Both men are on the floor. Jake has BJ by the throat and he is choking him to death. Pure, uncontrollable panic surges through me. I run screaming towards them and drop to my knees beside them. ‘Please, Jake,’ I beg desperately, my hand uselessly trying to pull his away from BJ’s throat. ‘Please. Please don’t. I love him,’ I plead.
BJ swivels incredulous eyes towards me. Jake stiffens, but his hands are still frozen around BJ’s throat.
I am sobbing hard now. ‘He’s the only one for me. If you love me please, please, I beg you, don’t hurt him.’
Suddenly BJ chokes out, ‘What’re you going to do? Kill me? You can’t fucking control everything in your world. I wanted to tell you, out of respect, man to man, but the fact is, your sister is all grown up and she wanted to tell you herself. But since you’ve ruined that possibility for her, here’s how it’s going down. I fucking love her, man. I’ve loved her since I was 14.’
I hold my face in the palms of my hands and stare incredulously at BJ. Jake sits back, his hands falling to his sides, his chest heaving. He stares at BJ coldly. ‘If you cause her to shed one single tear, I swear, I’ll make you cry blood. Then, I will fucking kill you.’
There is a trickle of crimson flowing from the side of BJ’s mouth. He wipes it with the back of his hand. His shirtfront is smeared red.
‘I won’t,’ he says clearly.
Jake gets to his feet, straightens himself, and sighs. He sounds defeated. He looks at me, and his eyes are sad. He wanted better for me. ‘I’ll see you at my home, later tonight?’
Unable to speak, I nod. Jake closes the door softly behind him and I run to BJ.
I touch the swelling on his jaw. ‘Oh my God. It must hurt like hell.’
‘Can’t feel a thing. Too wired up.’
‘I’m so sorry, BJ. This is the second time you’ve taken a hit for me.’
‘Third time,’ he corrects softly.
I frown. ‘Third?’
‘First time was when I fought Jake. He’s a strong fighter, but I’m trained and he’s not. I could have taken him, but I didn’t.’
I remember that I had to look away at the ferocity with which he dispatched The Devil’s Hammer. ‘Why didn’t you?’
‘Why doesn’t Batman kill the Joker?’
‘I don’t know. Why?’
‘I wasn’t being magnanimous or a hero when I drank a couple of cans of stout and allowed myself to fight loose and stupid. It was because of you. At the heart of my mercy was self-interest. I didn’t want to vanquish Layla’s brother and turn him into an unforgiving foe. Sometimes, your rival today becomes a vehicle for your legacy tomorrow. I wanted us to be equals. Sure I like Jake, but I’ve gone out of my way to maneuver myself into a place where he owes me one.’
Shocked by his confession, I sit back and stare at him. ‘Were you really telling the truth when you told Jake that you love me?’
He expels the air in his chest in a rush. ‘Love you? You’re like a hundred flashbulbs in my face, Layla. You blind me. You always have. Ever since you trooped into church with your brothers, all of you wearing the old curtains my grandmother had donated to the charity shop. My mother sniggered, but my heart swelled just to look at you. Just to know that such beauty existed in this world. I tried to fight it. I even pretended to myself that you were a spoilt little brat. All these years.’ He shook his head. ‘Every conceivable type of woman. But none would ever do. My heart was taken.’’
I feel almost euphoric. ‘So that’s why you have the Layla tiepin.’
He flushes, the area above his cheekbones becoming dark red. ‘Yeah I bought that when I was 15. One day, I promised myself, I’m going to walk down the aisle with that girl and I’m gonna wear it. But then you fell and when I went to help you up, you treated me as if I was a lump of dog shit. I realized you were too grand for me. So I killed the love in my heart. Or rather I thought I had, but I was just kidding myself.’
‘I love you, BJ,’ I whisper.
He swallows hard.
‘It’s not a death sentence,’ I joke weakly.
He looks down. ‘You don’t understand. I thought you’d never say it. I thought …. You don’t know how long I have waited to hear you say that,’ he mutters close to my ear, his voice raspy and broken.
And suddenly I see the sweetness of this beautiful man. ‘I love you so much I could die,’ I say softly.
He lifts his head, his dark eyes shining. ‘Say it again,’ he commands.
‘I love you so much I could die.’
‘Again.’