Luca sank his head to the floor and sighed. “I guess I’ve been doing it for so long—for most of my life—that I don’t know any different. If you had been anyone else, you never would have seen me again.”
Pulling my head back in shock, I saw the sincerity in his face. “Luca, what on earth is going on?”
Luca sighed in resignation and gripped me tighter to him. “Don’t ever leave me. You promise me this?”
“Luca, you’re scaring me.” And, I was scared. His demeanour was seeing to that. This was the first time I had ever felt scared with Luca.
“Just answer me, Clara.”
I straddled his waist and cupped his face in my hands. “I promise.”
Pulling me into him, he held tight, and I felt his hot breath at the base of my neck. “I killed my father.”
Stiffening in his arms, Luca sensed it, and he tightened his grip. He was frightened I was going to bolt. What he said shocked me, yes, but I wasn’t going to leave him.
“Why?”
When he loosened his grip, I pulled away from him so that I could watch him as he spoke. He knew I wasn’t going anywhere now.
“I used to live in a picturesque village in Cefalù in Sicily. I was an unruly boy who mixed with the wrong crowd and got up to mischief. Even then, I wanted to be my own person. I was virtually left to my own devices and was happy enough. Happy, that was, until my father started binge-drinking. He lost his restaurant business, and it made him resentful. Very resentful. He started blaming my mother for everything that had gone wrong in his life. At first, it was verbal, but then he started using his fists. I was fifteen, and I was scared. I used to hide away when he got mad, and I was disgusted with myself for doing so.
“One day, he took things too far. I heard him shouting and my mother screaming at him to stop. I tried covering my ears, but it all became too much.” Feeling Luca’s rigid body, I ran my fingers through his hair. Relaxing slightly, he carried on. “Something in me snapped. I grabbed the first thing I could find and hit him with it. As I stared down at my hands, I realised I had his blood on them. I had stabbed him and hadn’t even realised it. I watched as my father looked at me with pleading eyes. “Why, son? Why have you done this?” I watched as the life faded away from him.”
Pulling Luca into my arms, I cradled and caressed him. I wanted him to know I was still here. I promised him, and I was keeping that promise.
“My mother acted very quickly. She was very resourceful and very intelligent. My dad didn’t give her enough credit for her contribution to our family. She told me it was okay. She assured me that everything would be okay.
“Before I knew it, she was organising my getaway. She contacted some of her family and got me on the next flight out to England—with the promise that I would never return to Sicily again.”
Feeling his pain, I tenderly kissed his cheek. “Oh, Luca. I’m so sorry.”
It all made sense now. He was enraged when Michel had hit me all those months ago. It all must have felt too close to home for him.
“You remind me a bit of my mama in some ways. She was strong and feisty. The only shit she took was from my father.”
Kissing his fingertips, I gently grazed my teeth across the tips. Luca hissed with pleasure.
“Why couldn’t you tell me this before? Why didn’t you share this story with me?”
“I’ve never told this story to anyone. The only person who knows is my uncle who arranged everything for me. He looked after me, and made sure I was well taken care of. He said my mother would beat him otherwise.” Luca chuckled a little causing my heart to flutter.
“I like the sound of your mother. I think she and I would get on like a house on fire.”
Pulling my hips over his groin, he breathed in my neck. “It’s a pity you will never get to see her. She’s a wonderful woman.”
“Can’t you go back now? I mean, it’s been, what? Fifteen, sixteen years. Surely it would have all died down by now?”
Luca shook his head. “She made me make a promise.”
“But—”
Luca stopped me with his hand. “She made me make a promise.”
I sighed realizing I wasn’t going to get through to Luca. “Do you at least know she’s okay?”
Luca smiled. “I get regular updates from my uncle, Giuseppe. He calls every week to make sure she’s doing fine.”
“And is she?”
“As far as I’m aware, yes. She never married. She just stayed at home and looked after my brothers and sisters.”
I searched his eyes for sign any sign of pain. “And you don’t know how they’re all getting on?”