"What are you doing here so early?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Woke up with a big problem."
"Ty, I am seriously not in the mood for any penis jokes this early."
He held his hands up in he air. " As much as I'd like to joke about my dick, that isn't what I came here for. You see, Miranda and I sorta messed around while we were in the woods and we woke up with chiggers all over our legs........and well, it's even on some other important parts." He got all serious while I covered my mouth to control my own laughter. Ty held up his index finger. "Please don't tell Colt. I don't feel like hearing his shit."
A deep voice filled the room. "Don't tell me what?"
"Oh hell!" Ty sat down and put his hands in his face. "This is why I came here and didn't ask your mother for the fingernail polish."
Colt and I laughed. Even I knew that when you went out into the woods you had a chance of getting those little pesky microscopic bugs on your ankles and legs. If you didn't come home and shower right away, the after effects of them biting could be unbearable, to say the least. Obviously, Ty and Miranda were too busy rolling around in the woods yesterday to think about anything like that. I could only imagine where they had them.
Colt had gotten them last year after taking Noah out hunting for squirrel. They killed about five and skinned them before coming in to shower. I forget what else happened, but we ended up having to do something before they could get washed up. The next day the two of them were itching something fierce. Colt was in better shape than our son, who cried as he discovered the tiny little blistered bites all up his legs. The two of them continued to itch themselves until they were raw.
It took five days for the itching to completely go away and I don't think either of them had ever gone out into those woods without getting a shower immediately when they came inside. The fact that Ty had them that bad, was just funny to me, where I think my husband had a bit more compassion.
"Did ya'll shower yet?" Colt still couldn't contain the grin from showing on his face.
"Yeah, we showered last night. I swore it was too cold for them to be out, but damn if I wasn't wrong."
It was obvious that he had come for the clear fingernail polish. For some reason the old wives tale did seem to stop the spreading and some of the itching.
"Dude, I woke up and the shit was all over my balls." Ty started itching his crotch, just as my mother came walking in with Christian in her arms.
She refused to make eye contact with any of us as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle. When I approached her, she shook her head, but said not one single word. I grabbed the bottle of pumped breast milk out of her hand and put it in the warmer. Christian reached her hands out for her Uncle Ty and I could tell it aggravated my mom. She was a little smothering when she visited her grandchildren and hated to share her time with other adults. Ty leaned over and kissed his niece, before he and Colt walked out of the room.
As soon as they were gone, my mother began whispering. " What was that about? I don't think it is appropriate for you to be talking about Tyler's body parts like you four do."
"Mom, it's not like that at all. Ty and Miranda got chiggers out in the woods yesterday. He came over to get some fingernail polish to stop the spread of them. We don't talk about our body parts and even if we did, it would only be a joke. We're friends and family. I know you think our relationships are weird, but we all love each other."
When the bottle warmer chimed that it was ready, my mother grabbed the bottle and started feeding Christian. I was surprised she hadn't screamed for her bottle while she waited like she normally did.
"I know you all have a special connection to each other. I guess it is just hard for me to understand it from the outside. You and Tyler have such a history. It amazes me that you can joke around and not ever be offended. I guess it's the fact that you're family."
"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I love them very much and I couldn't imagine my life without them."
Since I hadn't had any coffee and already had two serious conversations, I decided to go get the polish so at least Ty could get back to the main house. At any second Noah and Bella would be barging through the door demanding to do something they shouldn't be asking to do. I looked over at the coffee pot before heading up to my bathroom to find the fingernail polish.
Now, my nails were naturally long and everyone knew that I had them professionally done, so clearly it would have made sense for me to keep clear fingernail polish in the house. The truth was that I had over a dozen bottles of clear, but when I thought about Ty and where he said he had them, I grabbed the bright pink and headed downstairs.