"Yes, I have...I mean I am...." Jesus, why can't I whip two words together in a coherent sentence? Sweat dots my palms, and I wipe them both on my jeans. I wish he'd crack a joke. I wish I'd crack a joke, but my brain isn't cooperating. The grim set of his mouth really isn't helping. I could use a smile. I'd be grateful even for the hint of a smile.
"Six weeks? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I haven't known for six weeks. I went to the doctor like we talked about, so I could get birth control. And that's when I discovered."
"You went to the doctor last week," he points out. There's still not a hint of smile on his face. "Is this why you've been so distant?"
A knot lodges in my throat. "I didn't know how you'd take the news."
"What do you mean you didn't know how I'd take it? Why are you so nervous? You don't want the baby?"
"I'm-" My voice catches. I shake my head, closing my eyes. The image of the tiny shoes pops up in my mind. "I can't believe you asked me that," I finish weakly.
"Clara Abernathy!" a voice resounds from deeper inside the waiting room. "Your interviewer is waiting."
"I have to go."
"I can wait until your next break."
"Don't."
"Clara-" he tries again.
"Please don't. I have a gazillion more interviews, and I want to have a clear head."
Without waiting for his reply, I turn my back to him and head straight to my interview room.
***
They start triaging us in the afternoon. By four o'clock, just six of us are left from the thirty. Theresa didn't make the cut, which is a pity. I liked her. They'll only hire three though, so the game is still on. I'm dizzy and hungry by the time they call me in for the last interview. A woman with a short, graying bob welcomes me inside. My portfolio is to her right, my custom illustration for them on the left.
"I'm Sheila Radcliffe. Take a seat, Ms. Abernathy. You're pale. Are you feeling all right?"
Yep, just confused and broken-hearted. And what with the lack of caffeine in my system and the general drowsiness the doctor warned might hit me in the first trimester, I feel like I'm wading through a particularly thick cobweb of thoughts.
"Just been a long day, but I'm excited to be here."
She scoffs. "Please, between the two of us, I can be honest. This process has been a nightmare. Our HR really needs to get their act together. Who's got time for ten interviews?"
I smile weakly. "This is my twelfth."
"Pffft, see what I mean? I wanted you on my team since I saw this."
She holds up an illustration from my portfolio. It's two years old, and I did it on a whim, in one crazy night. It's a little strange and a lot colorful.
"Wow, really?"
She nods. "Really. This tells me you have creativity. Technique can be learned, but creativity comes from within. So yeah, that's what convinced me. But HR insisted on a million interviews to see if we're a good fit and whatnot." Ah yes, that does sound like HR bullshit. "I told them the only thing I care about is the illustrator's work, not which personality type they are, but alas, I don't make all the rules. So, Clara-can I call you that?"
"Yes, please."
"Brilliant! You're available to start immediately, right?"
I can barely believe this is happening. "I am."
"Good. Because I want to change the plans. I do get to make some rules, thank goodness. All of the remaining six candidates are my favorites, and I don't want to narrow it down yet. What I do want is for all of you to go through with the two weeks of training, and at the end of it, we'll see who we're keeping."
I nod, a little disappointed that the process will stretch out even more.
"Would you be able to start the training tomorrow instead of next week? There's a plane flying out this evening-we're paying for all expenses, of course-and I really want to get the ball rolling."
Oh snap. The training is at their headquarters, which is in Boston. If I take off this evening, it means I get a very short time to talk to Blake, and I was hoping to at least get a good night's sleep before tackling that. But there's no way I can say no. Friendly as Sheila is, it's clear that saying no is an exclusion criteria.
"Sure, no problem. I'm your girl."
She claps her hands, smiling brightly. "Excellent. I think you'll like it at Ayaks Publishing, Clara."
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Blake
Hi, Blake. I got to the next level!!! Which is not being hired. They'll decide which of us they keep after the two-weeks training. They changed the schedule and want to start the training tomorrow, so I have to fly out to Boston tonight. I'm home now, packing, but you're not here, and I can't wait any longer or I'll miss the plane. Maybe this is for the bes,t though! You'll have two weeks to think about everything. We'll talk when I get back. I understand this was a shock to you, but I hope you'll do right by the baby, even if you don't want me. Please don't call. I don't want to talk about this on the phone.