On April 16th, a Friday afternoon (I remember the date clearly for reasons you’ll come to understand), I found myself free from lectures. Rather than sitting indoors and fretting over my remaining work, I’d decided to make the most of the freak springtime heatwave and go on a mammoth bike ride along the coast. I’d asked Maddy if she wanted to come but she’d declined, insisting she was too busy finishing off coursework – I pictured her sat on her bed, frantically editing her latest photographs, a worry line forming on her brow. She was such a perfectionist, but it paid off. Her work was always awesome. She had a natural eye for capturing little moments, even if photography was something she insisted was something she ‘fell into’ through being clueless about her future plans.
So, there I was, enjoying the glorious weather and the salty wind blowing through my hair, when Robert called. Needless to say we still spoke on the phone daily, some days two or three times. Maddy always joked that I spoke to him more than she did; I think, back in those days, she could have been right. I pulled over and got off my bike before picking up, perching on a stony wall that was separating me from the sandy beach below.
‘Mate!’ I breathed into the phone, my lungs only just starting to recover. ‘You coming down tomorrow night?’
‘Something’s happened,’ he blurted, steamrolling my chatter with haste.
Everything inside me froze as I heard the fear in his voice. It was far from the calm and cheeky tone I was used to hearing – I knew it was something serious.
‘What’s happened? Are you okay?’
‘No …’
‘Rob, what is it?’ I instantly thought the worst. I thought he was about to tell me something had happened to my mum.
‘I’ve done something really stupid.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve slept with someone …’
‘You’ve what?’
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was hit by a wave of nausea as my surroundings slipped away from me, all my senses focusing on Robert’s voice.
‘You heard,’ he muttered, not wishing to repeat it.
‘When?’
‘Last night.’
‘Fuck!’
‘Yeah … what a cock,’ he berated himself.
‘But what about Maddy?’
‘I know.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Have you told her?’
‘No! I wanted to tell you first.’
‘Why? I’m not telling her for you,’ I stammered, not wanting to be the one to break her heart – he could do that himself.
‘Of course not, I wasn’t going to ask you to. I just wanted you to know so that you can be there, you know, when I do.’
‘Right, yeah. When you going to do that?’
‘Now. When I get off the phone to you.’
I thought of Maddy going about her day as usual, blissfully unaware that her boyfriend was about to drop the biggest bombshell on her. I couldn’t believe Robert, the guy who we thought we knew so well, who was loyal and trustworthy, could do such a thing.
‘Why’d you do it, Rob? Who is she?’
‘I can’t answer why, it just happened. She’s just a girl. A random, stupid, girl.’
‘Fuck!’
Neither of us spoke for a few minutes – a million different thoughts raced through my head as I tried to make sense of it all.
‘Look, I’ve got to phone Maddy. I’ve got to tell her.’
‘What are you going to say?’
‘I don’t know. I’m so confused by the whole thing.’
‘Right …’
‘Look, just be there, okay?’
‘Of course … aren’t you going to come see her?’
‘I think I should do it on the phone. Just get it over with. Get it out there.’
‘But –’
‘I can’t, Ben. I just can’t,’ he said forcefully.
Anxiety took a hold of me as we said goodbye. I stayed there for a few minutes, perched on the wall looking out to sea, trying to calm myself down and compose myself as I watched the waves relentlessly crash and foam.
I was angry at Robert, angry that he’d messed up in such a huge way. Maddy wasn’t just some girl he’d been dating for a few years, although that would have been bad enough, she was his best friend. Our best friend. One of us. How could he be such an idiot? Why would he risk losing her for some random girl?
I felt helplessly sad for Maddy. She’d never been the jealous type, never uttered a word of worry to me about what Robert was up to in Nottingham without us to hang out with. I knew the news would crush her.
Cursing Robert for not having the guts to come and face up to his actions, I shakily jumped on my bike and started to make my way to hers, ready to pick up the pieces of her broken heart that my trusted friend had so thoughtlessly trampled on.