Wrecked(31)

“You’re not in love with Emily.” Watching him standing there awkwardly, I knew he wasn’t a threat in that way. If he felt anything for her, it was out of some sort of obligation.

“I’m crazy about her. I love her.”

“But you’re not in love with her.”

He looked down at the ground. “I could be. I’ve always been attracted to her, and I know I could give her what she needs, and she’d do the same for me. The rest would come.”

“Why are you here?”

“I need to know she’s going to be okay. I saw her last night, and the way she looked when she talked about you—she’s falling for you hard, and I don’t know if she’ll survive getting jerked around again.”

“I’m not going to hurt her, but Emily’s stronger than you give her credit for.”

He shifted his weight between his feet. “She needs to be protected. She needs someone to take care of her.”

“I can and will take care of her, but she’s strong enough to take care of herself. She’s done one hell of a job on her own before me. I’m just going to make sure she doesn’t have to.”

“She doesn’t need another loser in her life.” His words were sharp, and they got me where it hurt.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I know your story. You got a DUI. That’s how you met her, isn’t it? She was pretty tight lipped about it, but I figured it out.”

“Did you do a background check on me?”

“Nothing that drastic, I just asked around.”

“Then you’d also know I haven’t touched a god damn drop of alcohol since I met her.” It was true. I’d walked into Gill’s once, but I couldn’t even do that anymore. I lasted an hour before I had Cole drive me home.

“Do you think it’s a coincidence she didn’t tell you about her brother? She likes to save people. She likes to feel needed. But she needs someone to fix her, to take care of her for a change.”

“Coach Mathews, can I talk to you?” Jamie, the starting quarterback, stopped a few feet away.

“One second,” I said to Jamie before looking back to Austen.

“I’m going to take care of her.” I refused to let Austen see what effect his words had on me, but I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. Was Emily lying to me about why she wanted to be with me?

“Don’t hurt her.” It sounded like he was pleading. He was done with his macho act.

“I won’t.” It was more likely she’d hurt me. I turned and headed over to Jamie. I answered his question about off season training before making the mile long walk I’d promised myself I’d never make.

Why hadn’t she told me? Was she afraid of my reaction? Or was it worse. Was she only with me out of some warped need to feel closer to the memory of her brother or something? It just didn’t add up. I couldn’t handle it, and there was only one thing that would help.





***





I poured myself a glass of whiskey. It had been far too long since I’d had one. I’d stayed away for months, but for what? For a green eyed girl who’d been lying to me the whole time? Who cared that just the sight of her drove me wild, or that she was the first girl to actually get my sense of humor? She might have made me feel whole, but at the moment I needed to forget her. I brought the brown liquid to my lips, unwilling to spend more time thinking about the one thing I wanted more than the drink—Emily.

“Shit.” I leaned down to see what I’d stepped on. It was one of Noah’s little train toys. What the fuck was I doing? I hobbled over to the sink, that damn toy had hurt, and poured my glass down the drain. It wasn’t enough. I grabbed the bottle and poured it out. I ran the water for a minute to wash it away. Whatever was going on, the only way I was going to get answers was to talk to Emily. I loved her and Noah too much to give up.





Chapter Twenty-Five


Emily





“We need to talk.” Jake didn’t bother with pleasantries when I opened the door.

“What’s wrong?” I’d just put Noah down and was ready to go to sleep myself. That is until I saw Jake’s face. He looked horrible.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your brother?”

“What?” I felt sick. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he was asking about my brother when Austen was in town.

“Did Austen come to see you?” I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Answer me, Emily.”

“I didn’t know how.” I looked down.

“What does that mean? How could you not know how?”

“I didn’t want you to think he had anything to do with why I was with you. Or that I was trying to mess with you or anything.”

“What am I supposed to think now? We’ve been together for months, you’re supposed to be moving in with me, and you lied to me about your brother.”

“I didn’t lie.”

“Fine. You misled me.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. If I didn’t love you so damn much I’d probably just walk out the door, but I can’t. Why are you with me? Why did you want to date me in the first place? Is it because of him? Do you want to fix me, make sure I don’t screw up like he did?” The absolute despair on his face almost killed me.

“No. Or maybe there was some of that when I gave you my number, but it all changed.”

“Why? Why did it change?”

“I fell for you. I fell completely in love with you.” I put my arms around him. “I didn’t want to change you, because I fell for you the way you are.”

“I want to believe that.”

“Then believe it. It’s true.” I knew he had every right to be mad. I should have told him about my brother, but how could I?

“Are there any more secrets? You kept both Noahs from me, and I need to know if there are any more surprises.”

“I understand if this changes things…” I refused to cry. I couldn’t. My life was just a series of mistakes.

“I’m not letting you go. I need you, Emily. I don’t care if you only dated me at first in some misguided attempt to save me, because the truth is you did save me. For the first time in years, I’m happy. I’m not losing you.” He took my head in his hands.

“You’re wrong, Jake.”

“No. I’m not.”

“You’re the one who saved me. You think you’re the only one who’s finally happy? I love Noah, love him more than life itself, but I didn’t feel like this. I didn’t feel alive until I met you.”

His lips brushed against mine. “No more secrets.”

“I promise.”

“Then I need to come clean.”

“About what?”

“Austen came by after practice.”

“So?”

“So? Don’t you want to know why I’m only here now?”

“Okay.” I leaned into him more.

“I picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured myself a drink. I didn’t know what else to do. I was so damn close to taking a sip too, but then I stepped on one of those trains of Noah’s. I poured the glass and the whole damn bottle out.”

“That took three hours?”

“I went for a walk and ended up at Cole’s. He’s the one who drove me here.”

“I love you.” I kissed him.

“I love you too.”

He pulled me against him. “Can I stay? I doubt Cole’s willing to come back to get me.”

“I wasn’t going to let you leave.”

He smiled. “I don’t think I can sleep yet.”

“Me either. I need to show you something.” I took his hand and led him into my room. I dug out the photo album I kept in my bed stand.

I handed it to Jake, and sat down next to him on the bed. “This is who Noah’s named after.”

I started with the pictures of us as kids, and we moved through them until I found the one of us at his high school graduation. “He was an incredible brother. An incredible person.”

“I’m sure he was.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here. I couldn’t sleep alone.”

“Just a few more weeks, and you’ll never sleep alone again.”

I leaned over and kissed him. “Neither will you.”





Chapter Twenty-Six


Jake





“Hey Coach!” I turned toward the dock from the deck of the boat I was working on, shocked to see Becca standing there with Molly.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” I wiped the grease off my hands before walking over and pulling Becca into a hug.

“We’re spending Christmas in Augusta, so we thought we’d stop here on our drive down.”

“That’s cool. I was wondering when I’d see you again.”

“I also wanted to show this off.” She held out her left hand.

I checked out the large diamond ring on her finger. “Wow. You’re engaged?”

“Yes! Gavin proposed last week!” She popped up on her toes. She was beyond giddy.

“Congrats. That’s awesome.”

“I know it’s pretty fast, but it feels right.”

“They’re not getting married until this summer though.” Molly jumped in. She was grinning too.