‘You’re not so bad looking yourself,’ I say shyly.
‘Me? I’m an ugly mug. You, you’re another matter. You truly are the beginning of intoxication.’
‘That reminds me, how is it you know so much about my name. Even I thought Layla meant of the night in Arabic.’
‘Because I researched it, Princess.’
‘Is that why you bought a tiepin with the word Layla on it?’
His face closes over.
I frown. ‘What?’
‘Nothing.’ He turns away and starts the engine. ‘So Lily is having a homebirth. When?’
‘Well,’ I say settling myself into the seat. ‘The baby is not due for another three weeks.’
‘And Jake is OK with a homebirth?’
‘Oh, he didn’t like it one bit at first, but being the total control freak that he is, he went out and offered the best midwife in England so much money she is going to uproot her entire family, 3 kids no less, to go and stay at his house two weeks before the baby is due. From what I understand, the poor woman will be virtually a prisoner until the baby is born. Of course he’s also hired a whole medical team to be on standby just in case there’s any kind of complication.’
He laughs. ‘That sounds more like him.’ He sobers suddenly. ‘When do you plan to tell him about us?’
It is my turn to sober up. ‘I want to tell him, but he’s so happy at the moment. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so full of laughter. Can you believe he sings to his baby?’
He turns to look at me briefly, his eyebrows raised.
‘I just don’t want to spoil this time for him. I’ll tell him after the baby is born.’ I pause for a second. Then, I don’t know why, perhaps I am testing him, I add, ‘If we are still together by then.’
His face registers no change, but his hands tighten on the wheel. ‘OK,’ he says tightly. ‘We wait until after the baby is born, but if I am in a position where he asks me outright I’m not going to lie.’
‘That’s fair enough.’
After that we talk of things outside of us. Some of it is light and easy and I laugh a lot, but I come to realize quickly that BJ sees everything from a totally different perspective than me. A much darker, more cynical perspective. He is my total opposite in every way. We disagree on almost all the important aspects of life. He seems to be without the usual social pretensions that normal people indulge in. To start with, he doesn’t have a Facebook page. He thinks all social media is narcissism gone berserk. He is of the opinion that only birds should tweet. Having 865 Internet friends is ludicrous. And wait for it … he has never taken a selfie!
He says he will go back to church again when someone explains where black people came from since Adam and Eve were both lily white. He believes that people should not be trusted since the strongest human traits—greed, jealousy, envy, cruelty—are inborn and already active even in children. Humans have to be taught kindness, generosity, patience, and goodness. BJ believes those traits can only be a thin veneer for the real truth, a cauldron of negative emotions.
‘So you don’t trust me?’ I ask him, my voice is light, my manner is flirtatious, but in fact I am really curious as to what he will say.
He throws a brief glance at me. ‘Where does your mother think you are now?’
‘With Maddy,’ I say slowly.
‘Have I answered your question?’
‘Is there no one you trust?’
‘Jeremy. I trust him.’
‘That’s sad, BJ.’
He shrugs carelessly. ‘Save your sympathy. I set it up like this because I like it this way.’
‘BJ, isn’t your mother alive?’
‘Yeah.’
‘And you don’t trust your own mother?’
‘Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother. I’d do anything for her but no, she hasn’t done much to inspire my trust.’
‘My God. What kind of childhood did you have?’
He gives me a sideways glance. ‘It wasn’t like yours.’
‘So you’ve never trusted anyone in your life?’
‘I trusted my father.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he always showed me his real face. At all times I knew exactly what he was and what I could expect from him.’
Then he is turning into Silver Lee. We go into the house and it is silent, but an amazing lunch has been set out on the dining table. It is almost like being in a fairy tale. Like in Beauty and the Beast when the father finds the deserted palace and a table set with a princely meal.
There is a note on the table. BJ picks it up and reads it.
I am so caught up in the Beauty and the Beast scenario I think that the note might be important. ‘What does it say?’ I ask curiously.