‘You’ll be okay,’ Robert eventually said with a nod.
‘Yeah …’
‘You’ll always have me.’
‘Thank you,’ I managed before bursting into tears, no longer able to keep the sadness in.
Robert put his arm around me and firmly held me, silently becoming my anchor of support as I crumbled.
We sat like that for the next thirty minutes.
Nothing more was said.
We never talked of my tears once I’d finished, but that afternoon had altered things between us. We’d been exposed to something our fragile young minds weren’t ready for, a grief that, in an ideal world, we should have been protected from. My dad had left me, discarded me like a worn and used jumper. He’d done nothing to try and save me from the pain of his leaving – in fact, Robert, at just nine years old, did more to comfort me than my own dad had. How pitiful. It was the vulnerability that the situation provoked in us both which caused a firmer alliance to be built between us. From that moment Robert had turned from my best friend to my rock, and I worshipped him for it.
Maddy
Eleven years old …
Two years after stepping through the doors of Peaswood Primary School I was happily settled thanks to my two bestest buds, Robert and Ben. We went everywhere and did everything together. It was rare to see one of us without the other two in tow. This was helped by the fact that our parents had become close too, meaning that while they had their grown-up dinner parties and weekly Friday nights at the community club, we were allowed to wander off and play. On top of that, hardly a day went by without us doing something together after school. Our mums would come and collect us at the school gates, take us to our individual homes, and within minutes one of us would be knocking on the others’ front doors, asking if they wanted to play out.
Thankfully, things had changed in class – mostly because I no longer had any desire to become a Pink Dreamer, although it wasn’t an easy conclusion for me to come to. After various spats, I suddenly saw sense – much to the boys’ relief. In turn, because I stopped caring so much, Laura and co stopped picking on me. Thankfully we’d come to some sort of truce.
On 15 May, in our final year at primary school, our whole class was stood at the bottom of the school playing field in the spring sunshine, next to the great big fir trees, waiting to watch Becky Davies (one of the nicer girls in the Pink Dreamers) and Greg Reed (the most popular boy in class) do a very grown-up thing … get married. It was all taken very seriously with Laura as the priest and the rest of her gang playing the bridesmaids (hardly a surprise).
‘I don’t understand why we have to watch this,’ huffed Robert from my right.
‘Because! It’s romantic!’ I said back.
‘It’s stupid.’
I didn’t respond any further to his moaning because I was pretty sure that Robert had a bit of a soft spot for Becky. That was the real reason for him thinking the whole thing was ridiculous. He was jealous.
‘I like it …’ said Ben from my left with a beaming smile.
‘Really?’ questioned Robert in disgust, flicking the ends of his hair out of his eyes with irritation.
‘Yes,’ Ben nodded, eagerly.
Laura was standing beside Greg in what was our childish makeshift version of a romantic spot to get married in – a collection of sticks, daisies, bluebells and dandelions had been arranged into a circle, like a little love nest.
We edged a little nearer to them when the ceremony was about to start, much to Robert’s annoyance.
‘Please welcome the bride and her bridesmaids,’ Laura shouted, as she theatrically swept her hand in the air towards the incoming group of girls, who’d been hiding behind a few of the trees.
Nicola and Michelle, the other two Pink Dreamers, walked up to the circle carrying small bunches of daisies, as they hummed ‘Here Comes the Bride’ with great enthusiasm. Behind them walked Becky wearing a big white shiny dress over her school uniform.
Laughter came from my right.
I turned to see Robert with his hand covering his reddening face as he failed to suppress more mocking laughter.
I elbowed him in the ribs.
‘Ouch.’
‘Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,’ Laura boomed louder, her voice sounding more serious and grown up than normal. ‘Thank you all for joining us here today. Becky and Greg are delighted to be sharing this wonderful moment with their friends.’
Robert sighed next to me, unable to hide his irritation.
‘Marriage is about two people saying they like each other very much and showing it to the world,’ she said to the crowd. ‘It’s them saying they love each other more than anyone else they know. That they are happy to be there for each other from now until the day they die.’