Wrecked(15)

“You’re not my nurse, Emily. You don’t have to ask that.”

“I’m asking as your daughter.”

“I’m fine. How am I supposed to be doing?”

“I’ll let you rest.” I wasn’t going to cry. I’d already shed enough tears over my dad’s distaste for me to last a lifetime. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the fact that I got pregnant in high school that he resented me for. No, it was because I married the guy who knocked me up. Dad thought Tim was trouble—and he was right. But what was I supposed to do?

Dad nodded, and I left the room.

“That was fast.” Mom stood with her arms crossed at the bottom of the stairs.

I shrugged. “I tried.”

“Did you?”

I was about to ask where Noah was, but I heard his squeals coming from the living room. I followed them to find him rolling around on the floor with my parents’ golden retriever.

“He loves that dog.” Mom put an arm around my shoulder.

“It seems that way.”

“You know if you moved back up here, he could see him all the time.”

“We’ve been over this…”

She turned toward me, placing a hand on each of my shoulders. “Sweetheart, you look exhausted. You’ve been working yourself to the bone. Why won’t you come home and let me help?”

“We live in Wilmington now.”

“You only moved there for Tim. Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Is this about your father?”

“No.”

“Emily. You have to think about more than just yourself now.” She said it softly but it hurt like hell.

“You think I don’t know that? Do you think I’ve been working this hard just for myself? Do you think I’ve had almost no life since Noah was born because I’m selfish?” I might have stopped myself from crying with my dad, but I wasn’t able to stop it this time.

“I know. But you can make it easier.”

“I can’t. I’m not crawling back here.”

“Is that it? You’re afraid of looking like you can’t handle it on your own? Because plenty of moms can’t handle it even with a husband.”

“It’s more than that. I think we’re where we should be.”

“I thought you’d say that.”

“Then why’d you bring it up?” I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

“I had to try.”

I sat down on the floor next to Noah. I let him play for a minute before pulling him onto my lap. He only let me snuggle him for a second before chasing after the dog again.

“Why don’t you go lie down?” Mom said from behind me. “He’ll be ready for his nap soon too.”

“I know. Maybe I can convince him to nap with me.”

She laughed. “Good luck with that. But his portable crib is set up in your room anyway.”

“I’ve missed him so much.”

“I know.”

Noah stopped and walked back over to me, falling down into my arms.

How could I stay upset when I had the most amazing little man in my life? I stood up holding him against me. “I’m going to see if I can get him to nap.”

Mom smiled. “See you both in a few hours.”

I walked back upstairs and pushed open the door to my childhood bedroom. I held Noah against me for a while longer before putting him down in his pack and play. He seemed surprisingly content to play with some toys.

I curled up under my quilt and watched him until I heard his breathing even out. Once I knew he had fallen asleep, I followed.





Chapter Fourteen


Emily





“Mama, Mama,” Noah woke me up an hour later.

It took me a second to wake up fully. “Hi, baby.” I stayed in bed for a minute listening to his happy chatter. An hour wasn’t nearly enough sleep. I’d have to make some coffee to survive until Noah’s bedtime.

I picked Noah up out of the crib and carried him back downstairs. He struggled against me so I set him down. He took off and raced into the kitchen.

I heard a couple of voices. I quickly realized the male voice belonged to my brother’s best friend, Austen.

I tensed when I heard Noah scream—until I realized it was actually a happy squeal. I stepped into the kitchen and watched Austen swinging Noah around.

“Hey, Em!” Austen set Noah down and pulled me right into a hug.

“Hi, Austen.”

“You look great.” He turned back to my mom. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. She looks incredible.”

Mom shook her head. “She’s exhausted.”

“It doesn’t show.”

I filled a glass with water from the door of the fridge. “Is there a reason for this flattery?”

“I’m just telling you both the truth.” He went back over to the counter and picked up a cookie.

“How many of those have you had so far?” I tried to sound accusatory, but I ended up smiling.

“It’s only my second.”

I looked to my mom and she held her hand palm up toward him. “He’s telling the truth.”

“I have to keep my figure.” He gestured to his perfectly fit body.

I nudged Austen’s arm before placing my glass by the sink. It always bothered my mother when I left it there, but it seemed silly to put it in the dishwasher when I’d just want more water in an hour.

“What are you up to tonight, Em?” he asked innocently, but I had a feeling that the wrong answer would leave me with an invitation that Mom wouldn’t let me refuse. I just didn’t know what the right answer was.

Mom decided to butt in anyway. “I’m sure she’s free. She didn’t expect to get in this early.”

“I haven’t seen Noah in weeks.”

Mom wasn’t ready to drop it. “He goes to sleep at seven thirty. You might as well go out and have fun.”

“How about it?” Austen smiled. That smile used to make me weak.

“I don’t think I’m up for going out.”

“All right, I get that. How about I come back over tonight after Noah goes to sleep? I’d love to catch up, but I need to get going. I only stopped by when I noticed your car.”

“That sounds lovely. Do you want to join us for dinner?” Mom said in her ‘this isn’t really a question’ voice.

He glanced at me, and must have seen something there. “No. That’s all right. I’ll just come by around eight or so.”

“Great. I’ll walk you out.” Mom glanced at me over her shoulder. She really needed to stay out of things.

Mom returned to the kitchen. “Austen looks great, doesn’t he?”

“As compared to how bad he looked the last time I saw him?”

“All I’m saying is he’s a good looking man.”

“What’s your point, Mom?” I pulled out some coffee beans from the cabinet and poured them in the grinder.

“My point is that he’s good looking and clearly interested.”

“He’s not interested in me. He just wants to catch up.”

“I’d call you innocent, but I think that little boy in the other room makes that impossible.”

“What are you expecting? That Austen will decide he wants to marry a single mom and raise a kid that isn’t his?” I was shocked by the anger in my voice. I was even more shocked when I realized I wasn’t thinking about Austen when I said it.

“You didn’t choose this path, Emily.”

“No, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m a single mom.”

“Austen knows that and doesn’t seem to care. You can’t say that about all men.”

“I know.” I forced myself to push Jake out of my head.

I scooped Noah up again. He pushed a little turtle toy into my face. “Thanks, kiddo. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Dad didn’t come down for dinner. I wasn’t sure if he’d been doing that since he got sick, or if it was because I was there. I didn’t ask. I helped Noah with his food and then settled down to enjoy mine. Between Jake cooking for me, and then my mom, I felt spoiled.

I played with Noah, read to him, and put him to sleep. I put him in the crib set up in my brother’s room, so I didn’t have to worry about waking him up when I went to bed. I was lucky he was such a good sleeper and rarely woke up at night.

Austen showed up at exactly eight, and my mom conveniently disappeared five minutes later.

“Do you want to sit out on the back porch?” I slipped on some flip flops.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Want something to drink?” I had already pulled a diet Coke out for myself.

“Sure, I’ll have the same as you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Since when are you drinking diet?”

“First you accuse me of eating all the cookies, and now you don’t think I can drink diet soda? What kind of impression have I made on you all these years?”

I laughed, but it came out as more of a giggle. Austen was the only person who ever made me do that—and he knew it.

He held open the screen door and followed me out. I curled up on one of the worn, floral-pattern couches, pulling my sweatshirt around me. One of the best parts of being in the mountains was that it got cool on summer nights.

“What’s new with you?” He took a seat next to me, instead of on the chair.