Your Fierce Love (The Bennett Family #7)(73)

"Oh no. I just want some birth control. I've only been using condoms until now."

She smiles sweetly, closing the file. "Sure. Do you know what you want? Or should we go through all your options? There are pills, IUDs. I have to tell you right off the bat that none of them is one hundred percent certain, but then again, neither is the condom. You get about ninety-nine percent certainty."

I laugh nervously. "I think that's enough. I want pills."

She nods, picking up a pen and pulling a small notebook from under a stack of papers. I make a mental fist pump. This will be a record short visit. Then she puts the pen back down. Damn it. So close.

"We need to do a urine test before."

"Oh, okay."

Fifteen minutes later, she looks at the results of the test and smiles.

"Oh!" she exclaims, startling me. Crap. A surprised doctor is never a good thing.

"Looks like you won't need that birth control after all."

I frown, not quite understanding. "Why? Am I-am I sterile?" That couldn't be, right? It would have come up sometime in the past twelve years or so of controls.

"No, of course not. You're pregnant."

My mouth goes dry, and my vision clouds for just a split second. I must have misheard her. "Pregnant? With...a baby?"

She laughs softly. "Yes."

"But I don't understand. We've used condoms every time. I mean, we've been at it like bunnies because that man can fuck me silly on a daily basis. He has quite the stamina-" Shit. Here comes my verbal diarrhea again. The good doctor doesn't need to know so much. "But that shouldn't matter as long as we used protection, right? We used a condom every time. And it didn't break. Not once."

"Sometimes a break isn't obvious."

My mouth goes dry as I breathe in and out, euphoria and panic warring inside me. There is a baby growing inside me. A baby! I place my hand on my belly, not quite ready to believe there is a tiny human there. The panic pushes away the euphoria for the moment.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's do a transvaginal ultrasound, and I'll tell you exactly how far along you are."





A few short minutes later, I climb on the examination bed, and she proceeds with the ultrasound.

"We have a heartbeat," she says triumphantly, pointing to the screen next to the bed and emotion clogs my throat as I watch the tiny blip. "By the looks of it, you've been pregnant for about six weeks."

"But six weeks...I drank coffee every day."

"Just make sure you adhere to the restrictions from now on, and you'll be just fine. I'll give you a full list."

"Okay." I draw in another deep breath. "Okay."

"Since you came in here for birth control, I'm assuming this was unplanned. You have options if this isn't what you want. Abortion, adoption."

It takes me a second to register what she means.

"No, I want it. Of course I want it. I'm just...I wasn't expecting this."



       
         
       
        

"Sometimes the best things in life happen unexpectedly."

I'd agree with her, but almost everything in my life so far has been unplanned. I was hoping to do better than that for my baby, at least be married or employed.

My mind spins while the doctor gives me instructions, recommends vitamins, and whatnot. Still, I'm overcome with joy, and I place both hands on my belly. It's silly, I know. There's nothing to feel. It'll be months before he or she starts to kick. But it's growing inside me. Someone tiny to take care of and shower with love.

I can already picture it: the nursery, the adorable clothes. Me sitting in a rocking chair, singing a lullaby until the baby falls asleep. I can practically smell that sweet and sugary scent of a newborn.

There is just one question mark. How will Blake take this?

My heart begins to thrum faster again, the panic barreling back in as I leave the building. I'm happy I didn't come by car because I couldn't concentrate on driving. The walk will do me good. Maybe by the time I get home I'll have my thoughts together.

Except I want to keep thinking about the baby because that seems safer. With Blake, this could play out too many ways. I distinctly remember him telling me that starting a family right now is the last thing he wants. We've been growing close, but a baby is a huge and permanent thing, and I am starting to panic for real.

Sweat breaks out of my forehead, and I stop at a kiosk to buy a bottle of water. I gurgle down the ice-cold liquid, and it helps me calm down somewhat. Blake is a good man through and through. Still, the prospect of talking to him sends my mind into a tailspin, again.