The baby babbled away at me and tried getting into shit on my desk. I sat in wonder, as she climbed all over me. I’d made her; she was mine. How fucking cool was that?
Even more than the anger I felt towards her mother, the love I felt for this little being was overwhelming. It didn’t even matter that I’d only just met her for the first time a few short hours ago, the love was instantaneous and real. Life had a whole new meaning. Now it was more important than ever that we take care of whatever was going on in our backyard. My kid as well as the others that were on the way weren’t gonna grow up in anything but peaceful surroundings. I’d fought for that shit for strangers; I could do no less for my own.
***
I thought long and hard about how to get the shit I needed and was hit by inspiration. Serve his ass right, kill two birds with one stone. It took some doing because I didn’t want anyone else knowing what I was up to, but I got what I needed. She didn’t even ask any questions, just said okay and see you in a few.
“See, daddy took care of everything.” She was drooping and I found that I didn’t want her to go to sleep just yet, I wanted her to stay up and grin at her old man and babble away some more.
I sat on the couch with the weight of her on my chest and fell more deeply in love. In less than a day she’d turned my whole world upside down and moved everything else out of the way. The road ahead might not be easy, but with the books I’d ordered and my brothers there to pitch in, I had no doubt I’d get it. All I had to do was survive the teen years and it was a go. Shit, that was a long fucking time away. What was life going to be like in the intervening years? Would I fuck up and turn her into a heartless bitch like her mother? Damn Zak, you’re gonna have to get ahold of this anger.
She reacted to my mood and fussed a little, until I soothed her with a hand rubbing up and down her back as I hummed to her. I let my thoughts go and just enjoyed the feel of her and the newness of fatherhood. I dozed off myself and came awake with a start when I heard the others heading back. The fuck did they want now?
Chapter 10
ZAK
She was out cold poor little mite, and I put her on a comforter on the floor and surrounded her with cushions and shit the way I’d seen on the net. For the first time since I first held her I breathed a little easy. She was so tiny and helpless and so fucking perfect. I rubbed my heart where a pain had started. Please don’t let me fuck this up. I said the quick silent prayer before heading to the kitchen where the others were filing through the door. “Shh, keep it down, baby Zak’s asleep.”
“You’re not planning on calling her that are you?” Cord shook his head as he headed to the fridge for beer. Ty went into the other room to look in on her like he didn’t trust me to know what I was doing. “She can’t sleep there, I think her mom has stuff for her that her grandma brought earlier.”
“I don’t want any of that shit in my house.” I could tell by all the eye rolling and muttering going around that they didn’t agree with me but whatever. If it were any one of them, Vanessa’s lying ass would already be buried out back somewhere and we’d be coming up with a cover story.
Cord passed around the beers and I weighed the odds against how long she might stay down and how much one beer might impair me. When I caught them looking at me like they knew exactly what I was doing and found the shit funny, I gave them all the finger and took a sip.
“What do you fucks want now?” It didn’t escape my notice that they were standing in formation like they were expecting some shit to jump off. “If you’ll remember, you kicked us out when we were in the middle of a discussion.” Lo quirked his brow at me.
I knew it was burning his ass that I’d done that, we weren’t in the habit of dealing with each other like that, but shit was different this time. My little girl was involved and no one was taking her from me.
“There’s really nothing to discuss and each of you know it, every last one of you would do the same. Lo, Con, you’re about to become dads, tell me you would do this shit different.” They relaxed a little, but there was still an underlying tension. Ty was rolling his eyes like he was being put upon. “The fuck’s wrong with you now?” He looked at his watch, back into the room where the baby was sleeping peacefully and then back at me. “Nothing, when’s she getting up? I got something to show her.”
This… “Ty she’s not on the clock, she’s a baby you ass. Kids wake up when they’re good and ready; and you’re not waking her up.”