Which caused Eddie, across the room, to pause a moment in the middle of folding his blue shirt.
‘Thank goodness,' said Dan. ‘Are you still going into work?'
‘Of course.'
‘Want me to keep you company?'
Touched, Lily said, ‘Would you? That'd be great.'
‘No problem. I'll see you in a bit.'
‘How's Patsy this morning?'
‘Still not herself. She's staying in bed.'
Oh dear, was there anything worse than feeling ill? ‘Poor thing,' Lily said sympathetically. ‘Tell her I hope she feels better soon.'
By midday, Lily was discovering that the waiting for something to happen was the worst bit. Like the day your GCSE results were due to arrive, or that sick sense of dread as you sat in the dentist's waiting room about to have your wisdom teeth wrenched out.
But that kind of physical pain was far easier to deal with; it hurt like hell for a bit, then gradually faded away and you knew the worst was over. Whereas this felt different and could have the potential to leave wounds that wouldn't heal. Because despite putting on a brave face and pretending she was fine, the nerves were really starting to kick in now. Beneath the surface she was dreading hearing something she might not want to know.
‘OK?' murmured Dan when she went into the office to fetch the bubble wrap.
He knew, of course. Other people might be fooled by her couldn't-care-less manner, but not Dan. His good hand brushed against hers as he passed her the roll, and that familiar tingle zipped up her arm. In a moment of weakness Lily found herself pretending to lose her grip on the slippery plastic so that their fingers could briefly make contact again. Zinnggg. Stupid, but it was just something she needed this morning. Every little helped.
‘Don't worry.' Dan's voice was reassuring. ‘I'm here. You'll be fine.'
‘I know.' She met his gaze, saw the concern and compassion in those black-lashed dark eyes. ‘I just wish it would hurry up and happen.'
Forty minutes later, it did. Lily was hefting a stack of duck-egg-blue glazed stone garden troughs into the back of a customer's battered old Jaguar when she realised she was being watched by a pretty blonde girl.
When the girl turned her head to one side and Lily saw the pink streak in her hair, she knew. Dan had told her about his encounter with the journalist in Ted Wilson's shop. She finished loading the troughs into the Jaguar's boot and waved the driver off, then turned back to look at the girl. It was almost a relief to have the waiting over at last.
‘Hi. I'm Shaz. Looks like you know why I'm here.' And now the girl was in front of her, beaming and enthusiastically shaking her hand. ‘It's so good to finally meet you!'
‘Is he here now?'
‘Your dad?'
‘Keir Bourne,' said Lily.
‘He is.' Shaz nodded. ‘Oh Lily, he's so looking forward to meeting you again. Properly this time. You have no idea how much it means to him.'
Lily swallowed; she didn't need to do this. She could walk away now, lock herself inside the house and refuse to come out. Nobody could force her to meet him.
But that would give him more importance than he deserved. Allowing him to meet her and remaining detached would show him just how much of an irrelevance he was in her life.
Plus it would get it out of the way. Done and dusted. Then she could have her mild curiosity assuaged and go back to ignoring him once more.
Even as these thoughts were spinning – for the millionth time – through her brain, Lily was aware of the sound of car doors slamming a short distance away, followed by footsteps crossing the road towards her. All of a sudden a frantic horse race was starting up in her chest and the thunder of galloping hooves threatened to drown out everything else.
But on the outside she remained calm. She turned and there he was, the man whose photograph she'd seen in last week's newspaper. The man whose genes she shared.
Without him, she wouldn't exist.
And now he was here, heading towards her, and she was feeling …
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Good, that was good. She hadn't wanted to feel anything and her wish had evidently been granted.
Indifference was the order of the day.
‘Oh Lily, my baby … ' As he said it, Keir Bourne tentatively held out his arms and Lily took a small step back. Something about the delivery of the words felt off, as if they'd been someone else's idea. She became aware of a small man with a huge Nikon taking photos from the other side of the road. Shaz, meanwhile, was watching and listening with her phone in her left hand and an avid smile on her face.
To avoid a hug, Lily shook hands with Keir Bourne and said, ‘I don't remember meeting you before.'
‘It wasn't for very long, just a few minutes. And it was twelve years ago, so why would you remember? But it's wonderful to see you again now. It's been like torture, knowing I was missing out on so much of your life. Not a day's passed when I haven't thought about you, Lily. All these years I've dreamed of us getting to know each other. You're my flesh and blood, after all … '
Lily was struck by the irony that she'd felt more – so much more – when she'd first met Declan just a few short weeks ago. They might not share a bloodline, but the bond between them, the instinctive connection, had been there from the word go.
People were stopping to see what was going on, to watch and listen to the family reunion that was being so assiduously recorded by the photographer.
‘Can we move somewhere more private?' Hearing the familiar rhythmic clunk of Dan's metal crutch on the pavement behind her, Lily realised that word of the meeting had spread and he'd come out to support her. Flashing him a look of gratitude over her shoulder, she turned back to Keir. ‘Follow me.'
‘Can I come along too?' Shaz had her cheery-but-sympathetic face on.
Lily shook her head. ‘No.'
‘Darling,' said Coral as Lily led Keir Bourne towards the gates of Goldstone House, ‘if you want me with you, just say.' Her cool nod in Keir's direction indicated precisely what she thought of him.
Lily was grateful, but there were too many customers; they couldn't all be left to fend for themselves. ‘It's OK, I'm taking Dan with me.'
Shaz said, ‘Well if you're having Dan, surely Keir could have me in with him? I'd be as quiet as a mouse, I promise!'
The photographer was still clicking away alongside them, muttering yes, yes to himself each time he got a good shot. Shaz was giving Dan a hopeful smile.
‘Oh dear, how can I put this?' said Lily. ‘Still no.'
Chapter 35
‘You're hurt,' Keir said, once the three of them were alone in the kitchen of Goldstone House. ‘I understand that. You've heard your mother's version of events, but you've never heard mine.'
‘Go on, then.' Lily sat down at the kitchen table to keep some distance between them. He was well dressed, wearing a dark blue crew neck sweater over a white shirt and dark grey trousers that looked brand new. Had he made the effort just for her?
‘Look, you have to understand how young we were. I was living at home, working for the family business. My parents went ballistic when they found out Jo was pregnant. And it was Jo's decision to take the money they gave her and disappear. I was the one who was abandoned,' said Keir. ‘If she'd stayed with me in Exeter, we could have made a go of things, I know we could.'
‘That's not what she told Coral,' Lily said evenly.
‘But Coral wasn't there, was she? Listen, I'm sorry you lost your mum, but maybe it made life easier for her to tell people she'd been abandoned. Maybe it was her way of getting sympathy … oh dear, I don't mean it badly, but perhaps she thought it was the best way to deal with a difficult situation. But she was a fantastic girl and I did love her.' He gestured helplessly. ‘I'm just trying to explain that I know you think I'm the bad guy here … but what if I'm not as bad as you think?'
Wasn't he? Lily didn't believe him. She wanted him to leave. But now that he was here, she also wanted to learn more details from him about her mum.
‘Tell me about how the two of you met.' At least she could do this; hearing the stories from Declan about his adventures with Jo in Barcelona had been such a joyful experience, creating brand-new memories for her to treasure forever. Even if her mum's relationship with this other man had ended badly, their first months together must have been happy.
‘Um … well, I suppose we were in a bar.'
‘And?' said Lily.
Keir looked baffled. Finally he shrugged. ‘We must have got chatting somehow. Then I'd have offered to buy her a drink … then we'd have talked some more.'