Wyatt-1(Lane Brothers, Book 1)(22)

This is a big deal as I dip my toe into the water and test the temperature for myself. I only shower at home, and then it’s timed to the second because I’ve had my fair share of water nightmares after Bolton’s bathtub.

It seems okay, so I take the first step down into the water and pause, letting the sensations wash over my skin.

“You doing okay, Ellie?”

“Fine, just adjusting.”

Lies. I’m trying not to freak out and run screaming from this place like a mad woman. More minutes pass and I move in up to my hips. Still okay, still okay, I keep chanting before taking that last step down that submerges me up to the very tops of my shoulders. To say I’m jittery is an understatement. I want to run, plain and simple.

Until Wyatt steps in and comes up behind me, wrapping his strong arms around my torso from behind. At his touch, my skin tingles with awareness, but I notice that my muscles liquefy immediately and that panic disappears in the blink of an eye.

Just like that, I’m not afraid and desperately fighting an internal battle. I’m safe, I know it, and from just one simple touch from him.

“Good. Now take a deep breath and let’s enjoy this time, Ellie. We’ll have to go home soon enough and face the realities we can’t escape all too soon.”

That sounds cryptic, but I shrug it off and move forward, letting the water wash it all away so I’m able to enjoy being young and free with a hot guy, who is definitely my college self’s dream hunk.

We swim around for another half hour or so, splashing and laughing-me trying not to stare holes into his muscular physique-before he calls it quits and whips me out of the water.

“You’re pruny.”

“Geez, don’t try to compliment me so much, it’ll give me an ego.”

“Sarcasm. So witty, Miss Carver.” He laughs, leading me to the loungers and the tall glasses of iced water I didn’t notice before.

“Okay. Now we talk, yeah?” I say after draining my glass and throwing on the robe he’s provided.

“Talk. Damn, baby, is this one of those instances where you lull me by being all soft and then wham me with the hard stuff?” he gripes, leaning up on his elbow as I take a seat and fold my legs beneath me.

“Nope, I’ve decided something, and I want to talk about it before we go any further. I’ve been thinking, and, well, I like you, Wyatt Lane. I like you a lot.”

“Music to my ears.”

“Oh hush. Like I was saying, I like you, but I’m not exactly sure where things are going with us. No, don’t interrupt. Just listen. Firstly, you know a lot of stuff about me that I’m not comfortable with you knowing, whether you care about it or not, that’s how I feel. Then I need to say that the way I’ve been lately is not the norm. I need all of that routine to make me feel all right with the world, no matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise.”

He doesn’t like that, I can see it, but he manages to keep it to himself and gives me a nod.

“Noted. I need to set up a routine for us. What else?”

“Well, you probably want us to sleep together or something.”

“Uh, that would be a positive response from the salivating man in front of you.” He laughs, looking down at his lap ruefully.

It amuses me enough that I giggle, despite my nerves, and manage to meet his gaze.

“I am attracted to you like you wouldn’t believe, Wyatt, and I do want you. I’m just not sure about all the set-in-stone stuff that comes along with being with you. What if we’re together and one of us wants out? I can’t—”

“I will never want out, Ellie. I told you, I love you. I’ve never loved another woman before, so I’m going on record saying that this is my forever.”

“Well, what if I want to walk away?” I ask, wincing at the callousness of my words.

What if he’s a toenail-picking kind of guy or does something equally annoying down the road? It’s not out of the realm of possibility, you know.

“Then it’s up to me to try harder, Ellie, that’s all. If somewhere down the line you need some space and time to settle things in your mind, or if you just…don’t want me anymore, then it’s something I’ll have to accept because I love you enough to want you to be happy. I’ll do everything I can not to let you feel that way, though, so prepare to be wooed,” he says, grinning when my eyes widen.

“Okay.”

Now I’ve done it.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Let’s try this whole dating, sleeping together, and being a couple thing. I like you enough to want to try.”

He swallows, and I notice that he seems nervous all of a sudden.