You And Me, Always(19)

‘She fancied you rotten,' Coral supplied with a grin, ‘but she needed to  be certain before anything happened. She said it was like starting at a  brand-new school and making friends with the first person who spoke to  you, then realising a month later that you'd gone and got yourself stuck  with a complete weirdo and there was no escape.' She paused. ‘Not that  you were a weirdo, of course. But you have to make sure.'                       
       
           



       

‘Plus I kind of had a girlfriend,' Declan admitted, ‘although I finished  with her two days after first setting eyes on Jo. A week later, I told  Jo she was the reason. And the day after that, a group of us left work  at midnight and went out to join a party down on Barceloneta beach.'

‘And ended up staying there all night. This was taken at seven o'clock  the next morning, by one of Declan's friends.' Lily gazed lovingly at  the glossy snap, with the remains of a barbecue in the foreground and a  hazy sunrise behind them turning the sky palest pink and the sea liquid  silver. Her mum and Declan were half sitting, half lying back on their  elbows with their heads tilted together and her mum's left foot touching  Declan's right ankle. It was all there in the eyes, in the secret  smiles on their tanned faces, and in the glow of happiness surrounding  them. They were young, they were healthy and they were free to do  whatever they liked. Her mum was wearing a short ruffled skirt and an  oversized white T-shirt that had slipped off one shoulder, with a pink  halter-neck bikini top visible beneath it. Declan's own shorts and shirt  were both wet from the sea.

‘I remember Jo telling me about that night on the beach.' Coral's eyes  lit up. ‘Someone had a boombox and you were all dancing to Fairground  Attraction. Remember that song? It's got to be-ee-eeee-eee  … '

‘Perfect,' said Declan. ‘Ha, yes, we were. And we danced to that song by Bros, too. "I Owe You Nothing".'

‘Bros?' Lily couldn't keep a straight face. ‘That's a bit embarrassing.'

He shrugged good-naturedly. ‘Tell me about it.'

To tease him, Lily sang, ‘I owe you nothinnggg  … ' and did a couple of  pointy-fingered gestures into the air before suddenly wondering what she  was doing and tucking her hands back down at her sides.

‘That's how Jo used to dance to it,' said Declan. ‘Exactly the same.'

‘She had that song on a cassette tape,' Coral joined in. ‘It was one of  your favourites when you were little. You used to beg her to play it  over and over again.'

Lily turned to her. ‘I did? Really?'

‘The two of you used to dance around to it together.' Coral did the  pointy-fingered hand movements. ‘Just like that. When you were three. It  was hilarious to watch  –  you used to take it all so seriously and get  so cross if you ever made a mistake.'

‘OK, thanks a lot, you can stop now. And to think I called you embarrassing,' she said ruefully to Declan.

‘Hey, you were three years old. I was nineteen.'

Lily could just picture her mum and the young Declan together; she could  imagine them dancing wildly on the beach as the stars faded from the  sky, the sun rose above the horizon and the dawn chorus filled the air.  Vying, of course, with the equally chirpy sounds of Matt and Luke Goss.

There were other photos too, of Declan and her mum either singly or  together, depending on whether there had been anyone else around to take  the pictures. Sometimes they were part of a group of friends, all  making the most of their year in Barcelona, cavorting in the sea,  climbing mountains or socialising with drinks at pavement cafés.

‘You can see the connection between you.' Lily looked at Declan. ‘You  can feel it. I mean, I'm not just imagining it, am I? It's really and  truly there.'

‘I think so.' He nodded. ‘It definitely felt like it at the time.'

‘It's such a shame you broke up. Apart from me not being here if you  hadn't.' It was kind of a weird thing to think about. She was inclined  to believe that if her mum and Declan had stayed together and had a  baby, that baby would still somehow have been her, only this time with  two parents who loved each other. Wouldn't that have been nice?

‘I know. If our universities hadn't been so far apart, I think we might  have managed it. As it was,' said Declan, ‘we ended up having-'

His phone was ringing. As he took it out of his pocket and saw the name flashing up, he winced. ‘Oh God.'

