“I need to talk to Miles,” I say, attempting to sit up.
Dev gently pushes on my shoulder. “Just relax. There’s plenty of time.”
“No, I need to do it now.” I hold out my hand. “Can I borrow your phone?”
Dev hands me his cell without another word.
I dial Miles’s number and start speaking as soon as he answers. “Hi, it’s me.”
“Jenny? Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Thanks for asking. Listen, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
“Just . . . listen. Okay?” I take a big breath and let it out slowly before continuing. “About the other night, when you broke in to the house . . .”
“Yeah, I . . .”
“You can’t do that anymore. Ever. It’s my house and the things inside it are mine, and that’s the end of the story.”
“I know. I get it. I was just . . . acting stupid.” He sounds ashamed, which makes me happy.
“Good. I’m glad you’re admitting that. Anyway, I also wanted to say that I think you need to do a better job of being a father to our kids.”
He doesn’t respond, so I keep on going. I’m on a roll and I can’t chicken out. These things need to be said, for our children if not for my sanity. “All these weekends you either skip or cut short—it has to stop. You’re hurting the kids and you’re going to ruin your relationship with them. They need their father.”
“You have a new boyfriend.” He sounds surly now. Hurt, maybe. That’s good. I can work with that.
“So what? He’s not their father and you shouldn’t expect him to be.”
“No, I don’t. I didn’t mean that. I’m just . . .” He hisses out a sigh of frustration. “I’m just a little messed up right now. I’m not happy.” He lowers his voice. “I’m regretting some of the decisions I made.”
I want to stand up and cheer. “I’m not surprised. You’ve made some pretty terrible ones.” Like breaking my heart, for one. But now I’m kind of glad he did that, because if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have this tall, beautiful man and his adorable son in my life. I reach out and put my hand on Dev’s arm. He covers my fingers with his.
“Can I ask you a crazy question?” Miles says.
“Sure.”
“Do you think you’d ever want to get back together with me? Hypothetically speaking, that is.”
“No.” I say this with a firmness in my heart, mind, and soul. “Never. We were a bad match, Miles. We make beautiful babies together, but we create way too much misery when we stay in the same room for too long. I like how things are right now, with the caveat that you are going to step up to the plate.”
“Step up to the plate, huh?”
“Yes. Attend birthday parties. Take the kids on alternate holidays. Keep them for the full weekend. Feed them like a parent, not a teenager. Candy is not one of the four food groups.”
He laughs softly. “I was getting kind of tired of the stomachaches.” He pauses. “But . . .” He doesn’t finish.
“But what?” I ask.
“It’s stupid. Never mind.”
“No, nothing is stupid when it concerns our kids. What? Tell me.”
“What if they don’t like me? What if I tell them no more candy and no more trips to the pizza place, and they tell me they don’t want to hang out with me anymore?”
“Miles, you have to stop trying to be their friend and start being their father. They have enough friends, but only one dad. They love you. They want to just be with you. You don’t have to be a Disneyland dad. Just be yourself.” He may be a prick for a husband, but he’s a decent person when he makes the effort. I never would have married him otherwise.
There’s a long silence before he speaks again. “Thanks for calling. I’m glad you’re okay. You had me worried. I visited, but you were completely out of it. It made me think about . . . well, let’s just say it wasn’t anything good and leave it at that.”
“You’re welcome.” I glance at Dev and he nods. “But don’t worry, I’m fine. When are you coming to get the kids?”
“This weekend. I’ll be keeping them through Sunday at eight.”
“Great. Thanks. See you.”
“Yeah. See you. And for the record, I’m glad you’re happy. Dev seems like a nice guy.”
I can’t stop smiling. “Yeah. He’s pretty great.”
Dev points to himself and I nod, shutting the call down.
We stare at each other for a long while. I’m beyond thrilled to know this man is an official part of my life, but a little piece of me can’t help but worry at all this happiness. Is it just a passing phase? Will he turn out to be a jerk, like Miles did?