You're Not Broken(8)

Jason nodded. He then looked away and gave a cold huff of a laugh. “They were all someone close,” he said quietly. He shook his head. “Never thought I’d come to know the layout of a cemetery so well. But seven visits and you get pretty damn good.”



Kat’s eyes widened. Seven funerals he’d had to attend at Arlington? That was mindboggling. She could only imagine the devastation of seeing your comrade in arms being buried. But to see it seven times over? It was brutally unimaginable.



“I had some time off and I couldn’t go straight back to Bragg. I just couldn’t,” Jason said, his face shadowed in more than just the night’s darkness. “So I drove a bit, taking the long way around. And I ended up here. In Peytonville.”



There was a quiet that descended between them as each collected their own thoughts. The soft winds of summer blew by, letting them know fall was right around the corner. Crickets chirped and their music seemed to hang in the slightly humid air.



“Do you mind if we walk a bit?” Jason asked suddenly. He seemed antsy after talking.



Kat nodded.



Again, after jumping off the truck, he helped her down. She felt that tickle in her belly again at having his strength wrap around her.



Kat led them to the path around the library’s park. Together, they walked in companionable silence. It was peaceful and there was a sort of ease as they walked together. There was no pressure to talk. They simply enjoyed being together.



“Thank you for talking to me today,” Jason said after a few minutes of silent walking. He looked over at her with a look of wry bashfulness that made Kat’s heart flutter.



“I know that was a weird request and very out of the blue but I want you to know that…” he seemed to be searching for the right words “…that it helped. It’s helped me in more ways than you’ll know and I really appreciate it.”



Kat shook her head. “Please,” she said, smiling. “Don’t mention it. I’ve enjoyed talking with you just as much.”



And she really had.



Jason looked down the path and then suddenly stopped. He looked up at the night sky. It was easier to see the stars out here than in the cities. There was much less light pollution in Peytonville.



“It was good to feel like I was part of a town today,” he said, smiling faintly. “Thanks to you, I almost felt like I was home.”



Kat smiled but unsurely. She could see the reluctance in his eyes and the pain that kept his smile from touching his heart.



He didn’t want to go.



He didn’t want to fight anymore.



And suddenly, Kat felt a fear that she would lose Jason. Not in the physical sense since clearly he would be leaving soon. But in every other sense that mattered, she felt she would lose him if he left again. And this man, this warm, handsome, attentive, funny man would be gone.



Leading by impulse, Kat suddenly grabbed his arm. Jason jerked in surprise at her touch.



Looking up at him with pleading eyes, she said, “It’s brave to ask for help when you need it.” Her eyes searched his, hoping to see her words sinking in. “It’s incredibly brave to recognize how human you are and to know when you need help. There is a strength in knowing when you need others. It means you know yourself.”



His eyes flickered at her words but instead of understanding, she saw a look of heavy darkness cross his eyes. It was a dark place he was going to and it was hard to keep any light of hope or positivity lit in such a place. He knew that.



But Kat was determined. He was someone special. She wouldn’t let the darkness take him. She wouldn’t!



“It’s brave,” she said again, emphasizing each word.



Jason nodded and gave her a fleeting smile. She knew he was pacifying her so she wouldn’t worry. He already considered himself lost.



Wrapping an around her, he gently pulled her in and hugged her. The warmth of his body enveloped her. Kat breathed in his spicy musk and sighed.



“Thank you,” he murmured into her hair. He held her close for another minute, both seemingly reluctant to let each other go.



Kat closed her eyes.



Time seemed to stand still.



It felt as if two floating survivors in a stormy ocean had finally met each other and were clinging to each other, happy to have found another survivor. Happy to have found someone who understood the rough waves and salty ocean stings.



The connection felt unreal and unearthly. It was sudden and deep as if she had fallen into a hole where she had thought would be solid ground. But it was a good fall. It was a fall into the arms of someone who cared, someone who understood loss and pain and responsibility.