‘It's fine.' Coral was already on her feet. ‘We'll go into the kitchen, leave you in peace.'

‘No need. My fault.' Declan pressed answer. ‘Gail, sorry, I'm not going  to be able to get over for dinner.' Pause. ‘I know, I know, I meant to  and completely forgot.' Pause. ‘No, I'm not in London.' Long pause. ‘I'm  in the Cotswolds. Stanton Langley.' Even longer pause, during which  Lily and Coral were both able to hear Gail's exclamation of disbelief,  followed by a rattle of words they couldn't make out.                       
       
           



       

Which was probably a good thing.

‘I know, but I did,' Declan replied patiently. ‘And it's been a  fantastic day. Look, everything's fine. I'll speak to you tomorrow, tell  you all about it then.'

‘Oh dear,' said Coral when the call had ended. ‘I feel terrible now.  Like a mistress!' Then her cheeks turned pink at the realisation of what  she'd just blurted out.

‘Is your girlfriend incredibly jealous?' Lily was curious.

Declan shook his head. ‘No, she's really not. Just organised and  efficient. She's cooked dinner for me and I'm not there. That's why  she's a bit put out.'

‘Understandable,' said Coral. ‘Well, if you're not rushing back, will you stay and have something to eat with us?'

Stay, stay, Lily mentally willed him. Staaaaaaay.

And without even being aware of the message she was sending out, Declan smiled and said easily, ‘Sounds great.'

Hooray for secret messages!

‘Well it might be.' Coral's eyes were sparkling. ‘Keep your fingers crossed.'





Chapter 18



They moved inside. A bottle of wine was opened and Coral began putting a  meal together in her characteristic slapdash-but-hopefully-successful  way. An hour later they sat down at the scrubbed oak table in the  kitchen and ate king prawns in chilli and garlic, followed by fried  chicken with green beans, new potatoes and hollandaise. And maybe the  chicken was a bit burnt and the green beans too crunchy, but who cared?  The company was wonderful. For pudding they had Jaffa Cakes.

‘So how exactly did you and Mum break up?' Lily was busy separating the orange jelly from the sponge part of her Jaffa Cake.

‘Well basically, the distance was too great and I think we were both too  proud.' Declan shrugged and stirred his coffee. ‘We discussed it over  and over again, with each other and with our friends. Could we cope,  being that far apart? It was a ten-hour drive from Fife to Exeter, if  either of us even owned a car capable of getting that far, which of  course we didn't. There were no cheap airfares back then. Even trains  and coaches cost more than we could afford. Which meant we wouldn't be  seeing each other for months on end.'

Coral nodded sympathetically. ‘Jo told me about that. It must have been so horrible for you both.'

‘It was.' Declan sighed. ‘Everyone else told us we'd be crazy to even  try to keep things going when what we were meant to be doing was having  fun and enjoying university life. In the end, Jo said maybe we should  accept the situation and make a clean break. I was horrified, but she  made it sound as if it was what she wanted, and I wasn't going to beg.  So I pretended to agree.'

‘She only said it in the first place because she thought it was what you secretly wanted,' said Coral.

‘At the time, it didn't occur to me. Jo was upset with me, I was upset  with her, and we ended up doing the thing neither of us wanted to do.'  Declan raised his hands in defeat. ‘And that was it, no going back. The  decision had been made.'

‘Oh God.' Lily was only too easily able to envisage it.

‘It was pretty awful,' Declan said. ‘We'd agreed not to contact each  other, once we'd made the break. So I went up to St Andrews and Jo went  off to Exeter, and we stuck it out. The first six months were awful, but  I got through it and gradually things became easier. The following May,  I started seeing someone else. Then in June, I did hear from Jo. She  sent me a letter asking if I fancied taking off to Barcelona for the  summer. But I'd already arranged a job with my flatmate's dad and I  couldn't let him down. Plus, my girlfriend saw the letter and wasn't  amused.'