‘You see, this is the difference between us. You just can't understand,' said Patsy. ‘If you don't want to do something, you don't do it. But when it happens to me … '
‘You were too embarrassed to say no.' Lily leapt to her defence.
‘Exactly.'
‘You're a people-pleaser.'
‘I am!' Was that so bad? When you were a hairdresser, it kind of went with the territory. If you didn't please people, you wouldn't last long in the job.
‘She didn't want to hurt his feelings,' Lily told Dan, who was notoriously less concerned with how other people felt.
‘In that case, better leave the next few minutes to me.' With a nod in the direction of the end of the road, Dan said, ‘He's on his way back now.'
Bugger, so he was. Patsy said, ‘I don't want to see him!' But if she tried to disappear inside the pub now, Derek would spot her running away from him.
‘Come on, into the van.' Evidently having worked out the angles, Lily pressed auto-unlock. ‘He won't be able to see you from here.'
Ducking down, heart thumping, Patsy kept out of view and jumped into the back of the van, pulling the door almost shut behind her with seconds to spare. She heard the squeak of the bike's brakes and the swish of tyres as Derek pulled up less than six feet away. His face wasn't visible – thankfully – but through the crack in the door she was able to see Lily and Dan.
‘Hello.' Derek paused to clear his throat. ‘Erm … I was wondering if you'd seen my cycling partner. She was with me when we came past a few minutes ago. Dark hair, pink shirt, jeans … '
‘And you've managed to lose her somewhere?' Dan looked amused.
‘Well, yes. Apparently so.'
‘Actually, we did see her,' said Dan. ‘She ran past us just now at quite a speed, heading in that direction.' He pointed to the right. ‘She was on her mobile, calling for a cab to come and pick her up.'
‘Oh. Right.'
‘On the bright side,' Dan continued, ‘at least it means she didn't fall off the back of your tandem. You don't have to send out a search party or wonder if she's lying dead in a ditch.'
‘Hmm.' Her erstwhile date didn't sound particularly relieved.
‘Oh dear. Is she your wife?'
‘Good God, no. Thank goodness,' Derek snorted.
Charming. Although under the circumstances, he was allowed to be a bit cross.
‘I like your leggings.' Changing the subject, Dan asked innocently, ‘Where did you get them?'
‘These? Ah well, they're from a specialist sportswear company, I order them online and-'
‘No! Barbara, over here,' Lily blurted out. Patsy heard the sudden patter of paws, accompanied by a yelp of excitement. ‘Barbara, don't do that, get down … '
Too late. Patsy made a futile grab at the van's back door, but there was no handle on the inside. A huge black paw effortlessly hooked the door open and Barbara appeared, barking in joyful recognition and wagging her tail.
Patsy wanted to die. Once, years ago, she'd been having a wee in the loo on the train when, without warning, the automatic door had slid open.
This was worse.
Derek stared into the van and she felt her skin prickle with shame. Since Barbara was now attempting to clamber up and join her, Patsy instead jumped down. ‘I'm sorry,' she said.
‘And so you should be.' He was still astride the front saddle of the tandem, his expression stony. ‘I thought we were going for a nice twenty-mile ride.'
Which was an oxymoron if ever she'd heard one. Nevertheless, she looked penitent. ‘I know. I'm not really a bicycle-y sort of person.'
His jaw jutted. ‘You should have told me.'
‘I didn't want to hurt your feelings.'
‘Out of interest,' Dan joined in, ‘why didn't you warn her you were going to turn up on a tandem?'
Derek shot him an impatient look. ‘Because then she would have made some excuse and ducked out. Everyone always does. It's something you have to experience first, then you fall in love with it. I'm serious.' Sweat dripped from his ruddy forehead as he nodded vigorously, pale eyes alight with fervour. ‘There's nothing better in the world than cycling.'
Personally, Patsy thought a nice gin and tonic beat cycling hands down. She shrugged and said, ‘Anyway, I'm sorry I ran away.'
‘It's no great loss.' Derek was dismissive now. ‘You're not my type anyway. To be honest, anyone who wears make-up isn't my cup of tea. It's not your fault,' he amended. ‘I should have stipulated that in my advert.'
Patsy nodded. ‘It might have been an idea.' And she should have stipulated that she wasn't interested in anyone who wore turquoise Lycra leggings. ‘Well, bye then.'
‘Goodbye. And just so you know, if anyone asks how our date went, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to give you a good review.'
‘That's fine.' Patsy thought it was probably more than fine, it was a blessing. Aloud she said, ‘I deserve it.'
Together they watched as Derek, for the second time, cycled off down the street.
‘And another one bites the dust,' said Dan.
Barbara, the huge black Labrador who belonged to one of the most regular of the pub's regulars, placed her paw on Patsy's knee as if sympathising with her tragic still-manless state.
‘I did ask him not to ride through the village, but he ignored me.' Patsy relived her horror when she'd realised he was going to go ahead and do it anyway. When you were on the back of a tandem, you didn't have much choice in the matter.
‘I don't think I want to speak to you any more.' Dan was shaking his head at her. ‘You shameless strumpet, plastering your face in … eurgh, all that disgusting make-up.'
Patsy picked up a cardboard beer mat and spun it at him like a weapon. Frustratingly, he employed his lightning reflexes to catch it, then flipped it into the air so that Barbara could leap up and grab it in her mouth.
‘Come on then.' Lily finished her drink and stood up, gesturing to Dan and jangling her keys. ‘Let's get you back to your car.'
Dan rose to his feet and gave Patsy a hug. ‘Bye then. See you in a couple of weeks. And don't worry, there has to be someone decent out there. We'll find him for you eventually.'
She hugged him in turn; they might tease each other endlessly, but he was her little brother – albeit a foot taller than her – and she loved him to bits.
‘Don't worry about me. I'm fine. And you look after yourself.' Drawing back, she shook her head at him. ‘I still can't believe they let you fly actual planes.'
Dan grinned. ‘That's nothing. I can't believe I let you cut my hair.'
He stowed his travel case in the back of the van, ruffled Barbara's ears by way of an au revoir and jumped into the passenger seat. Lily, starting the engine, leaned out of the driver's window and said, ‘See you tomorrow.'
Tomorrow was Lily's birthday; she would be twenty-five. Patsy smiled, because they all knew it was set to be an especially significant day. She nodded and waved at them both. ‘Oh yes, you definitely will.'
The van pulled away and disappeared up the road. Barbara, panting in the heat and now in search of shade and a bowl of cold water, wandered back inside the pub. And Patsy, finding herself with an unexpectedly free evening, set off in the direction of home.
As she was letting herself into the cottage, her phone began to ring. Surprised by the name on the screen, she answered it and said, ‘Rosa, hello! How are things with you? It's been ages.'
Rosa had worked for her here at the salon years ago. Now married and living in London with her taxi-driver husband and three young children, she'd stayed in touch via Facebook, but they hadn't seen each other since the birth of Rosa's middle child. The good intentions were always there, but – as they had a habit of doing – life and work had simply got in the way.
‘Everything's great!' Rosa sounded buoyant. ‘OK, now listen, I've got something to ask you. And this might sound a bit weird, but I promise you it's not bad weird.'
‘Okaaay.' Intrigued, Patsy picked up the crumb-strewn plate and empty Twix wrapper Dan had left on the coffee table; honestly, for someone without an ounce of fat on him, he didn't half eat some rubbish. ‘What's it about?'
‘A friend of a friend needs a favour. Nothing illegal. But it has to be someone who can definitely keep a secret.' Rosa paused, as in the background another phone began to ring. ‘Which is why I thought of you.'