You And Me, Always(44)

‘Seeing Lily on the front page of the papers and discovering she's now  dating a mega-celebrity makes me more proud than I can say, but it also  tears me apart, knowing how many years of her life I've missed out on.  More than anything, I wish we could meet and get to know each other  properly.'

At this point, overcome with emotion, Keir wipes his eyes and asks for a  drink of water. It's achingly clear how much his long-lost daughter  means to him. Heaven knows, I'm a hard-nosed journalist, but even my  heart goes out to this likeable man. When I suggest gently that Lily may  wonder why he's left it until now to do this, Keir shakes his head and  explains to me that this isn't the first time he's tried to make  contact. In fact, he has met and spoken with Lily before.



What? WHAT?



‘Although she didn't find out I was her father,' he explains to me. ‘My  intention was to be discreet. I took the day off work and travelled to  Stanton Langley in search of my daughter and met up with someone who  knew her very well indeed. This person told me all about her, but  stressed that Lily was happy with the people she now knew as her parents  and had been brainwashed over time into thinking the worst of me. I  also met Lily herself and was struck by how comfortable and settled she  seemed. She was beautiful, chatty and friendly, everything you could  want a daughter to be. But thirteen is a tricky age and, not wanting to  cause upset and emotional trauma, I took the agonising decision not to  reveal my identity.

‘It was the hardest decision of my life.

‘Now, though, twelve years on, I feel she deserves to know that I've  always loved and missed her, and that what I did was only ever for the  best. If she can find it in her heart to meet me, I'd be the happiest  man in the world.'



Lily sat at the table and skimmed over the words again. When the kitchen  door was pushed open behind her, she knew from the rhythmic metallic  clunk who it was.

She quivered at the touch of Dan's hand on her bare shoulder. And now he  was standing beside her, his good arm resting against her back.

‘However you're feeling right now, it's OK to feel it.' He gave her a reassuring squeeze.

‘I have no idea how I feel, that's the weird thing.' Lily shrugged and  unthinkingly reached up to curl her fingers around his. ‘It's like my  mind's gone blank.' It was also weird for there to be this amount of  physical contact between them; due to the nature of their friendship,  they tended not to go in for touchy-feely gestures of concern or  affection. A playful thump on the arm was more their kind of thing.

‘Any memory of meeting him?' said Dan.

Lily shook her head. ‘None. But it's impossible  –  it could have happened  at any time. If I was thirteen, I was helping out in the yard whenever I  wasn't at school. I suppose he spoke to me there.'

‘And who did he talk to? Who gave him all that personal information?'

‘No idea. I can't believe someone told him so much about me and kept it a  secret all these years.' She tilted her head to gaze up at him. ‘Do you  think Coral knew?'

‘No way. She's as shocked as you.' Dan shook his head. ‘She definitely didn't have any idea.'

‘Everyone's going to be wondering how I am.' Lily rose to her feet. ‘We should get back out there. Thanks for coming in.'

‘Hey, why wouldn't I? Any time.'

They were facing each other, Dan's jean-clad thigh resting against the  side of the table, the characteristic spark of amusement missing for  once from his dark eyes. The connection between them stretched all the  way back through both their lives; he was as concerned about tonight's  developments as she was. Overcome with gratitude, and suddenly  experiencing a rush of confused emotion, Lily wrapped her arms around  him and buried her face in his good shoulder. In turn, Dan's arm  tightened around her and she felt the warmth of his breath against her  ear.                       
       
           



       

‘Don't worry,' he murmured into her hair. ‘Whatever happens, we'll get through this.'

And although Dan had a broken foot and a strapped-up arm, Lily knew that he was on her side and would defend her to the death.

Although hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

Before anyone else could burst in and misconstrue the situation, she  took a step back. ‘I know. Thank you. Come on, we'd better go.'





Chapter 34



The alarm was set for eight the next morning. Dan, who had barely slept,  lay in bed and watched the hands of the clock approach the moment the  ear-splitting bell was due to go off.

He'd broken his own strict rule last night, and now he knew how right  he'd been to impose it all those years ago. The rule had been: no matter  what the circumstances, never, ever give in to temptation and get  physically closer to Lily than you would to your bank manager.

It had been simultaneously the best and worst experience of his life,  and it must never be allowed to happen again. He'd been so desperately  close to losing the last vestige of control and kissing Lily in the way  he'd kissed her in his imagination more times than he'd ever dream of  admitting to a living soul.

One minute to eight. Mentally bracing himself for the blast of the  alarm, he forced himself to stop thinking about nearly kissing Lily.  They had far more important concerns today. There was every chance that  her biological father might turn up.



Patsy too had had precious little sleep. Alone in her bedroom, she had  read the online piece in the paper, her stomach churning with fear at  both Keir Bourne's words and the photograph of him twelve years on.

He hadn't mentioned her by name, which was obviously a relief, but she  was chillingly aware that she wasn't out of the woods yet.

Poor Lily.

Poor me.

Except I don't deserve any sympathy, do I?

No, you don't. None at all.

All she wanted to do was stay in bed with the covers pulled over her head.



Over at the Valentine, Eddie was packing up his belongings, ready to be collected and driven to Heathrow.

‘I wish I didn't have to leave you like this.' He paused and reached  down to kiss Lily, who was dressed and sitting cross-legged on the  king-sized bed with her iPad, studying the online comments left by the  newspaper's readers.

‘It's OK, I'm a grown-up. I can cope.' She returned the kiss. He had to  fly over to New York for meetings, and they weren't the kind where you  could call in sick with a croaky voice and cancel. ‘You have your job, I  have mine.'

‘Do you really need to work today? What if this guy turns up?'

This guy. It was how they'd been referring to Keir Bourne.

Lily shrugged. ‘If it's going to happen, it'll happen. I'm not going to  hide from him. You should see the messages some people are leaving on  here.' Fascinated, she scrolled through a few more.

Eddie said, ‘Rule number one, never, ever read the online comments. They'll melt your brain.'

‘"Does this girl think she's a celebritty now, just because she caught a  mouse? How pathetick that she is so desparate for attenttion she's  making up storys like this!" Wow,' said Lily. ‘And they managed to spell  almost every word wrong.'

She was doing her best to laugh it off, but just knowing that someone  actually thought she'd arranged the whole thing was a kick in the gut.

Another one said, ‘Why do the dad's always get the blame? Maybe the girl was just an ugly baby. Get overrrrr it!'

Next came: ‘It's the woman's fault for getting herself up the duff in the first place.'

Below which someone had replied: ‘Sexist pig!'

The next one said, ‘Probly her mother smoked fags and was a cheating bitch and that's why he left. Like my ex missus.'

Followed by: ‘How on earth is this news? Who are these people? DON'T CARE.'

Well, quite. For a split second, Lily was tempted to reply: Hear hear!

But no, she mustn't. That way madness lay.

She put down the iPad and sat back against the pillows, perfectly well  aware that reading the comments was her way of trying to distract  herself from what might happen later on today. A knot kept tightening in  her stomach at the thought of finally coming face to face with Keir  Bourne.

At that moment her phone rang and Dan's name flashed up. She pressed answer. ‘Hey, you're awake.'

‘I am. I know, it's like a miracle.' His tone softened. ‘How are you?'

The way he said it, the sound of his voice, made her feel the tiniest bit better. ‘Bearing up.'                       
       
           



       

‘Oh God, isn't that what women do when they're having a baby? Don't tell me you've gone into labour.'

He might drive her nuts, but he'd always been able to make her smile.  ‘That's bearing down. Shows how much you know about giving birth.'