Wrong For You (Before You Series Book 3)(65)

She heard Alec and Ryder’s voices as she retreated, but she couldn’t even process the words. Blind panic slithered through her until she became an unfocused shell of herself. The minute she walked into the room she collapsed onto her bed, holding the pillow over her face, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping it would keep reality away, but…fuck…it smelled like him and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Every kiss, every touch, every smile they had shared flickered through her mind, tormenting her.

Maybe a minute or an hour later, she didn’t know, the bed dipped next to her and she didn’t bother lifting the pillow from her now dry face. Ryder or Alec, it didn’t matter which one. She didn’t want to talk to either at that moment.

“Little Violet,” Alec said, his deep voice hoarse, thick, and swimming with regret. “I’m so sorry.”

With those words, the dull ache in her chest expanded and accelerated until she was sure she was bleeding, and not just metaphorically. “Why?” she said, forcing the words from her too dry throat.

“I can explain,” he said, running his fingertips along her bare exposed arm, her skin prickling. She flinched, twisting her body away from him, hating his lying touch.

When he didn’t stop, she threw the pillow covering her face across the room. “You can explain why you made a fool out of me or why you toyed with a dumb, small town girl? Did you do this as some sick, twisted game because I didn’t recognize you?”

Alec’s eyes darted away, guilt carved into every line of his face. She could almost see his mind turning, relentlessly searching for a reason that would explain why he lied about his identity. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t…” his voiced trailed off as though he couldn’t find the right words.

She wanted to scream at him, hit him. Instead, a sharp peel of laughter exploded out of her mouth, exposing the otherwise hidden level of hysteria that crept into her mind. He was the one who made her dinner, who kissed her, who made her fall in love with him. Just as the thought registered, her stomach revolted, twisting uncomfortably inside of her, because it was the truth. She still loved Alec, but now she didn’t even know what that meant because she didn’t even know him…not the real him, anyway. She rolled onto her side, draping a limp arm over her face. She didn’t want him to see the tears that broke free once again, carrying away little bits of her heart with them as they washed down her face and evaporated into thin air. If only the memory of him could evaporate as easily… “Can you go? You’ve had your fun,” she said in a strangled voice.

“I wanted to tell you. I really did. I didn’t mean for it to happen like this.”

“When? Before or after you fucked me, or were you saving the big reveal for the day you left Montana? You know, a little parting surprise. Oh, and by the way, I’m famous, but it was fun slumming it with you. Have a nice life,” she mocked in a patronizing tone.

He reached for her hand, pulling it from her face. She slapped him away. “Don’t touch me,” she warned through clenched teeth, her voice unnaturally flat and totally lifeless.

“Dammit, Violet, it wasn’t like that. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you’d give me a chance to know you otherwise. You’re not the type of woman I normally date. You’re too good for me.”

“Seriously?” She sat up on her bed, letting her legs dangle off the side. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

He wrapped his arms around her so quickly she didn’t have a chance to push him away this time. “I wanted to tell you so many times and last night after I met with my dad, I tried, but it didn’t happen. You told me nothing I could say would change your mind.”

Prying her hands between their bodies, she tried to shove him away. For a long second, he tightened his arms around her and she inhaled his spicy, citrus scent, letting it fill her lungs and sear her heart with bittersweet love and betrayal. When he lowered his head and brushed his lips across the top of her hair, she clung to him, burrowing her hands into his shirt, running her nose along his chest while her heart begged her to give him another chance, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be a weak little puppet, so she shoved the words she needed to say out of her mouth. “I can’t do this now. I need space. I can’t think around you.”

He nodded, then dropped his arms before standing up near the edge of her bed, staring at her with miles of regret and sadness. “I never meant to hurt you. Please remember that.” His words were so soft, reverent even, and so uncharacteristically Alec that she had to look at him even though it hurt to do so.