Blech. I’d stopped pounding on the box top in order to keep them from crawling into me.
“My throat was bleeding when he opened the lid hours later, and I learned one thing I will never forget. I may have thought I was stronger, more resilient, but there are always ways for people to hurt you. Always, and Bolton Conrad broke me that day. I didn’t try to run after that. I was cowed and broken and I don’t know if I’ll ever be right again.”
I want to be now that I know this good man and his family. I want in there so that I won’t be alone, so I can have that closeness I haven’t had in years.
“He didn’t break shit, he just made you stronger than you should be, baby. You’re not weak for wanting to survive.”
“I didn’t, though. I wanted to die. I just couldn’t risk another torture like that one.”
We say nothing more for a long time. He just holds me and rocks gently as I sit quietly and think of every moment he stole and every minute I can never get back.
Is this what I want? Can I honestly say I want to live this way, half dead and not caring when I used to want nothing more than to live, love, and be happy?
I don’t want what he did to steal any more precious time from me, and I know just where to start looking for the happiness I’ve denied myself for so long.
“Ellie?”
“Hmm?”
I’m mellow and relaxed now that I have my mind made up and am ready to take what I want.
“Don’t take this the wrong way and hit me, baby.”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
Chapter Seven
Ellie
You could knock me down with nothing more than a breath right now, I’m so shocked, and I think he knows it when he takes my shoulders and pushes me back gently.
The look in his eyes is gentle and resigned, because he knows I’m not close to that level of emotion and trust yet.
“Wyatt.”
“Shh, no, I don’t expect an answer from you now, and I wouldn’t believe it anyway, baby. I know you need time and I’ll give it to you. I just had to tell you because I can’t keep it in anymore. I love you and I want you. If you take ten years to feel that way, I can deal, just know that no matter what you say I’m not letting you go.”
All I can do is nod my head. My throat is too tight to speak right now, and even if I could, what’s there to say? I could love him, but not before I’ve figured out a way to love myself.
“Come on, up and at ‘em. Breakfast and then I think we should explore the indoor pool and all it has to offer.”
I scramble up and stand uncertainly as he makes his way to the door before turning back to me.
“He won’t ever hurt you again, Ellie. No one will, I swear it.”
He leaves me standing there, shocked, a little heartsick, and totally feeling…something I can’t name.
I make my way to the shower and spend my time on autopilot while I think about everything.
Would it be so bad to give in? The sex would be good. I know that without a doubt.
I shampoo my hair while thinking things through, and by the time I’ve dried and dressed, I have my answer and my next move.
Taking the stairs quickly, I reach the kitchen and feel a smile break loose. He’s cooking again, and it smells so good that my stomach lets off a monster growl.
“Oh hey, baby, you hungry?”
For more than food. I feel a blush heat my cheeks.
“Sure. Can I do anything?”
“Butter some toast? Oh hey, Ma called this morning and asked if you prefer creams or whites.”
“Huh?”
Please, Jesus, not the wedding stuff again. I’m all for trying to have something with Wyatt, but just thinking about a wedding now, so soon, and without me knowing all I need to know, gives me the scratch.
He shrugs casually and goes back to the stove and the hash browns he’s frying up. He’s not looking directly at me, hasn’t since I came into the kitchen, and is keeping his back turned. Suspicious and unsettling…
“Don’t ask me, I don’t have a clue. She just called and threw it at me. I chose cream since you’ve been drowning in white in that mausoleum you call a bedroom.”
“Cream is fine. So, I’ve been thinking…”
That gets his attention and he turns.
I swallow and try to shove my tongue down my throat lest it roll out and start sampling the floor at the view I get of his front. He’s dressed in a T-shirt and loose sweats this morning, as if he’s been working out, and the sweats…are not doing a very good job of hiding his erection.
“Huh?”
Don’t look away, Ellie. If you do he’ll think you’re turning away again, and that isn’t something you want, remember?