Your Fierce Love (The Bennett Family)(34)

"What is the point of this? I'm doing my job very well, and you know  that." Another deep breath. I can't lose my shit, no matter how much I  want to.

"Guess what? Very well isn't enough."

"I got us on the late-night show. That is a million times more important."

"I decide what's important, not you. And when I ask you to cooperate, you cooperate."

"You consider backstabbing cooperation?"

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. If you're not willing to cooperate, I will let you go."

"You will let me go," I repeat blankly.

"Yes, and I'll make sure you don't get another job in this network, no matter how many phone calls Saint Nate makes for you."

"I see." Well, that makes my path very clear.

"You do?" He clasps his hands, his nasty smile making an appearance for the first time today.

"Yes. I quit." I am not going to come to work every day with this slimy  man breathing down my neck, asking me to do things after which I could  never look at myself in the mirror, just because he isn't capable of  hard and honest work. No more. I am worth more than this. There have to  be more options than this.

His smile freezes on his face. "What?"

"I quit."

***

You never know how dispensable you are until faced with the fact. One  hour later, as I walk out of the studio building, all my belongings in a  box, HR termination contract on top, the enormity of my decision hits  me, and my knees nearly buckle from the weight. I barely make it to my  car, and once I climb in, I'm in a stupor. What have I done? I blink  back tears, trying not to panic, but panic I do. My chest feels so tight  and my eyes sting so badly, I can almost feel a panic attack coming. Or  a stroke. I'm about to research stroke symptoms before I realize I'm in  the garage of the building. No reception or Internet here.                       
       
           


///
       

This deep breath technique doesn't work jack shit when you're panicking. Could I have handled this better? Maybe.

Jesus, what have I done?

The right thing. I did the right thing. It's just that doing the right  thing sometimes has the habit of biting me back with a vengeance. Almost  unconsciously, I touch the marks on my back.

Okay, this is obviously not how I pictured my career change happening.  Ideally I would have already had a job lined up before quitting this one  because I have a mortgage to pay. My best skill is that I get shit  done, and I don't feel I'm too good for any job. Hopefully, that will be  enough for my unemployment to be short.



***

"You have the biggest balls ever," Penny exclaims. When I arrived at the  apartment, I realized I'd work myself into a frenzy if I spent too much  time alone with my thoughts. On a whim, I asked Penny if she could have  lunch with me. So now she's wolfing down a shawarma, sitting on the  swing on the balcony, while I rid my flowers of dry bits. I can't eat. I  feel a little faint just at the smell of shawarma.

"Or I'm stupid."

"No, you're not. You're loyal to a fault. That's very rare. You have no  idea how many back stabbings I see on a daily basis, and it usually  happens over petty things, not a job."

"It was just all too much, and I acted impulsively."

"If you ask me, this was a long time coming. You weren't happy there."

Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I snap a dry bit with a  little too much gusto. "Well, the point of a job isn't to be happy, but  to receive a pay-check. Have some stability. I wanted to transition out  of TV, but I wanted to have a plan for it."

"You can't plan everything."

"That coming from the person who wakes up at five o'clock every morning to run? You're the master planner."

"Yeah, and it's zero fun. Look at this as an opportunity to figure out  your next steps without a slimeball breathing down your neck. Use it.  Also, you have a fine man to fill all those spare hours with."

I swallow hard at the thought of Blake, unsure how he'll take the news  of my unemployment status, especially because it will be accompanied by a  huge request. I'm going to ask him if I could live here a while longer  than I intended.

My building developer informed me that they're handing over the keys  soon...and I can't afford my mortgage anymore. Renting it out so I can  finance the mortgage until I get a job is my only option. Staying here  free would be a big help. Ugh...I already feel like a leper about it,  and I haven't even asked Blake yet.

"Have to go. Sorry I can't stay longer," Penny says.

"Thanks for coming."

"Hey, you're here early!" Blake exclaims, appearing out on the balcony,  scaring us both half to death. He and Penny met a few Saturdays back  when she dropped by for breakfast. "Hi, Penny."

"Take care of my girl. I have to go."

"Short day?" he asks after she's gone.

I decide to rip it like a Band-Aid. "Nope. I quit."

"What happened?"

Sitting on the swing, I tell him everything quickly, trying not to make a big deal out of it. Blake grows angrier by the second.

"I can't believe this," he explodes, pacing around the balcony. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Didn't see the point. I didn't want to worry you, and I was dealing with it."

"Clara..." He stops pacing, training his eyes on me. "Being part of my  family doesn't mean just attending birthday parties and weddings. A  whole lot of shit comes with the territory too, and people like this  Quentin are at the top of the shit list. I've dealt with this kind of  people for a long time. I'm not going to let you fight my family's  fights. That's what I'm here for."

"Oh, sorry I didn't tell you. I promise I will if it happens again. Honestly, I thought he'd eventually drop the whole thing."

"I want you to tell me everything-not only if it affects my family.  Anything that bothers you. Anyone who makes you uncomfortable. I want to  know. Okay?"

I nod, too overwhelmed by the intensity of this moment to find my voice.

"There's something else on your mind," he states.

"Yes, I received an e-mail from my building's developer. They're handing the keys over this week."

Blake's expression turns blank. "You're moving out?"

Hugging my knees to my chest, I shake my head. "Actually, I meant to ask  if I could stay here until I find a new job? I thought about renting  the condo so I can make the mortgage payments. I know there's a lot of  interest in that building, and I was hoping to swing it by not paying  rent here."                       
       
           


///
       

Blake sits next to me on the swing. "That's not even a question. You're  staying, and I'm taking care of you. Anything you need. Anything you ask  for. Actually, it'll be more than what you ask for because you have the  lousy habit of not asking for nearly as much as you deserve."

"Thank you, Blake. You're a lifesaver."

"You quit your job without a second thought rather than blab about my family. Do you have any idea how much that means to me?"

The vulnerability in his eyes startles me.

"It was the right thing to do."

"People usually do what's right for them. You're different. Loyal and sweet, and-"

Without warning, Blake takes my hand, leading me inside his apartment.  He kisses me softly. My lips, my cheek, descending to my jaw and my  neck.

"You're so precious to me, Clara, you have no idea."

This closeness between us right now is unlike anything I've experienced  with him. With a startled gasp, I realize his chest is shaking slightly.  He kisses me anew, deeply and slowly.

I am so lost in him, soaking in all his warmth and deliciousness that I  don't even realize he's ridding me of my clothes until I'm buck naked in  front of him.

He lowers himself on his haunches, gaze focused on me. The glint in his  eyes is a mix of wicked and yet even more vulnerability. Maybe he feels  this change between us too. All I can do is hold my breath and watch  him. He lifts one of my legs, and I wobble for a split second before he  places my thigh on his shoulder. He kisses my inner thigh, inching  closer and closer to my pubis. When he runs his thumb along the rim of  my opening, following the movement with his tongue, I bite back a moan.  Oh damn, he's sexy. So unbelievably sexy. He's so good with his tongue,  and his hand.

He's teasing me again in that delicious way of his, dragging his tongue  up one fold, then down the other, so close to my clit, but without  touching it. Oh God, I can't take this anticipation. I-

Fuck.

He nips at my clit, and I buck forward, out of breath. Out of  everything. For a split second, my vision turns black. Every muscle in  my body tightens, absorbing the shock of pleasure.