You're the One That I Want(80)

We all saw each other every Sunday, without fail, taking it in turns to travel across London to do so. They were still my bestest buds, although, by that point, Alice had been added to the mix, making us a neat little foursome.

Maddy had been right, things had got better over time. Not seeing her every day had certainly helped, although I’m gutted to admit that she never strayed far from my thoughts. The distance made me miss them both, but mostly her, and excited to see them each weekend as a result. The love I’d felt never faded, even though I was happy that a new love had blossomed with Alice – the sweetest girl I’d ever known.

I still visited my mum in Peaswood all the time. Yes, she did irritate me when I’d moved back home, but as soon as I moved out again I missed her terribly. My dad leaving when I was so young was an awful thing to deal with, but, by that point, I’d spent the majority of my life with it being just the two of us. I was used to it. I never forgot that, in many ways, I was her life. So despite me living elsewhere, I made sure I gave her as much time as I could so that she was never by herself for too long. Not that she minded being alone – she’d not had a man in her life since my dad left all those years ago, but I’d never heard her moan, making me wish I’d inherited some of her thick skin.

She spent most of her evenings either with, or on the phone to, Carol. Our mums were still as inseparable as they’d been all those years before when we were younger. It was great to know Mum had people around her when I wasn’t there.

One Wednesday night, just after Christmas, I’d gone over to hers for dinner. Alice was covering an event for the magazine she worked for so I was on my own. I knew something was up as soon as I walked through the door. She couldn’t stop smiling, as though she knew something but wasn’t allowed to say. I said nothing, just waited, knowing she’d tell me whatever it was if she wanted to – thinking it was probably something village-gossip-related that I wouldn’t be too interested in anyway.

We sat down to dinner (I was stuffing my face with her delicious homemade steak pie), when she finally cracked.

‘Okay, okay, okay,’ she said excitedly, waving her arms in the air, her grin getting bigger with each second that passed. ‘I’m not meant to say anything, but then, you probably know already so there’s no point us both pretending we don’t know when we do.’

‘What are you talking about?’ I asked – I couldn’t help but smile back, she was totally giddy over the news she’d been told, and I rarely saw her like that – like a naughty teenager, unable to keep a secret.

‘Oh, give over,’ she said, tapping my arm across the table, as though I was playing with her. ‘You clearly know. I can see it on your face.’

‘I don’t, Mum. Honestly.’

‘Why are you smiling like that, then?’

‘Because I’ve never seen you act like this before, that’s why.’

‘Oh …’ she said, suddenly unsure whether she should carry on or not. ‘Well, perhaps I should keep it a secret, then. You don’t want to hear it from me. Forget I said anything.’

‘Mum! Go on, you can’t leave it there.’

‘Ah, it’s just too exciting to keep from you, and there’s no one else I can tell,’ she practically screamed, bursting with happiness. ‘Robert’s gone and asked for permission.’

‘What sort of permission?’

‘Don’t be daft. To ask Maddy to marry him. He went over to see Kathryn and Greg yesterday – Carol told me this morning. They’re all so excited.’

I should have guessed it would happen one day. They’d been together since they were sixteen and had lived with each other for three years – it was the next step, we weren’t kids any longer. The feelings it conjured shocked me – I was happy for them, but, mostly, I was sad. Sad that, if there was ever any doubt about the matter, Maddy and I would never have a chance of being together. It was a selfish thought, but it arose in me nonetheless, causing me to be annoyed at my heart for betraying me after all those years.

‘Didn’t he say anything to you?’

‘No,’ I said, managing to smile at my mother’s beaming face.

‘I expect he wanted it to be a surprise for you too. Oh, it’ll be a lovely day for all of you really, not just them two.’

‘Do you know when he’s going to do it?’

‘No idea, love. Next few weeks or months, though, I’d have thought. I don’t think he has a ring yet.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know. Exciting, huh? Better get looking for a hat!’ she beamed, unable to hide her excitement. ‘Ooh, and, well, I know Rob’s got two brothers, but I’m sure you’ll be best man. You’ll have to do a speech and everything. We can go through the loft and dig out some old photos. I think we’ve even got some from when I first met Carol. Yes, some great ones of you two eating ice cream in your prams, it’s all over your faces.’