That’s fine. I need to chill the hell out before I draw any attention to myself. I feel like I’m so aroused, Sal must be able to smell it. That’s ridiculous, of course, but still. I clear my throat, dab wine from my lips with my napkin, and focus resolutely on the last few bites of my steak.
That’s when Sal pushes up from his seat, wineglass in hand. He taps the glass with his spoon. He’s going to make a toast, obviously. Toast to the birthday girl, I assume, and my face goes hot. I blush too easily, I know, especially when I’ve had a bit to drink.
“Attention, everybody!” Sal calls, and the chatter and general hubbub around the table fades. “I’d like to make a toast to Sarah, the birthday girl, who’s been by my side now for…” He glances at his watch, which garners a few laughs. “Several months now.” More soft laughter. I know exactly how long it’s been, practically to the minute. I’m sure he actually doesn’t, unless he’s been counting down the minutes until he can fuck me over by yanking my business out from under me. I struggle to make myself watch him with a smile on my face. I hope I look like an adoring girlfriend and not like I’m nauseated.
“Happy birthday, Sarah,” he says, “and many happy, healthy returns.” He turns toward me and I have no real choice but to stand and touch my glass to his. As I sip the wine, I want more than anything to see what Nick’s doing, but I know I can’t. I keep my focus on Sal.
“Now,” Sal goes on. “I also have an announcement to make, and I hope you’ll indulge me for a few more minutes.”
An announcement? I wonder what that’s about. Everyone at the table is listening raptly. Out of curiosity, I search out Phil Spada, just to judge his reaction. His face is set in a slight smile, completely appropriate for the situation. There’s nothing to read from his expression at all, except that maybe he’s pleased I’ve made it to another birthday.
“Like I said,” Sal is saying, “Sarah and I have been together now for a while, and it’s becoming more and more clear to me that she’s, well…” He trails off, turns to let his eyes meet mine. There’s warmth in them, which surprises me, but a second later I realize it’s just put on for the crowd. The corners of his mouth are still tight, no matter what kind of smile he’s managing, no matter how adoring he’s trying to make himself look. “Well,” he starts up again, “she’s the girl for me. So I’m very happy to announce tonight that Sarah and I have decided to tie the knot.”
He turns toward the others at the table and lifts his glass. “As of yesterday afternoon, we’re officially engaged.”
Chapter Three
Sarah
My face goes hot, then icy cold. I just stand there staring. I have no idea what to do. I barely feel it when Sal reaches out to touch my arm, tracing his fingers down to my hand and lifting it. He kisses the back of my hand and then slides a ring over my finger. It’s got a big diamond in it, and the light flickers back from the facets—the only thing I really see right now. My hands are shaking, but I can’t feel the tips of my fingers.
He lifts my hand again to kiss it now that it’s properly bejeweled. The ring feels heavy, like I’ve got a brick attached to my finger. Then Sal pulls me against him and kisses me, right there in front of Phil Spada, Frank, Leo, Chris…all of them.
And Nick.
I barely dare try to look at Nick, but I do. I have no idea what kind of expression is on my face. It feels like a frozen smile, but for all I know I’m grimacing with the desperation squeezing tight in my chest. Nick meets my gaze. The soft smile is gone, his mouth thin and tight against his teeth. His green eyes spark. They shift to Sal, and it wouldn’t take much stretching of the imagination to see lasers shooting out of them, drilling holes in Sal’s head.
But of course it doesn’t happen, and I’m left standing there while Sal moves aside, letting the various dinner guests approach me.
“What a wonderful birthday present!” an older woman tells me, pressing my hand with hers. “You must be so happy!”
“Congratulations! You’ll make a beautiful bride.”
“Happy birthday! Have you two decided on a date yet?”
It goes on and on. My voice switches to automatic, and I thank everyone for their well wishes as they come to shake my hand, to shake Sal’s hand, to oooh and aaah over my ring. I’ve gone numb, which is good, because if I could actually feel anything I’d burst into tears.
Nick comes up to me, too. I suppose if he didn’t it would look strange, since everyone else in the room is congratulating Sal and me. He takes my hand and presses it between his own. Muttering, “Congratulations,” he looks deep into my eyes as if he’s trying to get me to read his mind. I nod and say thanks, not sure what he’s trying to get across to me. But he wants something from me, I can tell that much. The idea of it calms me a little.