You're the One That I Want(37)

‘Eurgh!’ chuckled Robert, giving me a gentle nudge.

‘I can’t get my head around the fact that he’s never been in touch,’ I exhaled. ‘Even today? All those birthdays he’s missed out on over the years, but today stings the most. It’s a special one.’

‘I get that.’

‘In theory, from this point forward, I’m an adult. He missed most of me being a kid, and now it looks like he’s going to miss the rest of my life along with it.’

My words lingered in the silence that fell upon us.

‘So what?’ he asked, matter-of-factly.

‘Huh?’

‘You have a great life. You’re surrounded by people who love you, you’ve got a wicked relationship with your mum and you’re fucking talented. So why care about someone who hasn’t taken the time to realize how awesome you are?’

I looked at the picture in my hands and said nothing, instead concentrating on nibbling at a tiny bit of loose skin on my bottom lip. It wasn’t quite the reaction I’d been expecting from Robert – it was far more diplomatic than the bashing of my dad’s crummy morals that I was after.

‘Is someone who could walk out on you when you were just a kid really worth pining over? Is he really worth the energy or effort?’

‘I wish it was that simple.’

‘Maybe it can be,’ he shrugged, turning to me with wide green eyes.

‘But not having him makes me feel trapped and desperate,’ I confessed, feeling defeated at having to share my niggling thoughts. ‘Some days I come up here and I feel like that little nine-year-old all over again, wanting him to come back and apologize, to tell me and Mum he still loves us … I know it sounds ridiculous.’

‘No,’ Rob breathed, shaking his head.

‘This place pulls me in, acts like a safe haven, and then reminds me of his betrayal,’ I added, as I took in the ageing and weathered wood around us.

‘Then why come up here?’

‘It calls out to me. It’s just too tempting not to. I spot it from the kitchen or from my bedroom window. I’ve always thought of it as a place to be closer to him – but I’ve been feeding myself a sack of shit. All it does is remind me of what I no longer have.’

Rob puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the blond strands away from his eyes.

‘I’ll be back in a bit,’ he said quickly, as he shuffled along the floor, grabbed hold of the blue rope and jumped down and out of the hole to the grass below. I watched him as he walked around the house and out of the side gate. When he returned ten minutes later he was carrying a bright yellow plastic toolbox.

‘What’s that for?’ I yelled down, sitting up and trying to get a better view of what he was up to.

‘Call it a special birthday present,’ he grinned, opening up the box and taking out a hammer and saw.

‘What?’

‘A few pieces of wood shouldn’t make you query how loved you are – or taunt you about what might have been if your dad wasn’t such a dick. Now, come down here, grab some tools and let’s demolish the crap out of it.’

‘Seriously?’

‘I want to free you of your chains,’ he smirked.

‘I feel like Rapunzel,’ I joked as I hung out of the window of my childhood treehouse.

‘That makes me your prince charming, then,’ Rob winked. ‘Are you coming down? Or do you want me to carry you?’

Eagerly, I made my way down from the treehouse for the last time. Adrenaline pumped through me as I took the saw from Robert and reached up to start hacking away at one of my hidden demons. We ripped, smashed, crushed and split every piece of that wooden structure until there was nothing but a simple apple tree left behind. It must have taken less than half an hour, but I enjoyed every second – at one point I even threw the tools aside and just started pulling at it with my hands, yanking rusty nails away from their embedded homes. Never had I felt so pumped and full of energy.

‘Now what?’ I asked in my out-of-breath state as I stared at the treehouse’s carcass in a heap on the ground.

‘We burn it,’ he grinned, pulling out lighter blocks from the plastic box, along with a box of matches.

I’ll admit that the whole thing had an air of teenage girl drama about it. You know, girl gets ditched by arsehole boyfriend and burns every picture of them together in some ritualistic voodoo cursing manner … but as I watched those pieces of wood go up in flames, and flicked that picture from the day it was created on top of the burning pile, I felt a sense of release.

I put my arm around Rob’s shoulders and thanked him for giving me the best birthday present I could have asked for.