‘Looks great,’ laughed Robert. ‘I like what they’ve done with the place.’
‘Yeah, I know, very inspiring. I think they’re worried that if they put anything up on the walls it’ll get pinched.’
‘They know what you travellers are like,’ Rob winked. ‘Where are you off to next?’
‘Inca Trail – four days of hiking before arriving at Machu Picchu.’
‘Sounds awesome.’
‘I can’t wait.’
I’d saved it until near the end of my stay in South America because it was one of the things I’d most wanted to see. I’d heard so many wonderful things about the ancient Inca city from other travellers who had been there – I knew I wasn’t going to be disappointed.
‘I’ve heard that’s ultra spiritual,’ smiled Maddy.
‘Here comes your awakening. You’ll be a monk before you know it,’ laughed Robert.
I didn’t bother correcting him that there weren’t really monks in Machu Picchu. I didn’t want to be an arse. Instead I just smiled and nodded.
‘So, what’s new with you two?’
At the question, something Maddy did caught my eye. I saw her eyes widen as she glanced at Robert, a flicker of panic crossing her face as she opened her mouth to speak before closing it abruptly and pursing her lips together. Stopping herself.
Robert, however, was giddily smiling. He placed his arm around Maddy, pulling her into him as he planted a kiss on her forehead.
I knew what was coming before it was said.
‘I’ve asked Maddy to marry me!’
Maddy sprang her left hand up and flashed the sparkling ring as clarification.
I clenched my jaw while my lips formed something resembling a smile.
‘Wow. When? How?’ I fired.
I had to ask the questions to give me time to steady myself, but I wasn’t too keen on hearing the answers. I zoned out as Robert started telling me about Paris and how he’d tricked Maddy into thinking he hadn’t remembered the location of the restaurant we’d all been to. I must admit, from what I heard, it sounded romantic.
My heartache wasn’t like before when we were sixteen years old and I hadn’t known their romance was about to kick off. This time I’d known exactly what was coming – my mum had, after all, told me he was going to ask at the start of the year. Part of me had expected the news every time his name appeared on my phone screen, causing a wave of anxiety as I picked up. I felt a little soothed that the moment I’d feared had finally arrived, that I wouldn’t feel that same nausea when he called in the future.
This time I wasn’t going to sulk, or cry to my mum, and I wasn’t going to go off and sleep with another girl in a ridiculous bid to prove the impossible to myself, because for once I realized that the moment wasn’t about me. It was about the two people I loved declaring their love for one another. I had nothing to do with it.
Being far away from home had given me the time I needed to reflect on the years I’d loved Maddy, and on everything that had happened over the previous decade and a half. Talking to other travellers, and hearing their tales of heartache, helped to put everything into perspective. Yes, it hurt, and yes, that pain was all relative to me and was real because I was living it, but I wasn’t the only one in the world to feel that way. The difference was that other people were able to come out of such times and move forward, creating happier memories, new lives. Even though I thought I was moving forward with my life before – I’d had a good job, I was engaged – deep down I was waiting, although I hadn’t told myself what for. For Robert to stray again? For Maddy to leave him? To realize she loved me? Whatever it was, it had stopped me, and that was something I’d realized while I was away. But I was the only one whose life was hindered by me pointlessly holding back. I was spoiling life for myself.
Maddy was happy. I could see that as I looked at her on my screen that day. She was visibly glowing as she gazed at Robert.
He made her happy.
She wasn’t waiting for me.
I wasn’t the guy for her.
That was when I realized that I’d never allow myself to stand between them ever again. It was yet another affirmation that I was wrong to ever have spoken up and act on my feelings. They were always going to end up together. I should have known that from the start.
‘That all sounds magical,’ I said as Robert came to the end of whatever he was saying.
‘That’s not all, actually,’ he grinned. ‘I was wondering if you’d be my best man.’
Mum had predicted it. I’d shunned the idea.
I was speechless.
I couldn’t think of anywhere better to go and ponder over a broken heart than Machu Picchu – a deserted city built for the Inca kings on the peak of a mountain.