sending mixed signals by taking her out to dinner tonight. Lame as it was, I had to make sure in front of Alex and Sutton that this was just me, as an employer, taking out his employee for a birthday meal.

Nothing more.

Certainly not looking forward to an evening out with some wine, good food, and probably better conversation than I’ve had in a very long time.

Nope.

No way.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Kate says quietly as we drive to the restaurant.

“But I wanted to,” I tell her simply. “Birthdays are special. Yours should be celebrated.”

Turning on my blinker, I slow and make a right-hand turn into a shopping center. I drive around the perimeter of the parking lot and luckily find a spot right in front of the restaurant.

“Krill?” Kate says in surprised delight. “This is my favorite restaurant.”

“I know,” I tell her as I put the car in park and shut it off, turning to look at her.

Her head swivels my way and her eyes are skeptical. “How do you know it’s my favorite restaurant?”

Slinging my arm over to grip the back of her headrest, I say, “Kate…you may not realize this, but you babble. And I mean a lot. You may also not realize this, but I do listen to what you say even though it may look like I’m tuned out. And in the course of that babbling, I’ve learned quite a bit about you.”

Her eyes sparkle and she grins at me. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

I nod toward the restaurant. “Krill is your favorite restaurant. You’ve only been here once and that was when your ex-boyfriend brought you here for your first date. You hate beets. Loathe them, and the sight of them makes you want to gag. You like milk chocolate but aren’t partial to dark. However, if you add sea salt onto dark chocolate, you like it better than milk chocolate. You’re not a fan of country music, but yet one of your favorite songs is by Tim McGraw and it’s made you cry every time you’ve heard it. You love to fish, something you did often with your father, but you don’t like eating it particularly. Christmas is your favorite holiday, but you think giving gifts to other adults is overrated. You prefer to bake cookies for people and also because it’s more affordable. However, you are of the firm belief that Ben should be showered with gifts at Christmas, as well as his birthday, Easter, and I believe Groundhog Day, and of course now Ben will expect something on Groundhog Day. You laugh at corny jokes, tell even cornier ones, and take dorkdom to a new level. You chew on your fingernails when you’re nervous, but chew on your lip when you’re just being thoughtful, and when you chew on your lip it drives me fucking nuts because I want to be the one chewing on it. In fact, you’re doing it right now…”

She blinks at me in surprise and her bottom lip pops free from her teeth and she whispers, “Oh.”

“Yeah…‘Oh,’ ” I say, mimicing her as my hand drops from the headrest to the back of her head. My fingers curl around her neck tight and I pull her toward me, insanely needful to have my lips on hers.

Kate comes to me willingly and I kiss her slowly but surely.

I pull back and graze my lips along her cheek. “Happy birthday, Kate. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before.”

She sighs in contentment and murmurs, “Thank you.”

“Come on,” I say as I let her go and grab the door handle. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

When we get into the restaurant, it’s no surprise there’s a bit of a wait, so we head to the bar. It’s crowded as well, but we manage to find one available stool, which I pull out for Kate.