"I didn't."
She pushed past him to the bedroom, pacing, feeling trapped. She could hardly breathe and the pressure in her skull was so great, she cupped the sides of her head.
"I need to think." But all she could grasp was that they'd been having sex without protection. Lots of it. "Why can't I control myself around you? Why am I so stupid?"
Stavros had been dodging this sort of thing from the moment he'd become sexually active. He'd always been diligent about protecting himself as well as his partner, using condoms every single time he had sex. He might have a reckless streak, but he wasn't stupid.
Given how adamant Calli had been that she didn't want children, he had trusted her to take her pills. For the first time in his life, he'd started going bareback. He loved it.
Now he was reaping the consequence. And he might have suspected her of doing this deliberately if she hadn't looked so much like a loved one had died.
"Is this really such a disaster?"
He never would have gotten her pregnant on purpose, but by accident? His hunger for her was showing no signs of abating and, as his mind raced through the ramifications, it hit him that an accidental pregnancy could be a really convenient way of prolonging their arrangement. It wasn't selfish. It was decent. Right.
"Make another baby with a man who thinks I'm in it for the money? Who plans to divorce me in a couple of months? What then, Stavros? Do I find myself someone even richer than you so I can have access to my child?" She was like a cat, swift in her turn and swipe of sharp claws. "Yes, this is a disaster!"
"We could stay married," he growled.
"Do you love me?"
He instinctively recoiled. Why the hell would she even want him to?
She made a noise too injured to be classified as a laugh. A sharp inhale that dragged over razors. "That's what I thought."
"Calli-" He took a step toward her.
She held him off with an outstretched arm. Her fingers were white at the tips and trembled. "I can't do this again. I can't."
"I don't think you planned this," he said through his teeth.
"Yes, you do." Her voice throbbed with such profound defeat it made his heart clench. She looked to the ceiling. "And there I would be, stuck in a marriage with a man who resents me, just so I could be part of my child's life. I'm really making progress on making better life decisions, aren't I? God, I hate myself right now."
"Calli." He tried to take her by the arms, but she shrank away.
"Can you..." Her voice thinned to nothing and she swallowed. "Can you go arrange the car or something? I need a few minutes."
CHAPTER NINE
THEY BARELY SPOKE all the way back to New York. It wasn't an angry silence, just a thick, significant one. They had no sooner landed and she picked up a text from his sister, reminding Calli she had promised to help with her art-exhibit preparations.
While Stavros's middle sister played an active role in the company, coordinating the many women's health interests, his youngest sister painted. Beautifully.
"No, you have to come," she insisted when Calli tried to get out of it. "You had such a good eye for that mat on my seascape."
Calli had had dumb luck when she had set a sample next to the painting, picking up an understated tone so the entire piece popped in a fresh way. She had only agreed to help with the rest of the framing because she hadn't known how to say no nicely.
"You have to tell them," she said to Stavros when she got off the phone. She meant that he had to explain their marriage was temporary.
"We don't know, do we?" he said without inflection.
Even without shades of anger or blame, it was an arrow through the heart.
She had stopped taking the pills altogether and was waiting for her cycle. Please, God, let her get her period. And since she didn't want to take any further risks of a pregnancy, she supposed disappearing for a few days to the family estate and not sleeping with her husband was a good thing. At least it was something to occupy her mind, rather than obsessing over the child she had and the imaginary one that terrified her because she couldn't say outright that she didn't want it.
She returned to the penthouse a few days later, in time to accompany her husband to his grandfather's retirement party. Once again, she felt like the biggest con artist alive when Edward Michaels singled her out for praise.
"The recent addition of Calli to our family has been a breath of fresh air. I have often believed I knew better than my grandson, but in marrying her, he has proved to me his decisions are sound."
Everyone chuckled while Calli stared at the single drop of red wine that stained the tablecloth in front of her.
"I miss my son every single day," Edward continued. "But I could not be prouder of the heir he gave me in his stead. I know the future of Dýnami is in good hands and I have no qualms leaving it for him to steer."
Stavros seemed a little stunned by what sounded like heartfelt praise. He made a warm and respectful toast, his voice just a tiny bit unsteady. Most wouldn't have noticed, but his mother leaned in to say, "Those two. All I ever see when they're at each other's throats is my husband. They act like they hate each other, but their love runs so deep..." She blinked and small tears hit her lined cheeks.
Calli waited until the applause had died away, then asked, "Did Stavros fight with his father?"
"Oh!" She rolled her eyes. "He was the most headstrong boy. Even before he could speak, he was challenging the both of us. I honestly didn't know what to do with him. And he has never forgiven himself for the accident. I genuinely feared for what he would do to himself without a strong man in his life. When Edward said he wanted to bring us here, of course I went along. It was my children's future. I didn't agree with everything he did, of course. He was hurting, too. We often had words about his decisions."
"In front of the children?"
"Oh, goodness no. The Xenakis men do not enjoy being challenged in front of an audience. They will dig in just to be perverse. No, you pick your time and attack when they least expect it." She made a jabbing motion, as though wielding a pocketknife. "A little advice from a mother who knows." She winked.
Calli chuckled, surprised by this sly side in such an elegant woman. "Stavros told me Edward refused to hear Greek in the house."
"Because our English was terrible! If we were going to live here, we needed to assimilate. Before my husband died, I was so afraid he would take me away from everything I knew, but even I agreed with Edward when it came to giving the children their best advantage. Stavros likes to make out that Edward is some kind of tyrant, but..."
"It takes one to know one?" Calli guessed.
His mother laughed with great enjoyment. "You've met my son! If he only knew the number of times Edward begged me to take him back to Greece and leave him there." She smiled, but it wobbled. "We used to laugh and cry then, both of us missing my Stavros so badly."
Calli squeezed her arm and tilted her head against the woman's shoulder in a show of compassion.
Stavros returned to their table, brows raised in query as he saw the affection between them.
"We're bonding," his mother said, catching at Calli's face and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Your grandfather isn't the only one who is pleased with at least one of your decisions."
He made some dry remark and the evening continued, but he brought it up when they came into the penthouse after midnight.
"What were you and my mother talking about?"
"Your father. And that she didn't regret bringing you here because she thought you needed your grandfather's influence growing up."
He made a face, one that suggested he might have to reluctantly concede that.
"I'm going to bed," she said, and halted when he said, "Where?"
She turned back, not saying anything. She'd been sleeping in the guest room.
He sighed. "I can wear a condom."
"I won't relax until I know."
The restless look he gave her made her skin tighten. He was thinking about seducing her.
"Don't." It was more plea than order and made him look away.
He hissed out another breath. "Go to bed, then."
Stavros had mountains of work ahead of him, now that he had achieved the pinnacle position in the company. He ought to be immersing himself in it, but found himself with palms flat on his desk, staring discontentedly at the email from Norma.
A letter was forwarded a week ago to the family we believe adopted Dorian. No response yet.
A letter. What kind of letter? To whom exactly? If he was this impatient for answers, he could only imagine how Calli felt.
Calli. He hit Forward on the email, sent it to her, then sat down, prickling with tension. Along with due process, Mother Nature was also taking her time providing news.