Alec’s stomach rolled at the reference to that day. In his mind, he still couldn’t process that he didn’t cause Jim’s death. It didn’t matter what the Foundation’s counselors said to him as a kid and it didn’t matter what the five hundred dollar an hour therapists told him in LA. Jim would still be alive and Taylor would still have her dad if it weren’t for him and his big mouth. “You should’ve left us alone.”
“Maybe, but from the minute I found out you were mine for sure, I wanted you to be a part of my life. I couldn’t stand the idea of Jim raising my son.” His eyes met Alec’s and Alec studied his face, the same nose, the same chin and so many little things that resembled his except the eyes. Those were identical to his mom’s.
Alec looked toward the entrance of the restaurant. “That’s total bullshit. If you cared, you would have fought for me after Jim died.”
“I thought I’d already caused enough harm, so I didn’t fight…I gave up too easily.”
“You know, I don’t think I’m hungry after all. I think I’ll take my breakfast to go.” Alec pulled out his wallet and slapped a fifty on the table. “This should cover it.”
“Wait,” Brad said, grabbing his wrist. “Your brothers want to meet you. They love music just like you, and I think it’d be good for all of you to get to know each other.”
“Wait. Let me think about this. You want to apologize to me for being too big of a coward to be a father to me, but now you want me to be a part of your sons’ lives. The same sons who probably had regular meals on their table, who didn’t have a mother who told them she should have aborted him, who didn’t have a mother who dragged drunken assholes back to the house to physically abuse him and his sister.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm the fire rushing through his veins.
“I didn’t know any of that. When I gave Cecilia her check every month, she told me you were both fine.”
Alec stood up. At least he knew how his mom managed to keep the house and maintain her addiction despite her joblessness. “You gave her money?”
“Of course I did.” Brad sighed. “If I had any idea she wasn’t the mother she pretended to be, I would have fought for you and your sister with everything I had.”
“Maybe you didn’t want to know. I’m sure it made your life and your marriage a lot less complicated without Taylor and me in it. I was an inconvenient fact that you wanted to sweep under the rug with a couple dollars every month.”
Just then the waitress placed their food on the table. “Can I get that to go?” Alec asked, his eyes never leaving Brad’s.
“Sure thing.” She picked up his plate and left.
Brad grabbed an envelope from inside his briefcase. “This is from Jayden, one of your brothers.”
Alec looked at the crisp white envelope with his name on it. For a second, he wanted to throw it back in Brad’s face, but he didn’t have the energy. “What does it say?”
Brad shrugged. “He didn’t tell me.”
“Thanks.” He slipped it into his back pocket.
“You ready?” Violet said in her soft, almost angelic voice as she laced her fingers between his. The tension that had been building over the last forty minutes melted away and he felt a million times better, but Violet always made him feel that way. Within a matter of weeks, she had wormed her way into his heart so deep, he didn’t think he’d ever get her out and maybe that wasn’t so bad. He could get used to having her there.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
“Alec, I’m proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished, even more so now that I know what you faced,” Brad said.
Alec nodded, pulling Violet by her hand away from the table.
“I’m really sorry about not being there for you and your sister when you needed me, but if you need me in the future, I’ll be there for you this time. I have no right to request this of you, but I’d love a second chance, and your brothers would love to have you in their life.” Alec started shaking his head, ready to deny Brad, but then Violet squeezed his hand and he smiled down at her.
“Well, at least think about it. I’ll understand if you can’t.” The hope shining from Brad’s face reminded Alec of the hope he felt looking at Violet at that instant.
“Okay,” Alec said. “But I can’t promise anything.” His throat felt constricted and dry.
When he made it to the parking lot, Violet circled her arms around his waist. “Are you okay?”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against his body and he brushed his lips against the top of her head, inhaling her clean, fresh scent. “Now I am. I don’t know why I decided to meet him. I feel even more conflicted than before. I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I want him in my life, but he said I have brothers—I think I want to meet them. What he did or didn’t do shouldn’t impact whether I talk to my brothers.”