‘Why are you talking about chocolate Hobnobs?’
‘Because they’re always on my mind,’ I moaned. ‘See? Mr Fitness Freak with little Miss Piggy was never going to work.’
‘You’re not little Miss Piggy.’
‘Am I not good enough to be with him?’ I continued. ‘He was the popular kid, what did I think I was doing. He’s so out of my league.’
‘He really isn’t.’
‘What did I do wrong, Ben?’ I begged, persisting to badger him with my self-doubt, longing for my friend to tell me what I’d done to get myself into such a sorry mess.
‘Nothing. You did nothing wrong,’ he said, reaching across the table to take my hand, which he firmly squeezed three times – for once it failed to comfort me.
‘I must have,’ I shrugged. ‘He shacked up with someone else. Some floozy.’
‘You didn’t do anything. You’re absolutely perfect, Maddy.’
‘Hardly.’
‘No, you are. It’s so annoying that you can’t see that.’
‘Oh Ben, lovely Ben,’ I cooed, leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. ‘I can always rely on you to make me smile.’
‘You really can, Maddy … I’ll always be here.’
‘If you were my boyfriend, I know you’d make me smile every day. You’d never give me any of this crap.’
‘I’d try my best to make you happy, that’s for sure …’
‘And you would!’ I chirped over the top of him. ‘You’d never have done this to me – you’re too kind and loving.’
‘You’re not so bad yourself. As people go.’
‘Tell me, Ben. Tell me what else you would’ve done if you were Mr Maddy Hurst,’ I said, sitting up and facing him, enjoying the silliness of the conversation.
‘I’d have made sure you knew exactly how special you are and how much you meant to me,’ he said, smiling at me.
‘And how would you have done that?’
He took a few seconds to think about his answer before saying, ‘I’d have started by telling you how much I’ve loved you since the very first day I saw you.’
‘Nice touch, bringing up our history – that’s priceless. Not a soul can compete with a lifetime of memories.’
He laughed before picking up his half-full pint of beer and downing its contents.
‘You’d have been a lovely boyfriend,’ I said, placing a hand on his arm. ‘I totally picked the wrong best friend to snog in Paris.’
‘Cheers,’ he said quietly, playing with his empty glass before holding it up to show me it needed refilling. ‘Fancy another?’
‘Do you even have to ask?’ I cheekily grinned, as I held up my own depleted drink.
I watched him plod off to the bar and wait for the barmaid to come – it was quiet, even though it was a Friday night, but that didn’t make her serve him any quicker, as she languidly continued to clean glasses while talking to one of her locals, oblivious to Ben standing there. Not that he was trying to get her attention, though. He wasn’t even looking at her. Instead, he had his elbows up on the bar and was resting his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead. Something was clearly on his mind – he appeared agitated.
In my drunken state, it dawned on me that he’d spoken to Robert before I had, that he’d already confessed everything to Ben before calling me with the delightful news. I wondered if Robert had gone into more detail with him. Told him something that Ben felt uncomfortable knowing – perhaps also promising not to tell me. In the few minutes it had taken Ben to acquire the barmaid’s attention and come back with our drinks, I had convinced myself that it was the case. He knew things I didn’t, and I wanted to find out what they were.
‘Out with it,’ I practically barked at him as soon as his bum was back on the cushioned bench.
‘What?’
‘There’s something you’re not telling me.’
‘No, there’s not,’ he protested, but the reddening of his cheeks told me otherwise. They goaded me on, told me he was lying, that there was more he was keeping from me.
‘I know you know something about Robert,’ I insisted.
‘I don’t.’
‘He told you something, didn’t he?’
‘No, he really didn’t.’
‘Did he tell you not to tell me?’
‘What is this? There’s nothing to tell you, Mad,’ he said, his voice rising in panic at being put on the spot. His eyes were wider than ever as they proclaimed his innocence, but the clenching of his jaw and the guilty swallowing of bile fought against his claim.