“I don’t mean to put pressure on you,” he says.
I shake my head. “No, I’m happy.” I try to grin, but it wavers.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, looking at me so seriously, so earnestly, it makes tears come to my eyes.
“Nothing. I’m just being an idiot is all. Status quo.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’ve done something wrong.”
“No.” I place my other hand over his. “You’ve done everything right. I really like you. I just worry that we’re rushing into this and it seems so amazing . . . I’m worried I’m going to ruin it.”
He gives me a sad smile. “You too, huh?”
I nod. “I’m not normal.”
He reaches up and strokes my cheek tenderly with a finger. “I hate normal. So boring. So predictable.”
I look down, trying to control my emotions. Nothing can take the smile off my face, though. “Good thing.”
It seems like a couple minutes go by before either of us speaks again.
“We still on for Halloween?” he asks.
I look up and nod. This is safe ground. Our kids in costumes. This I can handle. “Yep.”
“Great. So, I’ll see you next week? Your place?”
I nod, wondering if this means I won’t see him at work. “Sure.”
“I’ll come around five o’clock so we can be sure we don’t have any wardrobe malfunctions.”
“Yes. Good idea.” I casually push my dress down to where it belongs and make sure my buttons are all done up and nothing’s hanging out where it shouldn’t.
Dev places his hand on my leg as I’m about to open the back door. “Promise me something.”
I look down at his hand and then up at his face. His expression is unreadable.
“What?”
“Promise you’ll always be honest with me. You’ll always tell me exactly what you’re feeling when I ask.”
I nod, happy to make that promise. I don’t want any more lies or games in my life, especially not from a guy like Dev. I can’t afford to be emotionally devastated right now. I have kids, barely a job, and a mortgage, not to mention a bruised heart. “I will if you will.”
“Deal.” He leans in and gives me a very thorough kiss before leaning back. “Stay there,” he says, opening his door and launching himself out of the backseat. He’s surprisingly agile considering his size and the fact that his pants are still half undone.
He comes around the back of the car and opens my door, offering me his hand. He’s all put together, with his pants zipped up and his shirt tucked in, and except for the sweating, you’d never know he just had hot sex in the backseat. I take his extended hand in mine and step out like I’m a princess about to be presented to her subjects. A princess who just got it on like Donkey Kong in the back of a Phoenix, yo!
Standing in front of him properly dressed again and smelling like hot slippery bodies, I look up and smile. “Thank you for the sex.”
He smiles slowly, devastating me all over again with that dimple. “You’re welcome. And thank you for the sex, too.”
“You’re welcome. See you at work?” I walk off slowly, leaving my awkward farewell on the table. I don’t know how to be cool when I’m falling in love, and I’m a little afraid of what this might mean for my life and my children, but I’m still willing to take the risk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and there’s so much to gain with this gorgeous man who just had awesome sex with me in the back of his Pontiac.
“Yeah. See you real soon.”
I wonder if he’s going to reach out and pull me back, but he doesn’t. He lets me go, and that’s okay. I’m happy, content, still coming down off my sexy high. I walk over to my car, my head up, my body appreciating the fresh evening air, even though it’s muggy and warm, and my thoughts floating lazily around my brain. I feel enveloped in something nice. Maybe real, true, rock-my-entire-world love. Whatever it is, I like it, and I’m not going to ruin it by over-analyzing it right now.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I can’t believe Halloween has arrived. I just got the last bits of our costumes together yesterday, and here we are, waiting for Dev and Jacob to arrive at our house.
“When are they gonna be here?” Sammy whines. His little finger starts lifting toward his face.
I grab his hand, stopping him before he can smear his makeup. He didn’t want to wear his mask, so I had to improvise a Spider-Man face with lots of eyeliner and dark eyeshadow. We’ll be lucky if he makes it out the door without destroying it.
“They’ll be here soon. Just relax. I still have to put my costume on.” I stood in front of the Halloween section of the local craft store yesterday for a half an hour, trying to decide if I was going to go with the standard witch look, or kick it up a notch. There was a French maid’s costume that was particularly tempting, but in the end, I decided it was probably better to be a little more subtle. Sophie’s already suspicious enough of my motives toward Dev. I think her father getting a girlfriend has been a real problem for her. Another issue for me to deal with.