When their breathing slowed, Alec pushed off her. “I need a minute.”
She heard water running in the bathroom and then it shut off. Seconds elapsed, eventually turning into minutes and still no Alec. She couldn’t hear him moving, breathing or talking, just absolute breath-stealing silence and, oh fuck, she couldn’t do this again and relive the agonizing moments waiting for him to decide her fate.
She slipped out of the bed and found the t-shirt he wore for dinner on the couch. Pulling it over her head, she walked to the bathroom. Before knocking, she leaned her head against the door. Nothing.
“Alec?” she said, lightly brushing her knuckles against the door.
Still nothing and blood started pounded in her ears. If he wanted her to leave, he didn’t need to hide. She wasn’t a child. Frustrated, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. Alec sat on the edge of the tub, his head cradled in his hands.
“Are you okay?” she whispered.
He looked up. His blue eyes looked haunted. “I don’t know.”
What the hell did that mean? She folded her arms across her chest. “If you want me to leave, you can ask. You don’t have to hide in the bathroom.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I just can’t get the conversation with my mom out of my head and I needed a minute, but if I’m making you uncomfortable, you can leave.”
“You mean the thing about asking for forgiveness?”
He stood up. “Yeah, that and a few other things. It’s not important. Let’s go back to sleep.”
Wrapping his hand around the nape of her neck and rubbing it gently, he guided her out the door.
“Maybe you’d feel better if you shared whatever you’re thinking about.”
He exhaled. “Not tonight. Tonight, I want to escape.”
“Later?” She didn’t know why she wanted to push the issue. Alec hadn’t promised her anything, and even though she hadn’t known him for a long time, she knew he didn’t like to share. He said he needed her tonight, but that didn’t mean he wanted anything besides a warm body and that thought left her cold.
“Ask me tomorrow.” He kissed the top of her head. “Maybe it will seem better in the morning.”
“Tomorrow morning?”
“Yes.” He slid his hands up and down her arms. “I’m too tired to make sense of it tonight, and even if I could, I just want to think about something else.”
Chapter Thirteen
Alec’s eyes fluttered open, his legs still tangled with Violet’s. He turned his head, coming face to face with her very open and alert pale blue eyes. Her white blonde hair fanned the sheet beneath her head and she looked so damn pretty and fresh in the morning. It literally sucked the oxygen out of his lungs.
A faint smile tickled the corner of her lips.
“You’re still here,” he said, one of his fingers ghosting along the silken skin of her pale pink lips.
“Were you hoping I’d leave before you woke up?”
“No.” He shook his head. He liked seeing her face in the morning. It made him feel hopeful and alive rather than waking up with the heavy weight of all his guilt and regrets reflected back at him. “It’s Saturday.” His hands threaded through her soft hair, twisting it around his fingers. “Do you have any plans today?”
Not answering the question, she braced her body on her elbows as she watched his face. He didn’t know what she thought she’d find. He mastered his poker face as a kid and even his closest friends didn’t understand him most of the time. It was a lonely existence, but he didn’t have a choice, not when his mother had crafted his life around a lie that came to a fiery end—the death of the man he thought was his father. Living in the shadows seemed so much easier than vomiting his wounds for everyone to see.
“My brother’s coming home next week. I need to get some stuff lined up for him at the Foundation. He likes to volunteer there when he’s in town. He takes the kids on field trips.”
“Field trips?”
“Hiking or fly fishing mostly, and now that the Foundation has some money I can plan something bigger. I was thinking about an overnight camping trip the weekend he gets back or maybe rafting. I love rafting.”
“What day is he coming home?” Alec turned his head away from her. He didn’t know much about Violet’s brother, but he was one more person who could expose his identity to Violet.
“Next Thursday, give or take a day or a week. Ryder is kind of unpredictable.”
Sitting up, hanging his feet over the side of the bed, he nodded. He either needed to tell Violet who he really was soon or leave before she had the opportunity to put the pieces together, so that left a little under a week to decide what to do with her and his dad. Not much time, but it was probably better that way. He didn’t need to complicate his time in Montana anymore than he already had by sleeping with Violet last night. Get in, get out, and move on with his life.