ZAK SEAL Team Seven(23)

“But that’s not fair…”

“Nessa, you had his fucking kid and didn’t tell him, do you not know who the fuck you’re dealing with here?” Well when he put it like that, yeah, but still. I wasn’t the one passing out ultimatums two years ago. I wasn’t the one who was too pigheaded to give even an inch. I refused to cry in front of these men, men that I had served with, and gained their respect. “If he isn’t back with her in one hour I’m going over there.”

“Uh, I’m thinking that’s a big fucking no-no.” Tyler dropped down in the seat next to mine. “Listen, Lo gave you the harsh truth, now I’m gonna give you a little hope. The only way for you to get through this, is to keep your head down, do not give him any shit on this or he will eat you alive.

And I’m sorry to tell you, but you won’t only be fighting him, that’s just the way it is. It might not seem like it now, but you’re one of us, you gave us our first niece and that means something, so we’re gonna go to bat for you. Just don’t do anything that would make it seem like you’re going against him, or this bunch will be on your ass like a condor on carrion, the women included.”

“Ty, you’re not helping.”

“I’m just trying to be honest Con, what the fuck?” My head was starting to hurt worse. How had I handled things so poorly? I had thought for sure that after the last few days and nights, after we’d reconnected, that he would’ve handled this better, I guess I was wrong. I kept seeing that look on his face, replaying the moment it took all six of his brothers to take him down, and now my little girl was with him. Not that I thought he would harm her, but he was so angry.

“This isn’t right, whatever she did, that’s her baby.” Gaby wrapped her arm around one shoulder and Dani the next as they turned to look at their men. Both Logan and Connor sighed and rubbed their foreheads.

I wonder if any of them realized that over the years they’d picked up each other’s mannerisms, or that they finished each other’s thoughts. I could do with some of that camaraderie myself, but Ty was right, this bunch will stick together. And even though the girls were trying to be supportive of me right now, when it was all said and done they’d side with their men.

“There’s no point in all of you getting your panties in a twist, because at the end of the day, Zak’s the only one you have to watch out for, and in case you’ve all been under a rock for the last little while, that fucker’s not the sanest motherfucker in the pack.”

“Ty for fuck sake would you stop? We’re trying to diffuse the situation not make it worse.” Logan tried to cut him off but we all knew he was telling the truth.

“Yeah, good luck with that. Nessa, if I were you, I’d let this shit play itself out, nothing you think will work is gonna. You’re not dealing with the average Joe here and you know it. What you did is fucked no two ways about it, and trying to pretend any different isn’t gonna help.” He glared around the room at the others. I guess I didn’t have to ask how he felt about the situation; I can only imagine that Zak felt ten times stronger about it.

I sat there with a hole in my heart and a weight in my gut as everyone threw around ideas of the best way to handle the situation. “I’m sorry I brought this here with all that’s going on.” Shit, I had all but forgotten that they were dealing with something here. “Are you kidding me, you were right to bring her here.” Connor knelt next to my chair and patted my knee. “Look, shit’s all over the place right now, you feel cornered and scared, that’s understandable. But no one in this room wants to see anything happen but what’s best for you and our niece. Just do like Lo and the jackass said, keep your head down, don’t give him a reason, please don’t give him a reason.”

They all had their own little piece of advice, but I couldn’t really take anything in. Two years ago Zak had given me an ultimatum that just wasn’t doable for me at the time. He wanted me to opt out of signing up again, which I couldn’t do. I had a plan you see, had it all mapped out, and wasn’t about to change it because I’d fallen in love.

Maybe if he hadn’t been so forceful about it. Back then I resented the way he thought he only had to say something to make it so. I wanted his respect as a marine, wanted him to see me as something more than a bedmate, which I knew now wasn’t fair, he’d never treated me as anything less than his.

In the end I’d had to do what he’d wanted me too anyway, only it was for different reasons, and it was too late for us. Now my mind was full of what-ifs and all the ways I could’ve handled the situation. Only now when it was too late did it make sense to do things different, at the time it had seemed like I was making the right choice. Isn’t it funny that now in the face of things it seems like the worse choice I could’ve made? I hate hindsight.