He kissed her because he couldn’t speak. Because he didn’t have the words to tell her all he felt. So he just kept on kissing her until language returned to him. Until he could breathe again.
It could have been years but probably was only minutes when he at last lifted his head. Because no matter how much he wanted to keep on kissing her, he knew he’d have to speak eventually.
Her face was flushed, her eyes dark. She leaned against him, her hands pressed flat to his chest as if she wanted to dig her nails into him and pull him even closer. A fierce light burned in her eyes. “Is this a case of no meaning yes?” Her voice was thick, a thread of her usual snark in the words.
“No, you shouldn’t want to stay.” His own voice didn’t sound much better. “No, I don’t want you to set me free. No, you can’t leave me.”
She was breathing fast now. Challenge flickered in the tarnished silver of her eyes. “I thought you’d come to terms with being alone. At least that’s what you said.”
“Turns out I was wrong,” he said hoarsely. “Turns out I was wrong about a lot of things. I was wrong to push you away. I was wrong not to trust you. “He stared down into her beautiful face. “I was wrong to pretend I didn’t love you.”
Eva blinked. “I don’t understand. You said—”
“I know what I said. I’m a liar. A fucking coward. I’ve been so angry with Theresa for so many years. Angry at her for not fighting for me. For leaving me. She was all I had, the only family left. And she wouldn’t stay. She destroyed herself. She left me alone and I’ve never, ever forgiven her for that.” He tightened his arms around Eva, staring fiercely at her. “I didn’t want anyone to make me hurt like that again. I didn’t want anyone to have that power over me. But I’m willing to let you have it. I trust you, angel, I do.”
She stared at him, searching his face for what, he didn’t know. It made him suddenly conscious of the silence behind him. But if the others were there, he didn’t care. The only person of any significance was right here in front of him.
“You’re an idiot, you know,” Eva said huskily. “Yes, love can make you hurt. But it can make you strong too. You think I would have been able to stand up to Fitzgerald without you? Why do you think I wasn’t afraid? Because I loved you. Because you made me strong, Zac.”
She was warm in his arms, her body melting into his. And yet the core of her was pure titanium. How had he ever thought her fragile? “You’ll have to teach me how it works, angel. I don’t have any practice with love.”
Eva’s hand slid up his chest, curving up to his shoulder then further up to his jaw, stroking lightly. “Of course you do. You loved your sister. You just need to look past your anger and remember that.”
How did she know that? How could she see so clearly? “I don’t know if I can. All my memories of her are … angry ones.”
She caressed his jawline, sending a tendril of fire through him. “It might take time, but you’ll remember. It’ll still be there. Some things are like that. I mean, it took me a long time to see who you were and figure out what you meant to me. Seven years to be exact.”
Zac turned his head, brushing his mouth against her stroking finger. “I knew from the minute I saw you waiting for me under that streetlight.”
“Knew what?”
“That you were mine. It just took me a long time to admit it to myself.” There was a burning in his heart but it wasn’t anger this time. It was almost painful and yet there was a sweetness to it. The very best kind of pain. “I’m sorry, I said those things in the street to you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I just … I’ve been angry so long and this is so new. I’m not sure how to do it.”
And finally, finally, her mouth curved. A smile that had been a long time in coming. “You’re doing pretty well so far. How about you just keep going? I mean, practice makes perfect, right?”
The pain and pleasure deepened in his heart. He turned his head to check the room—it was empty. The others must have gone and left them to it. Good fucking choice.
He turned back to her and before she could say anything, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her over the mess on the floor to the couch, laying her down on it.
* * *
“If you go in there, I will personally hurt you.” Katya put a hand on Alex’s chest. “And you know I can, Alexei.”
Alex glared at her then at the closed door of their clubrooms at her back. “You’ve met Zac. He’s a mean fucker. If he hurts her, I’ll—