‘Oh really,’ I sighed nonchalantly, hoping Kelly would get the hint that it was a topic I was bored of explaining.
‘You were flirting,’ she continued.
‘No, we weren’t,’ I protested, my voice hitting slightly higher notes than I wanted it to.
‘You were jumping all over each other.’
‘No. It was flipping freezing so I nicked his scarf. He was trying to grab it back off me. That’s all.’
‘It was classic flirting.’
‘Kelly …’ I flustered, shaking my head.
‘I think he likes you.’
‘Don’t be silly. He’s my friend and that’s all there is to it,’ I said matter-of-factly, trying to end the conversation there.
‘Yes, I know. But you’re not kids any more, Maddy. You must be able to see the way he looks at you and the fact that there’s shitloads of chemistry between you.’
‘There really isn’t,’ I said firmly, almost losing my patience in a way I never had on the topic.
‘Right …’ she sighed, gazing back at her reflection in the mirror. I thought she’d finally relented, but then she added, ‘He is so fricking hot.’
‘I don’t see it …’ I lied with a shrug, watching her as she expertly applied purple eyeshadow to her already dark eyes, wishing I knew how to do the same to mine. No matter how hard I tried I knew I never matched up to the other girls in the way they took care to groom themselves to perfection – perhaps it was the only downside to being friends with boys over girls. We spent our time in trackies outside, taking on new adventures, while girls experimented with make-up and learned to make the best of what was given to them. I was years behind and it showed. I’d never known what to do with my fair skin – fake tan made me look like an oompa loompa, and I’d acquired far too many freckles to cover up with foundation. My red hair was the only thing I liked – it was thick and manageable, although it was usually thrown up in a ponytail to keep it off my face (even then, wispy bits always broke free and created a frizzy ring around my face – as Rob had nicely pointed out in his drawing). Why would Robert be attracted to someone boyish like me, I wondered, when he could have someone beautiful like Kelly? As soon as I heard the question bounce around the walls of my inner mind, I knew I was in more trouble than I cared to admit. Self-doubt just wasn’t in my nature. Well, not over a boy anyway.
‘You don’t see that Robert is the fittest guy in our year? Really?’ Kelly asked further, looking at me in disbelief.
‘Yes, really!’ I shrugged.
‘Perhaps you should start looking then …’
I smiled at her as I picked up my mascara and unscrewed the wand.
‘Because I’ve got to say, if you don’t look, I might be forced to make him look in my direction instead,’ she said with a saucy wink.
All at once I started to feel nauseous.
I felt extremely awkward when I joined Robert and Ben in the lobby half an hour later. All I could think about was what Kelly had said, and the realization that I’d definitely developed ulterior feelings for my best friend. I felt irritated by how self-conscious it made me feel – for instance, I was aware of every part of myself, which made me feel like an inexperienced Bambi walking on ice as I approached them. The way Robert looked me up and down with a delirious expression on his face didn’t help (it made my insides flip inside themselves), and neither did the pair of them wolf-whistling at me as I approached.
‘Cut it out,’ I hissed, giving them both a firm shove on the shoulder.
Yes, being with Kelly had prompted me to make a bit more effort than usual – I was wearing more blusher and eyeshadow than my mum would have liked, along with an emerald mini-dress, tights and heels – Kelly’s heels, not mine. I’d felt good as I left my room, sexy and mature, but now their gaze was on me I felt silly and exposed.
‘What? You look hot,’ laughed Ben, smiling at me as he took my hand and gave me his usual comforting three squeezes.
‘Ouch,’ said Robert as he cheekily rubbed the opposite shoulder to the one I’d pushed, giving me a smirk. He was always trying to treat me like a feeble girl, simply because he knew it wound me up. Or was he flirting, I wondered. And, if so, had he always been?
‘I’ll do it harder if you like,’ I warned, perhaps with a bit more gusto than I’d meant.
‘Promise?’
I couldn’t fail to spot the glisten in his eye as he raised an eyebrow at me, tilted his head ever so slightly and licked his lips as they formed a smile. The action had me transfixed and I literally had to pinch myself to pull myself away from the magnetic force of his whole being. It was more than him being his usual cocky and suggestive self, and that knowledge caused a rush of excitement to whizz through my body. I could feel my cheeks beginning to blush at the unexpected sensation.