Luca’s heavy sigh told me that he had been defeated. I knew it took a lot for him to release control for a change. “Okay. I won’t kill him. I can’t say I will be that generous if I ever come across the fucker, though.”
I giggled and snuggled my head into his chest. “Thank you.”
I felt Luca sigh. “Now, it all makes sense… That explains why you are the way you are.”
Frowning, I pulled away from Luca and stared at him. “Why? What do you mean?”
“You’re stubborn as a mule. You don’t take any shit from anybody.”
I smiled and flicked his nose. “And don’t you forget it.”
Luca tenderly stroked my cheek. “Was it always like that? With you father?”
Sighing and placing myself on the bed, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted old memories being brought to the forefront. It made me mad, and I always felt my control waver.
“I never did as I was told. Pure and simple. I think they hated me. Being told from the age of five that you had the devil inside you and that it needed to be beaten out stuck with me for a long time. I believed I had the devil in me. I believed I was wicked and evil. I was cocooned in my parent’s world, and I didn’t realise what else lay out there for me. I thought I was doomed to fail—doomed to live that life of pain and suffering. I even thought it was what I deserved at one point. I was being brainwashed, but a big part of me wanted control. When my father beat me—” I saw Luca clench his teeth together, so I placed my hands on his to bring him back to me.
Realising it had worked, I carried on. “When he beat me, I felt powerless to do anything. It was like he was stripping away my independence bit by bit until I thought there would be nothing of me left. See, that’s why I’m so independent now. That’s why I choose to run the business my way and only my way. That’s why I’ve never asked for anyone’s help. To ask would make me seem weak, and I’m tired of being weak. I’m tired of letting people think they can get away with whatever they can. I won’t let them. I refuse to let them.”
Cupping my face in his hands, Luca leant in for a kiss. He pulled away and lingered for a moment, just savouring our stares.
“I’m not going to take away your business from you. The only reason I went into this was because I wanted you—and only you. That is one thing I refuse to have stripped away from me. I want to help you with the business as you can’t run it by yourself, but I won’t interfere. Can I ask that of you?”
Taking a deep breath, I realised then and there that I really did need the help. Asking for it was not a sign of weakness. I knew that finally. I had just been in control this entire time, and that had made me feel whole. I really hadn’t been whole at all, though; I had just been kidding myself.
“Okay. I would like that.”
Smiling, he took me in for another kiss. “Good. This means I can have you all to myself more often. That is one thing I will never lose control over.” I saw the stern look in his eyes, and it made me chuckle. “Finding something funny, amore mio?” I closed my eyes, letting the burn take me over.
As if sensing the reason for my sudden change in mood, Luca surprised me. “Era il giorno ch'al sol si scoloraro per la pietà del suo factore i rai, quando ì fui preso, et non me ne guardai, chè i bè vostr'occhi, donna, mi legaro.”
I moaned. I actually moaned. My God, what was he saying? It had me breathless and wanton. He could have been reciting a shopping list, but it would still have turned my legs to jelly.
Sensing the lust coursing through me, he asked, “Did you like that, amore mio?”
“What did you say? It sounded beautiful.”
Luca smiled. “It was a love sonnet by Petrarca. He fell in love at first sight with a beautiful woman named Laura. He wrote sonnets for her.”
“That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”
Luca stared at me and started playing with my hair. “It was the day the sun’s rays had turned pale with pity for the suffering of its maker. When I was caught, I put up no fight, my lady, for your lovely eyes had me bound.”
I snuggled my head into Luca’s neck and nibbled him gently. “Hmm, sounds lovely.”
With a serious expression, Luca pinned my wrists. “Now I know how Petrarca felt when he met his Laura. A picture—only a picture and I was gone. I know I came across as someone who was familiar with you when we first met, but you don’t understand. I already was. I had known about you for days. Known about your will, your power—your strength. I had that picture of you in my head every minute of every day. I knew I had to have you. I knew I had to be with you.”